Honey Drool

Have you ever heard of Honey Drool? No, I dont mean drooling over honey or anything that you might call "honey" but drool that is honey? Well, neither did I till I met Baby George.....

Baby George is at a stage where he is constantly drooling... so no matter where he is there is a constant stream of drool hanging from his mouth despite best attempts by his meticulous aunt to clean him up... so most often my clothes are dripping with baby drool after I am done with playing with Baby George.... so one day when I was frantically cleaning my clothes of baby drool, my sister in her most helpful way said that baby drool is actually honey!! So now I have named Baby George, the Honey Drool kid....

And he is also at a stage where he wants to put everything into his mouth.... So he sees my fingers and pulls it towards his mouth with whatever little energy his 6 month old body has.... and I am constantly fighting off these biting attempts by baby george... most recently baby george landed what I thought was a huge slurpy, drool filled, sloppy kiss on my cheek... I went about the rest of the day claiming to everybody that Baby George gave me my first kiss... ofcourse the party stopped when I was told by my friend and my sister that actually he was trying to bite my cheek and not kiss it....

well only Baby George can answer properly and since he is choosing not to talk for the present I declare it to be a kiss...

Chalk and Cheese

Its not very unusual for one to feel that they are different from another person... come to think of it except for a few friends, I doubt whether I am that similar to any person.... sometimes I take it as a total compliment ... "Yay, I am unique" type of feelings... and at other times I feel downright despondent seeing how different I am from some people and how even if I try I will never become like that person... obviously this means that I admire that person in some subtle way but am not willing to admit it openly....

Most often these differences come up in the most mundane of things..... for instance, packing suitcases.... now a friend of mine would pack only after preparing a proper checklist of items needed for the trip... shampoo, tickets, torch, toothpaste, mosquito repellent etc etc....and then ofcourse the packing is a work of art....the clothes are arranged neatly (cos obviously they have been ironed a week in advance) into the suitcase, properly matched and perhaps even colourcoded.... so when one opens the suitcase, all the onlookers would see a completely organised suitcase..in short akin to a neatly arranged aisle of a super market.. and as compared to the supermarket finish, if I were to open by suitcase in front of people, the first thought that would come to their unsuspecting minds is "Garage Sale!"... the clothes are all there in the suitcase but not in any particular order... infact it is without any order .... and while i keep stating that there is order in the chaos, I doubt anybody would prefer the garage sale finish to the supermarket finish... Chalk and cheese?? ohhh I think so...


Well I dont know if I will ever be able to be that organised... my life is all about instant happiness.... everything has to happen fast.... so I usually dont ponder about the long term consequences of my actions and go with the attitude of I will tackle it when that happens....maybe it is time for me to change a little bit.... at least get a "Sabzi Mandi" finish to my packing if not yet a "Super Market" finish...

Does a City belong to you?

I have been away in Bangalore for the past two days ..... just going from one office to the other and back to the airport... and in between all this I realised that my city has changed so much... why is it my city? cos I stayed there for 5 years.... and no matter what I did or didnt do in law school, the 5 years I spent in law school were one of the most life altering years of my life... and for me the city is inextricably linked to that process...

so firstly the city has become a little more crowded.... or maybe I now travel in cars and earlier I would commute using my tiny little bike which made beating traffic a little more easy... now I see myself calculating the time it will take me to get from town (M.G. Road) to the Airport... and I was like "hey, I would do twice this distance during my student days"... and everyone around me says wistfully "times have changed since you left"..

and the city is trying to braze itself for its new metro project... so one of our favourite little theatres is being converted into a new metro station... yes for all the ex-law schoolites reading this, Arvind Narayan's Plaza theatre right on M.G. Road is becoming a world class railway station.... feels weird seeing one of the most recognisable buildings in Bangalore vanish...

While I noticed all these changes in my city, I didnt feel any loss... as in I just didnt feel like I am missing out on anything....I didnt feel the pull in heart about seeing such big transformation... of lost times and bygone eras... and that is when I realised that B'lore for me will always be the city in which I became a young adult... but it is not the city which accepted me an adult... and that is only Mumbai.....

Large hearted roads

Like everyday I was in my taxi today on my way to work ....and just near my office I got stuck at a traffic signal... in front of me was a large water truck - you know one of those trucks where you have pipes at the end that you can draw water out of... ofcourse I didnt bother much about the truck or about the happenings around me and was just only bothered about how soon I can reach the office....

and then out of nowwhere a group of kids scrambled around the water truck.....i didnt understand at first what the fascination was... .. and then I realised that they had started opening the pipes and taking out the water in their pots and pans... and one of them ingeniously started speaking to the truck driver keeping him engaged.. one by one the kids filled up their pots and pans and by the time the light turned green all of them had a pot full of water.... and in the meantime all of the onlookers did nothing but watch the spectacle... some taxi drivers even moved their taxies back to give room for more kids... and nobody (inlcuding me) seemed to find it necessary to tell the truck drivers that your water is being stolen... something so right in something so obviously wrong... Was it my urban guilt? at seeing so many kids growing up with no water??

Thats the thing about Indian roads... there is always some sort of life on the roads.... its only now that we have the tinted glasses on big cars where the drivers in their coat and suit behave as if they are doing a favour by even looking at the road..... and no matter what there is always room for one more on the Indian road... room for one more car, one more bullock cart, one more vegetable van, one more dog, one more cow, one more cat, one more rat.. one more of anything.... we just have enough space for everybody and we all just squeeze by....

And we even have elephants walking on the road... now in India I would not bat an eye lid if I saw an elephant right outside my car window... for me, he (or she) is like another traveller on their way to work...... but I realised how much we take seeing our elephants on the road for granted when I went to South Africa... I remember getting so excited seeing an elephant in the Kruger National Park .... I immediately whipped out my camera and started clicking away in all angles.... the elephant crossing the road, the elephant having his lunch, the elephant looking at us menancingly..... and when I see the same elephant crossing the road in Mumbai my camera stays right inside my bag.. no excitment, no flashes, nothing....in any other country, an elephant on the road would have created chaos and lead to the elephant being almost blinded by the incessant clicking of cameras ....


Thats life I guess!!! Well at least the journey is interesting on Indian roads....

Cric-in-my-neck

I am not a big fan of cricket... and before anyone out there goes on to say that "ohh women.. they never like cricket" let me tell you that the first fanatics of cricket I met in my life were my cousins- all girls!!

But despite not being a fan of cricket I felt crestfallen when India got out... I felt as if my days suddenly got bleaker, there was not much left to look forward to in this world cup and for about a day and a half I felt like a lost puppy... "ohh what will we do now? Can Bermuda actually beat Bangladesh?" were some of the incredulous questions I asked...

Anyways now I am back to the preworld cup phase- and that means I am back to wondering why so many people spend so much time on a silly game where everyone is hitting or chasing one tiny little ball!!! I mean seriously lets talk about some serious things here...

Kids say the darnest thing!

Christy is easily the naughiest boy I have ever seen... my mom says that he takes after his mother who was supposedly a terror in her childhood... so in a way she is getting a taste of her own medicine... one which obviously she is not taking a taste to...

so recently she flew off her handle when Christy messed up Baby George's soup.... and went on and on about how naughty he is and how he should behave himself... blah blah blah..... Christy in the meantime kept quite throughout the tirade ....and finally when my sister took a break from all the shouting Chirsty immediately quipped "Mummy, you have become thinner"....

Needless to say the shouting didnt resume after that.......... kids!!!

More of Maldives..

A Mal-in- the Dives!

Finally I got to see the "sunny side of life"... yes over the weekend I went to Maldives for a holiday... it was all impromptu.... my friend of 1 4 years called and said she was planning a trip to Maldives and would I want to join in ??? YEAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH..... and off I went

Maldives is all about the sea... obviously..... and all about things on th ebeach.... so if you dont know what to do on a beach or in the sea it is quite a pointless journey, right??............. nope!!! I was a total greehorn when it came to the ocean... I dont venture out too much and I just stay in the shore... but I totally enjoyed myself.... I found myself learning how to swim...its easier than I thought... and I also snorkelled!!! after much coaxing by my friend.... and in the evening we would just sit outside listening to the waves..... and ofcourse I slept as well.....

and few things I noticed about Maldives....

a) the sea is blue..i mean beautiful blue... you can see the pictures..... living in mumbai you tend to think a blue sea is a myth...

b) there are more mals in Maldives than I can digest.... there was a mal on every corner... and they tried to make friends with us... I totally agree with their sentiments.. they only see white skin...and finally to see some people of your country ... well its a relief in many ways...

c) I actually saw fish !! beautiful colours... some were striped, some were bright, some where multicoloured....awesome... I also chased some of them....

I loved this short holiday..... ofcourse I am black as a crow....and I am sure my mom will disown me when I meet her... but what the heck!!

A Mal in the Dives is better than one in Mumbai!!!

Ever since I changed my job from IDFC all my travelling plans have been made with a sense of apprehension... in fact the feeling of apprehension is so huge that I feel like cancelling all my leave plans just the day before... I sweat, tense up, feel like I dont deserve to take this holiday, feel all weepy and nervous just before my trip.....

And that is exactly how I am feeling right now... although it helps immensely that I am working with a great team who is able to support me and an equally supportive boss (who made the mistake of suggesting that I take a holiday cos I had been spending way too much time in the office... hahaha)....

So here I am keeping my fingers crossed hoping to take my flight to my holiday destination in another 8 hours... Please cross your fingers also... lest I sweat and fall off just before I board the flights ....

where am I going?? I think it is best when I put up the pictures.... trust me it will be worth it....

One of the major changes that I see in my friends after their marriage is their inability to come on holidays sans their better halves...so most often I make the mistake of approaching my friends as if they are still my old buddies ... ready to run along with me wherever we chose to go... but after a few trial and errors I have learned my lesson... Now, I just dont approach my married friends for any holidays I take ....

I just go and if they decide to come along that is fine...

A little bit of that and this

The thing that I like about Yoga is that they teach you about your own body... for instance did you know that all the ills of the body can be cured by breathing in a particular way.... or the fact that if you curve up your body you are actually helping the skin... now usually when I am told all this by my yoga teacher I lap it all up while simultaneously feeling proud about my ancestors who knew so much about how to keep ourselves happy.... but today my yoga teacher told us "all the emotions are concentrated in the stomach area"... huh???? my mind immediately wandered to the possible interpretations about this statement... so does a person with a large belly then have wide range of emotions? Can one tickle one's tummy and invoke a certain emotion? hmmm.....

I had stopped yoga for a month ... .mainly cos it was really becoming stressful to come back at 12 in the night, wake up at 7, do yoga, run off to see Baby George and then reach office... I was just too tired... the other reason was ofcourse the fact that people started missing me when I didnt go to one class... so you know I cringed at such familiarity and wished to blank out for a while.... strange?? even I think so... like my friend observed.... "how is it that you hate people getting too familiar but at the same time you have such good friends?".... well dont know how that happens.... a case of split personality??? maybe, maybe not...

In other news I got a cold... from Baby George.... his little nose was blocked cos of the cold and he was wheezing through out... and he sneezed next to my face a couple of times .... and that is how I got a cold... I am sending my sister all the medical bills...

Baby george has also tumbled over..... after heartbreaking failed attempts in the past baby george finally tumbled to the other side... so now instead of twisting his head he twists his body and faces the person..... he also started talking... the only problem is that we cant understand what he is saying.... and I think when he hears a song he tries to sing along... Baby George is growing up....

A Wo-man's Day

Once somebody told me that even God makes mistakes.... that sometimes even God does not have the answers to all the man created issues.... and no more is this true that in the case of a woman..... There are so many loopholes in her creation, which if rectified, could have made a woman's life a little better...

The first such loophole is her physical weakness.... while technology and civilised society may have mitigated the superiority of the brawn but it is still one of the paramount reasons why a woman is so demeaned in society.... She cannot defend herself and she is forced to depend on men for her defence.... is it skewed? Oh Yes..

The second such loophole is ironically entrenched with her ability to reproduce... I think our forefathers were absolutely right in recognising the vast power that a woman held over society due to her ability to reproduce... however it is that same recognition that has devalued her in many ways... firstly she is made to believe that that is her only contribution in society- that she is not good for anything else.... secondly she is viewed as a commodity to produce kids with- hence the physical attributes becomes much more magnified for her- cos she has to produce the most perfect baby, doesnt she? so if she is older than 30 she is devalued in society due to the reduced chances of conceiving, or if she is of a darker skin tone she is considered to be incapable of producing beautiful children, there is just no value given to her person....

The third loophole is one linked to the above- a woman herself does not believe her value comes from being herself... she has to be linked to a man and her child failing which she is considered to be 'loose', a cannonball that every man can take a shot at and use.... its all not fair but a woman is obviously lulled into believing that if she doesnt marry by a certain age then she is not successful... and trust me even highly educated women make compromises so that they can get the married tag..... and then go on to poke fun at their single friends who has probably not been as stupid as them to have gotten married in haste to the wrongest man on earth.... the common refrain in my hometown is 'well at least she has got somebody'.... and trust me I know all about this...

I dont think things will change unless women themselves realise their value... and give value to other women.... so heres to all the women out there- mothers, sisters, friends- please believe in your intrinsic value as women and dont devalue other women you know for any reason- including for not being with a man....

Sorry people I just feel very strongly about this....

Sunday musings...

After about 3 weeks I went grocery shopping today... all in the hope of buying ingredients for chicken chettinad!!.... yes I dont cook anything simple..... so if you ask me to cook dal I would be totally lost.... so off I went to Pali Hill near my house to look for the perfect veggies.... and I had no idea that I was so sorely missed by the Sabziwalla at Pali hill...

The Sabziwalla greeted me "Arre madam, Kitne din bath app aye" (Madam you have come after a long time)... instinctively, I looked behind me to look at the woman he was referring to.... No one... I smiled coyly explaining how my work has been keeping me away from real life... "Arre Madam, Aap Pathle bhi Ho kaye hai. Kitna Kaam Karte hai" (Madam you have become thin also. Too much work)... In gratitude, I bought veggies I could not even name and which would probably end up in my dustbin a few weeks from now...

Ofcourse my mom was totally unimpressed with my shopping trip since according to her no decent meal could be prepared out of the veggies I had bought....

but Mom, didnt you hear?? They said I have become thin....

Changin one's mind

Recently I had a moral dilemma... I am now in a place where I work with a lot of interns .... and at the end of the day we are always expected to recommend the good ones and get them recruited... so I have been working with these interns who according to me were a sure shot into the firm... so other than the casual questions of 'where do you see yourself 5 years from now' I did not ponder too much about convincing them to join the firm... However, late on Monday night they told me that they had been approached by a rival firm and they had accepted the offer!! I was a bit shocked and in a way a bit disappointed since I didnt understand why they didnt discuss with me first.... so there I was trying to convince them to reconsider their decision... and the one question that totally stumped me was "Is it ethical for us to change our mind once we have accepted?"...

now that is something that I had no answer to... the only answer I could mutter was "Yes it is not ethical to say something and do something else. But you need to think about whether you are making a good career choice"... ofcourse in this case it was a happy ending since they finally agreed to join us after taking into account their career prospects...and also the fact that they were barely given 24 hours by other rival firm to convey their decision...


But I still have not reconciled the answer to the question that they asked me... Is it ethical to change one's mind after you have indicated that you are going in a certain direction? Wouldnt the person you indicated this to have already made some plans based on what you have indicated? Isnt it totally unfair to do that? Is it justified under any circumstances?

In matters of the heart I have often despised persons who have mislead people.... People who promised fidelity and then did just the opposite, people who promised marriage and finally at the last moment changed their minds, people who waited for a better opportunity to come along and then changed their mind cos they suddenly had a better option.... all of this accordingly to me smacks of total lack of character.... and to this day I treat these people who misbehaved either with me or with others with total disdain... I just dont think they are worthy of any attention from me....

On the other than, I have had friends who have changed their minds about various issues such as babies, adoption, husbands, marriages as they slowly evolved through experiences... their decisions were based on their convictions at that point in time ... and while in the beginning I would wonder why they potrayed a different picture, I realised soon enough that I am not the one to live with their decisions and so I have no right to judge..... but even in such cases I do dislike it when people dont acknowledge the fact that they have indeed changed their mind... most make it look like this is the way they have always wanted to live their life... which I dont like but at the same time I recognise that as being a very sensitive issue .... it is afterall difficult to acknowledge one's failure or mistakes in public...

I guess there is no proper answer to this question... it all depends on which end of the stick you are in... so if it is you who has been mislead and lied to you are never likely to find the whole thing tolerable... at the same time if you are the one doling out such treatment to others then either you really have no character, or your hands are really tied up or you really dont mind going to hell after your life in the world....

100th Post!!!!!

Yipeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.... this is my 100th post.... I am so thrilled about having achieved such a milestone.... and all those who leave comments on my blog will get a personal thankyou blog!!!

Talking about popularity, I think my blog is one of the least viewed... as in apart from a handful of people my blog pretty much continues to reside in the vast backlog of blogs... so when I see other blogs who have like 5000 visitors in 3 months I am like- how do they find out about this blog? Hmm...

But like my friend said- my blog is not intended to feel popular...it is intended to be a conversation with invisible friends..... and that is the way it shall be.....

Having said all that, I am not all averse to people leaving comments on my blog about how much they like it or not... just a bit of self indulgence....

Back to the blues

Okkk it seems that blue day is back... cos I was told that I will never be able to afford a private jet and fly out to Paris for a day.... that chocolate is beckoning me again....

but the good part is that I am going to have breakfast with baby george tomm.... since he is already flying around the room in my arms I am sure he will definitely be in a sunny mood.....

Sunny Days

Well today it is back to sunny days... and yes I did eat a chocolate y'day when it was one of those terrible "stormy" days.....

Things that make me go blue

Just like any normal person I go through my share of "phases"

First there are the normal "sunny" days where I am at my cheerful best... I feel as if the world is full of opportunities, life is great, people are great, I am the luckiest person in the world blah, blah, blah..... and then there are the mellow "rainy" days when all I feel like doing is gazing into the vast expanse of nothingness and contemplate my journey through life, my place in the world and the place of people in my world... and then there are the terrible "stormy" days when I feel like my life is a total blackout and ponder over how I could ever be happy again- most often these days usually end up with me eating a chocolate and feeling good at having eaten something forbidden...

Usually my blue days are triggered by very mundane things... something like my mom not understanding why I live my life the way I do and making her problem my problem, or my sister being sad for some reason, or if I have not slept properly, or if I have not been able to take christy to Atria Mall, or if a really close friend says something mean..... sometimes I cant really explain the reason why I am blue...

Needless to say today is one of those blue days....I have not slept for day... have not met anybody for days... have not eaten home cooked food for dayyyyyyssss... have not met baby george for days...... ... I need to do something drastic now.... like go and stay in a place without electricity for a week, or just throw my phone into the sea and not be contactable for a week (all the ensuing attention will definitely make me feel great ), or just splurgeeeeee on a private jet and fly to Paris for a day and come back... something so drastic that I am shocked back into normalcy.....

Hmmm...

Love Stories

I am sitting up at 12:30 in the morning cos of work... and usually when I am all alone I start thinking about the weirdest things...

For instance today the topic that is paramount in my head is love stories!!!.. I am a secret sucker for great romantic love stories... I love hearing stories about how strangers met each other, fell in love, and lived happily ever after.... so in a crowd Iam usually the first person to grill a newly married couple about how they met.... and almost to the point of appearing like a person who doesnt have any romance in her life, I just keep bombarding them with questions- "so what did you think of him when you first saw him?" or "so did you know at the start itself that you were meant for each other?" (yeah, stupid I know) or "when did you realise that you cant live without her?" etc etc... and now looking back I must have appeared like an eager fool... like someone living vicariously through other people's lives....

But none of that is true... I would be equally interested in a love story even when my own love story is at its peak... I just love love stories ... it warms my heart... oh come on! it warms your heart also....

what is the most beautiful love story I have heard??

Well it definitely is not Romeo and Juliet.... I mean I find it extremely impractical .... and needless to say it teaches gullible youngsters the wrong thing about love....

on the other hand Eric Segal's Love Story is quite decent.. when I read it for the first time at 19 I cried for poor Oliver... I bawled at the thot of Oliver having to live without Jenny for the rest of his life.... wouldnt every road remind him of her? How would he move on in life? ofcourse now that I am in my thirties I realised life does go on.... but the story is really touching in many ways... to feel that sense of loss for someone is indeed a very powerful feeling....

another love story is the story of Doctors, once again by Eric Segal... two best friends falling in love after having gone through all relationship issues with other people... in a way you want them to get together but at the same time you are wondering whether their friendship will be spoilt cos of that.... well it is a book so I am just going to keep assuming that they never fell out of love....

ofcourse there are other love stories I will always cherish in my heart like the "Far Pavillions" by MM Kaye.... the romance of a white man falling in love with an Indian princess is too much of a good thing ..... favourite part is the last scene where Ash and his beloved Anjuli ride off into the valley leaving behind a life of strife, separation, betrayal and sadness... all in the hope of a peaceful loving life.... ohhh my eyes are moist now just thinking about it...

The one love story that still makes me cry even today is the short story by Jeffery Archer called "Christina Rosenthal".... well ... I find it difficult to describe the emotion that I go through when I read that story...it is not just the love of a man and a woman... it is also the love of a father.... it is the love and devotion of a son... its just about love...

Ahh love...

but for now I would just love to sleep..... and would love it even more if i could hug baby and sleep....but Baby George is far far away....

Apologies

I think I unwittingly offended my friend in the UK by writing about my reasons for not liking a life abroad.. I could almost sense her coming out of the computer screen and giving me two tight slaps....

She clarified the following to me:

a) she loves India even more now that she lives abroad

b) She thinks colour is more of an issue in India than abroad.

So she seemed pretty offended that I could make such general statments about people living abroad... And this blog is to apologise to her and also perhaps acknowledge a few facts to myself...

a) Yes some people do behave badly when they are in India. Perhaps it is their lack of knowledge, cultural enlightenment, or just simple lack of courtesy to a country that makes them feel it is ok to put down India. Sometimes I feel they do this here only cos we let them get away with it. Would they behave in a similar manner if they were say in Paris? or say in Venice? No they would just keep quiet. Indians on the other hand also take it cos for centuries we have been fed the BS that we are so inferior to the white skin. It is very acceptable for a foreigner to come to our land, show off his wealth and look down on the brown fellows and tell them how screwed up their life is.

b) I do remember people telling me that I have become more of an Indian after my return from UK. Even I acknowledge that. I remember my mallu accent became more pronounced and all my arguments with foreigners were about how we in India dont have such a bad life. I appreciated even the architecture of my country more when I saw what was on offer abroad

So perhaps it was not fair to make a general statement like that.. so apologies for that...

Baby George's Antics

Now my Saturday routine is something like this...I go to office or work out of home till about 3 in the evening...after which I scream all the way to my sister's house to baby sit Baby George while his mother goes out for about 3 hours to meet her friends...well not that I am complaining at all.... I love looking after Baby George and if at the end of it my sister feels eternally indebted to me and feeds me mallu food at my beck and call- why not?....

so for the past 3 Saturdays I have been assigned the role of the baby sitter... and baby george has been an exceptional nephew I must say... he cries only when left on the floor alone cos he wants to travel.... and he cries only when he wants his milk.... otherwise he is pretty engrossed in his own little world watching and taking in the world perched peacefully in my arms..... and sometimes in the course of his world gazing he falls off to sleep...... sometimes I wish even I could fall off to sleep like that...

Baby George has also started flying now... I swoop him up, hold him straight like superman and make him float around the room.. first few times Baby George was extremely surprised by the new angle from which he was seeing things...but now I think he likes it.... especially when I float him and take him to his mother/brother.... or me...

Baby George smiles a lot also.... I am extremely curious to know what he is thinking when he smiles at me.... does he see me as a blob who is dancing in front of him, making funny noises and even funnier faces... or is he genuinely happy to see this familiar face ... or is he just happy to see someone new.... whatever the reason he genuinely seems happy on seeing me....

Well I am told that he will become more interesting in the coming months... I cant wait!!!!

Women I admire

Even though I grew up in a traditional mallu home I was exposed very early on to the potential of women...

the first such lady was my grandmother ... she was one of the first lady doctors of India... at a very young age my grandmother did the unthinkable in those days- took a train all the way from Kerala to the State of Madras. All alone!!!... and enrolled herself in the medical university at Madras... she was one of the four women students there in the midst of about 40 male students .... one of them ofcourse being my grandfather.... they fell in love in medical school and defied parents to get married ...... well the romance of their lives is another blog but today it is about the phenomenal grandmother that I had.... she went to practice medicine till she died.... I am named after her and she died within a year of me being born.... and not only was she smart people remember her even today for her generousity..........sometimes I wonder - if she had been alive today would she behave like a typical grandmother and tell me to start producing babies or would she understand that I am embarking on the same journey similar to the one she embarked on about 70 years back... I dont know and I guess I will never find out....

The other ladies who have always been a source of inspiration for me are my father's aunts- his mom's sisters.... now they were 4 in all - my grandmother being the eldest........while my grandmother completed her class 10th (a big thing in those days), my grandmother's sisters went on to study medicine!!! yes all three of them were doctors .... and all of them also did the unthinkable those days by travelling all the way to Chandigarh no less to study!!! well I dont know what it was like in those days but I have to admit even now going alone to Chandigarh is not an option that I would readily jump at.... and these grandaunts have often told me about stories of people harassing them on the way to Chandigarh... including that of a stalker whom they finally managed to catch and beat the hell out of .... well I do the same now at bandra train station.. hehe...

And then ofcourse there are the slightly distant relations who are equally impressive... one of them being Anna Malhotra who has gone down in Indian general knowledge questions as the first woman IAS officer of India... from early childhood her name was taken as a role model for me... "when you grow up you must become like Annakoch"... and I would imagine this superwoman lady and wonder whether I will ever be that revered by family..... and about 3 years back I finally met the great Annakoch face to face... and while she was stiff and not really warm, for me it was like meeting a legend... in my eyes she was.....

Having grown up in an environment where it was normal for a woman to have a job and a family it really shocked me that women of my generation are really living in an age beyond that of my grandmother.... for instance the girls in my batch of 12th standard had picked out the names of their children!!! and to be a part of the crowd I would also pick out random names for my as yet unborn children.... and some girls would also counsel me sometimes about how I should try and "tone"down since boys will never marry me if I am so bold.... and to be honest at that age I did start believing that being a woman with ambition was really a disease.... while in hind sight I realised that I was just in the wrong place at the wrong time I did go through some soul searching for being the way I am ....

To be honest I still have not met women as amazing as my aunts and grandmother... today we are given all the opportunities on a platter... we didnt have to make the opportunity ... and these women made their opportunity ........... and I am proud of them......

Women- Just Do It, I say!

The reason why...

I dont think living abroad is cooler than living in India:

a) It is not India

b) There is no Indian food

c) There is no domestic help

d) You have to help the host clean up after dinner at their place

e) Your skin colour determines the worlds attitude towards- when people are kind to you it is "progressive" and when people are rude to you it is "racism". Dont know if it is any other reason.

f) You are always insecure about your place in the country (this is personal)

g) You cant take a taxi (at least in London)

h) You never have conversations with the Sabji walla cos you pick it up off the shelf

i) You cant call up mom and tell her that you are coming over the weekend for a break

j) You are sometimes lonely in the crowd.

k) watching hindi movies abroad is just not the same

l) You tend to forget the wealth that your country has and has given you

m) You genuinely start believing that your country is really backward.


I dont know whether this makes sense to the people reading this... and this is not to say that I will never go abroad ever but I genuinely miss all of the above when I am outside India.... especially Indian food and my place in the system.... .... and no I am not blind to the problems of India either... Its just that I will always be a misfit abroad.... no matter how much I adjust...

Nostalgia

One of my favourite stories is Eric Segal's "The Class". Somehow the story of an entire batch of Harvard, their journey through life, their tribulations and finally taking stock of each others life at a college reunion gripped my fantasy... Does every batch of every college go through that? Would I go through that? What would it be like at my class's reunion? How would each others life look compared to the promises we made to the world and ourselves about how we would lead our lives?

I think there is one crucial thing that each one of us realises when we move on in life from college... that the plans we made will sometimes remain just that - plans... it is mostly unplanned things that happen that becomes our life.... I have seen very few people - perhaps a handful- whose lives have gone exactly according to plan.... Well good for them... and at the same time good for others whose lives did not go according to their plan- sometimes at 20 you are ready to marry even Charles Shobharaj....

I dont know why but I am just curious to find out how we all will be doing at the end of 30 years of life outside college... will we be more cynical? Will we have the business tycoon regalling us with stories of corporate acquisitions? Will we have the prime minister sitting in our midst? Will we have the best corporate lawyers trying desperately for one night not to be a shark? Will we have happy people or just highly wound up people? desperate to put up a facade of good life and of dreams achieved?

As for what I would like to end up looking like at the class reunion- one word sums it up- Cheerful... I hope no matter what life brings along in the next two decades I still maintain my cheerfulness... so even if I am leading a life as a corporate lawyer or as a housewife, or as a working mother (!!!!), or as a wife who lives off her husband's well earned income or as a waganond who does not have any base or as a solid anchored person living my life in the same city for the past 30 years-I just wish I am still as cheerful as ever... and still as curious about the world as I am today.... and have the ability to say "Que Sera Sera".......

Okk enough of Ms. Goody Two Shoes..... I also want to look HOTTTTTTTTT at my class reunion!!!

Things I hate

About myself...

1) I hate the fact that I trust so easily

2) I hate the fact that sometimes I dont read the writing on the wall

3) I hate the fact that sometimes even after reading the writing on the wall I just continue with status quo cos I am so scared of disrupting routine

4) I hate the fact that I still not have my favourite movie (other than ofcourse home videos of baby george)

5) I hate the fact that I am reluctant to explore my other interests with equal enthusiasm

6) I hate the fact that I still lust after choclate pastry

7) I hate the fact that I hate maths

8) I hate the fact that I loose patience with arrogant people... I just let them think they deserve their arrogance

9) I hate the fact that I appear frivolous to some people... with some long term disastrous consequences- for the other person that is...

10) I hate the fact that I sometimes bottle up my feelings.... I do need a mind reader as a partner otherwise its going to be tough figuring out what I am feeling...

11) I hate the fact that I missed my first nephew grow up...

12) I hate the fact that I dont fit into Kerala

13) I hate the fact that I am not totally proud of my malayalee roots

14) I hate the fact that I am just an armchair activist

15) I hate that my cousins can eat a truckload and still remain as thin as a wafer

okk... enough.....

White Shirt

I am always reluctant to buy a white shirt cos:

a) It is firstly white. So it is difficult to maintain. It is like a beautiful woman who is high maintenance.
b) I cannot give it to my maid to clean and have to have it dry cleaned.
c) when I wear it I have to make sure that I dont touch anything that will potentially stain... which inlcudes even watching carefully while getting into a taxi...

and despite such efforts somehow or the other that stubborn stain manages to find my crisp white shirt!!! and the lonegvity of a white shirt is only about 3 months for me... ofcourse it is more if I dont wear it at all ....

so imagine my surprise when a friend came wearing a crisp, clean, perfect white shirt and declared that it was 10 years old!!!! yes people 10 yearsssssss old!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!.... My eyes ofcourse popped and then I started asking incredulous questions-

Me: "you mean you are wearing it after 10 years?"

Friend: "no, I have been wearing it regularly"

Me: "Oh, you probably bleached it for it to appear so white"

Friend: "No never"

Me: "You probably wash it only with whites.. you see I have coloured clothes and hence...." (trying hard to justify my non white wardrobe)

Friend: "No. I just machine wash it"

Okkk by now I am ready to be swallowed by mother earth... I make one more last ditch effort..

Me (almost screaching): "You mean this white shirt has not got damaged at alll in these 10 years??"

Friend: "Actually there is one small damage..."....

Aha!!! I knew it!! I did a little twirl in my mind... Nobody can maintain a white shirt!!!!

Friend (totally unaware of the twril in my mind): "One button has got sightly chipped.."

Ok... Please swallow me earth...

Then I did the best that I could do ... I just accepted ... accepted the fact that I would not have a white shirt for more than 3 months (unless ofcourse I dont wear it at all)... accepted the fact that white is probably not meant for my colourful personality.... accepted the fact that Baby George is probably better at keeping his whites WHITE!!!!

Tom and Jerry...

Okk I have a new housemate.... a dirty, round little rat... and I am so repulsed by it that I dont even feel like naming it ... like I did with Bubli- the friendly pigeon outside my bathroom... now it is not like no other house has rats in them... the problem is when it comes to a Mumbai house it becomes crowded... for instance, in my house where I feel like I run into myself everynow and then, having a rat is a serious affront to my prvacy ....

so off I went this Sunday to buy all the rat eliminating paraphernalia.... so there was the fancy bubble trap and the rat poison.... all of which was positioned all over my house with the strong belief that it will work..... and as with most over confident actions, nothing worked!!!! the rat had dodged all the traps and gone straight for the crevices to hide...and mockingly started making noises almost saying "Ha ha. Catch me if you can". And at one juncture I drove the rat out of its hiding place and parallely ran for my life.... and both the rat and me went around in circles trying to dodge each other... at one point it was unclear as to who was chasing whom.......finally the rat broke the monotony of the chase by running behind the fridge and I ran away into the safety of the bedroom....

Now I am just irritated... Irritated cos the rat is infringing on my private space, cos I am scared of the rat and the rat is not scared of me, cos the rat just makes my lovely house appear dirty....

today I tried out a new system of catching the rat... hopefully when I reach back I will find the rat trapped...

Bargaining...Christy Style

This saturday when I went to visit my sister, Christy opened the door and greeted me "Hello Madam. What can I do for you?" I was totally perplexed and then realised that he was role playing. He was a shopkeeper and I was a customer who had just walked into the shop. So I played along.

Me: Hello... What do you have?

Christy: I have gold, silver, diamonds.

Me: Wow! Show me your silver.

Christy (handing me an aluminium plate): Here, take this silver plate.

Me: How much?

Christy: 10,000 rupees!

Me (pretending to be aghast): Nooooooooooo... I will you 100 rupees for it.

Christy: Ok. Take it.

well.... obviously my family is really not good at bargaining...

The woman who made me speechless....

Well since my last blog was on the film Guru, I thought I might as well continue with the same theme.... a day after watching Guru, Aishwarya and Abhishek announced their engagement.... it made it to the front pages of all newspapers... we had the royalty of bollywood marrying.... I was ofcourse excited about it....

and I thought back to how Ash was the one woman I was compared to since I was 23... no people I am not even close to Ash in the looks department ........ 23 is the age when arranged marriage proposals started pouring into my life...... so anytime I would express my opinion about the looks of a boy, my mom would turn around and ask "Do you think you look like Aishwarya Rai that you can be so choosy about looks?" and I would be rendered speechless by such a comparison... no I am not Aiswarya Rai and Aishwarya Rai is not me ...but where did I ever say that I am Aish Rai and hence I find the man not goodlooking? ........ well..... those are days of yore... my mother shut up finally when she saw Aishwarya Rai herself not doing too well in the love department ...until now that is......even if it is after marrying a tree....

and such constant comparisons always make me think- what would Ash Rai's mother tell Ash Rai herself if she was ever in a position like my mom? Who would she compare Ash to? She obviously cannot ask Aishwarya Rai herself "Do you think you look like Aishwarya Rai that you can be so choosy about looks?" "....perplexing question....

Anyways it is not a new thing that Ash Rai rendered people speechless with her beauty... in my case however it was for a totally totally different reason....

Review of GURU

Okkk.... it had to happen sometime.... since I love movies so much I had to start reviewing movies sometime or the other... so why not start with the latest movie in the market.... Guru.... and before you start reading this review please do not expect any deep insight and colourful language which are normally exhibited by the newspaper critics... This is just my perspective on the movie.... highlighting some of the things that I like, for the reasons I consider best... its all about ME, ME, ME!... okkk it is also about the movie...

Ok... So about GURU...

Named after the main character Gurukant Desai played brilliantly by Abhishek Bachan the film Guru interested me primarily because it was about the Ambani patriarch (despite strong claims to the contrary by the film makers and actors)....I wanted to know more about the man who built such a huge industrial empire in India with just 15000 in his pocket... who didnt have any business school degree and yet set up the monster industry that many of us are in some or the other associated with in our lives... how did he do it? was he scared? Did he think he would fail?? Did he feel lost and hopeless at times?

To a certain extent the film did satisfy my curiousity...

Unlike a typical hindi movie hero, the film shows the protagonist as one who is all wrong...he is ambitious, ruthless, user friendly, corrupt and wont stop at adopting any means to get to his end... yet he also has qualities that one loves in a person... for instance he is fearless- he doesnt fear retribution, doesnt fear humiliation, doesnt fear societal strictures nothing.... and he is totally confident about himself.... in a particular scene where his father tells him that business is not everybody's game and he wont succeed in it... the frame doesnot show any dejection or negativism in the young Gurubhai but shows a silent strength- one can almost read him saying "I am going to do it despite all this".... and I am sure many of us have at one point or the other told that to ourselves.. I have... and that is where the film reaches out to you... you see a common man like you on the screen and you want him to succeed....and like the hero in the film you want to see success and are not really concerned about the nitty gritty details about how the success comes .....

and helping him in his extraordinary climb are the ordinary people in his life ... his doubting father, helpful father in law, trusting brother in law, loyal munshi and friend etc who all play such a crucial role in his life yet do not dominate the screen beyond the need..... each of their characters are essayed with such smoothness that one doesnt particularly miss them when they are gone and neither does one want to see less of them in any scene... they are just perfect.....

The movie is also about the love between the husband and wife... the role of the wife is ofcourse played by Aishwarya Rai who is surprisingly restrained.... she plays a dutiful wife- a traditional woman whose world revolves around her Guru.... and while it had all ingredients of showing women as being the weaker sex, the movie does add some sort of romance to the concept of a dutiful wife... she is all about the calm in his life.... the one thing that stays constant.......

Certain scenes stand out particularly in my mind... the scene where Gurubhai asks the chairman of the enquiry commission to speak in hindi after the chairman waved them shut and continued with his spiel in english.... the wife explains on behalf of her husband "we are from the village. We can understand only hindi"...simple fact- powerful message..... and the scene where Gurubhai stands on the vacant plot of land with the blue print of his proposed factory and the rain comes down...you see a man on the cusp of victory.... and the scene where Guru cries for his friend who attempted suicide and says in the midst of his tears "You face is so ugly that I cry whenever I look at it"... a very reluctant human side to the otherwise ruthless Guru....

What the movie also attempts to do is in some way justify the ruthless means of this man.... the end justifies the means they say... and this is what probably will rankle with most watchers.... was he all that great if he did it all through underhand methods?? Should he not have had the decency to not do such things to get where he is? It is a debate that can go on and on.... the question in my mind really is -Would you rather have a Reliance in India or have none at all... I dont know whether the answer to that is easy.... did we pay a price for allowing Ambani to come up the way he did? We probably did in terms of raising the bar on corruption... but did the country benefit by getting employment for so many people? We probably did .... dont know what to choose...

Ofcourse the film is perfectly punctuated with good songs... my favourite one is the song introducing Aishwarya Rai.... and the one with Malaika is a catchy number as well.......

In the end the film achieves what it is supposed to .... it tells you a good story.... one that you want to hear over and over again..... afterall who can resist a rags to riches story??

More Updates about Baby George

As usual today morning I went to pay my respects to Baby George.... and as I entered the house I could hear Baby George yelping his heart out... and the maid was doing all she could to distract him... stroking him, holding him and shaking the toy that makes a noise ( I dont know what it is called).....and then Enter Baby George's Aunt.... I leapt up and called out "Baby George"... Baby George immediately stopped crying, looked up, fixed his gaze on me and then gave me the most amazing smile in the world..... and I swear he seemed to be telling me "hello...I am so glad you came Vava Aunty, but first I want to change out of my wet nappy".... and that is exactly what I did.... I changed his nappy and his small shirt and made him wear fresh clothes...and he was at peace again...

The thing about Baby George is he is happy when his tummy is full, when his stomach is not paining, when his nappy is dry and when he is given attention by his aunt (hehe).... and guess what? there are people at his beck and call doing exactly what he wants..... including me...

Follow Me...

Looks like the BMC (Mumbai Municipal Corporation) is indeed following me and deciding to undertake repairs on all the roads that I frequent....

It started off with the flyover next to my office which was shut for about 3 months .....effectively increasing my commute time by another 20 minutes.... then it was the very road that I live on - Hill Road!!.... always a busy road or as my friend calls it the "Hell Road", the BMC decided to take action on the road once a huge crater appeared due to a underground pipe burst.... so one side of the road was cordoned off completely for all commuters and it has been shut for more than 2 months now.... so instead of hawkers blocking the road, now we have yellow and black asbestos sheets blocking us.... at least with the hawkers one could shove them to one side or zig zag your way through the maze....while at the same time looking at the amazing collection of designer wear called "Prado", "Guchi" "Armany"..... ofcourse the hawkers made a come back during Christmas and put stalls on the newly dug up roads...probably the only time they realised they wont be disturbed by the police or the BMC officials since once a road is dug up it will be months before any officials come to check on it..... and now it is the road leading to my sister's place..... called Currey Road...most often the only thing that is currying there is traffic jams but it is a shorter route from my sister's place to my office.... and now that the road has been dug up it forces me to go through the busier option of Elphinston Station road..... ofcourse this is in addition to the occassional shut downs at Mahim junction which are sometimes due to repairs, sometimes due to festivals and sometimes due to the number of people just deciding to leave home at the same time.....

So this what I have to say to BMC...STOP FOLLOWING ME!!!

The story of an aunt flying the kite

Next time anybody abuses me asking me to go fly a kite I will have a very honest reply... I am really not that good at it..... so the story goes like this....

I was all enthused about buying christy a kite after reading the story of kiterunner...ofcourse in that book some amount of sadness is associated with kites...but I was instantly transported to my childhood....where all the kids would come out and each would run with the kite in their hands...and I dont know whether it was the country of Oman that made a difference or whether it was my mom but my kite would actually fly really high...I remember once it flew so high that after a point we could not see it.... so as you can understand I have only happy memories as far as kite flying is concerned...

now fast forward about 20 years and I am at my wits end trying to fly a kite...it was the first time for Christy as well so I was really determined not to disappoint him... so I ran with the kite...except that the kite would rise about 3 metres and go around in circles and come crashing down.... and it happened so many times that poor christy went off to play in the park crest fallen feeling pretty sure that his aunt was just no good at it.... it was then that I decided to do the next best thing... ask for help.... so I enlisted the help of 3 guards in the building .... who did some heavy duty measuring and tying the kite....after which the kite flew the way it was always meant to fly.... up, up and away... and Christy came running from the park seeing his kite flying so high.... and soon insisted on taking the strings himself.... The sheer joy on his face was a sight worth seeing..... ofcourse as quick as it went up it also came down...but what the heck! I looked good in front of christy....

Baby George was ofcourse sleeping through this..... he had only slept till 9 in the morning and hence was too sleepy .... he however did come down with his mom to watch the desperate attempts of his aunt to fly a kite.... and after all the kite flying I was tired myself.... and I went and slept right next to him.... and then Baby George woke me up...with his gurgling and soft cries.... that kid can actually make enough noise to wake up people..... and soon it was about his feed and burping....

A Saturday well spent.... Christy flew a kite for the first time....I cut my finger and in the process relived a part of my childhood through christy.... and hopefully in another 6 years I will be flying a kite for Baby George.... and once again the sheer joy on his face would make my day....

Baby George Ko Gussa Kyun Aata Hai? (Translation: Why does Baby George get angry?)

Updates about Baby George:

Baby George can now see things... so now he turn 180 degree following Christy or my sister.... and also smiles (a lot!!!) whenever he sees me...for instance he raised his hands nudging me to pick him up when I went near him.... ofcourse I teased by saying "ok, Bye" and would duck... and Baby George would let out a muted cry in disappointment...

Baby George also wants to do things... fast .... for instance he wants to sit up and see the world... so he nudges my sister to "seat him up" when she picks him up..and smiles broadly when she does... and he also wants to roll over to the other side ... and yelps when he is unable to do so.... ofcourse the good samaritan that I am, I help him a bit and push him over to the other side sometimes...

Baby George also gets angry.... especially when the fan is switched on.... he hates the fan being siwtched on and even stops drinking milk till my sister runs along and switches it off .... the kid is one obstinate kid.... and he also hates the bottle.... he refuses to drink milk from the bottle... my sister is hoping against hope that he will get over that soon..

Baby George is already attached to Christy... he sleeps when Christy strokes him to sleep... also loves listening to stories by Christy..... ofcourse Christy being Christy he also scares the poor Baby George.... so his admiration is intermixed with getting scared I think.....

Baby George does a lot of things that I cant describe... for instance I think he cycles and drives a car when lying down on his back.... his hands are always moving about in the "10 'o' clock and 2 'o' clock " position...and his legs are always cylcing....

Well he is one helluva of a busy kid!!!

Pray why not?

The one thing that I get really irritated about (and sometimes even find amusing) is when people who live abroad come to India and look at it as if it is like SOOOOOO Backward.... and this includes even those Indians who have lived in India all their childhood, gone abroad and now visit India for short breaks.... "Is the water safe to drink?" "Can we eat the fruits we buy from the market?" and the most ridiculous one ever was "Can we take a bath in Indian water?"

I have often vacillated between being kind to these people to sometimes getting into arguments with some people on these issues.... India has its problems but how is it that Indians have been voted one of the happiest set of people in the world? And in any case these are problems handed down to us by the whites... so its ok that we take more than 50 years to mitigate the effects of 300 years of bad white rule.... I would argue and argue and argue....

But of late I have decided to review my arguments.. no I still dont believe it is ok for people to visit our country and talk bad about it.... but can I honestly look at my country and say that people have a good life here.... Can I honestly blame those people who live in India all their childhood and then go abroad lured by the prospects of a better life??

To be honest to some extent I think they have made a wise decision..... should I love my country more or should I love myself more?? What is wrong with wanting a better life?? True I will be a second class citizen in a foreign country but am I any better here?? Wont I get better rights abroad as a second class citizen than in my own country where I am a first class citizen? My friend Devika and I had a discussion recently where we both agreed that in many ways life in India is restrictive .... especially for a person who really wants to many things with his/her life and not necessarily conform and go through the motions of marriage, child bearing and finally retirement.... and the truth is that in many ways the life of an average Indian is tempered with worries- worries about money, about jobs, marriage, raising kids etc etc.... and you spent your life sorting out all these issues and then you are actually too old to enjoy life anyways....

and when I read about how 30 children went missing over two years with the police doing nothing about it and about how it took the entire country and the media to convict one murderer in the Jessica Lall case, and about how there is no way an average unconnected, non influential person can get justice in India ... I wonder What am I fighting for? Can I deny the fact that life in India is actually not a bed of roses?

I do believe things will get better in India but it will come slowly.... till then what arguments do I have against the obvious problems India has?

Okk the New Year can be better...

Okk... so my new year has not really got off to a rocking start.... and it has only been 5 days!!!... and worse I have forgotten the art of cracking a good joke.... so this is what happened...

I heard this really interesting incident where a friend went to meet the project manager and the manager of a company on work in Ahmedabad.... so the introductions went something like this:

Project Manager: Hi, I am Mr. Pani

Manager: Hi, I am Mr. Puri.

Got it? PaniPuri? ha hahah.... anyways I laughed my head out at this .... and promptly made devious plans to crack the joke to someone in office...and soon scouted around for a bakhra.... and found it in my colleague P... who very reluctantly agreed to listen to my joke....... so I rattled off the particular incident.... the only thing is- I introduced Mr. Puri first !! so my colleague just didnt get the joke.... I scrambled out of the situation clutching my head for failing to tell a joke properly...........

Arghhhhhh!!! Could it be any worse???...

Anyways made it up by telling the joke properly to Baby Tomato.... who found extremely engrossing (as he kept staring at my face) and finally smiled (after a lot of tickling and antics).... guess I have found my actual bakhra ....until he grows up and realises that his aunt is really a bad story teller.......

Second Chances

Ever since the begining of this year (ofcourse it has been only a day) I have been thinking about the concept of second chances.... second chance at anything- at life, at friendships, at relationships, at marriages, at jobs.... Should there always be a second chance?

There are many instances in ones life when you are either asking for a second chance or being asked for a second chance.... personally I have often faced situations where people have behaved in quite the wrong way with me and then come back asking for a second chance .... to rebuild friendships and start over again.... and I have been pretty strict about it all the time... no second chances with my trust.... once gone, it is stays there- GONE.... and I have moved on without a second thought....

I am baffled by the questoin of whether this is the right approach.... What if the second time round there is better understanding? There is more respect? in short there is a better relationship? Am I forgoing all just cos I believe in no second chances? After all it is not like one comes into this world with a manual on what not to do... and quite often we are all given a second chance sometime or in some form in life....our parents are always giving us second chances... and God does not say "I already gave you a relationship and you failed at it.. so no second chances for you"...

After all this rumination, would I give a second chance? I am not sure I am that forgiving yet... at the same time I am not sure whether I am that cruel yet.... I guess my decision will be based on the genuiness of the person... and perhaps on my feelings for that person...All I can hope is when people ask for a second chance they understand the value of that chance....

Gosh this is a serious blog on the second day of the year.... what happened to the "funny" in me???

Some more resolutions

- Be more environmentally concious

- Be sensible with money

- Be aware

- Reinvent things as much as possible

- Discover more yoga

- Take a holiday by the beach

New Year

You know I am bored with the barrage of "Happy New Year" messages I got.... without any disrespect to them or their well meaning wishes, I feel we need to find a new way to wish people new year... something like "Have a Plentiful Year!" or "Let there be world peace this year"... okkk I am just not capturing the essence of it but you guys get the drift right??.... The bland "Happy New year" is soooo out....

I never make new year resolutions .... rather if I do make them I never stick to them... but this year my first resolution is to make new year resolutions and stick to them!!!! So a few of them are:

a) Just eat right and exercise well... increase my fitness and also in the process get a better looking figure

b) Read More

c) Love more

d) Get involved in some good causes.... in any small way...

e) Teach Christy to read books.....and rather than appearing as the aunt who whisks him away to fun places appear strict and stern....

f) Travel sensibly

g) Cultivate friendships...

h) Write More

i) Be more meticulous and spot the mistakes in the ampersands and commas

etc etc...

And after all this I hope this year is an interesting, bearable, stable one.....

End of the year

How do I categorise 2006? Can I call it the year of cathartic change?? or the year of absolute abnormality? or a mixed year- with equal share of ups and downs?

Whatever it is this year has been an interesting year... I have had some of my worst moments in this year...but also had some of the best moments which will be enshrined in my memory as being extremely special.... my life changed in many ways- some changes I never expected would happen, some changes that I had hoped would happen and did, some changes that I didnt want but did happen....In my final opinion- this year is a mixed year...

This is the year I met Baby Tomato a.k.a. Baby George on a perfect Sunday... Baby George spoiled mine and my sister's well laid plans to watch Lage Raho Munnabhai by coming before the scheduled arrival time .... I was the first person to hold Baby George since his arrival in the world and I was also the first person who burped him after his first feed..... the advantage? Baby George smiles at me more than he does at other people.... Truly special .... the disadvantage? since I hold him more he also pukes out his milk on me ....so I end up going to office smelling like baby milk....

This was also the year of defining certain relationships in my life....of redifining certain friendships.... some went out and some probably are on their way out of my life... but ever grateful for their presence in my life till now... I also made new friends this year.... showing me that life is full of pleasant surprises.... and ofcourse some good people continued to give me support and love through the year.... Thankyou for that....

Professionally I changed course last year and the same continued this year at a new place after ELP.....it has been a challenging experience ...Due to ELP this was one of the most stressful years professionally.... a bad boss is never easy to adjust to much less come out unaffected.... I hope I never have to go through that experience ever again in my life... I also hope I never become that kind of a boss any day........

One never knows what to expect but one always hopes for the best.... so likewise I end this year's blog by saying "May you live in interesting times".....

Execution

There comes a day in every lawyer's lfe called the "execution day".... the day when the documents are finally signed by all the parties......

that day frinally arrives after days (or sometimes years) of haggling by both the sides, of lawyers calling each other names, of clients yelling at the lawyers saying "give it to me in the next one minute otherwise my company will fold up!", of 15,000 versions of documents going out and an equal number of meetings and negotiations between the parties..... most often murphy's law kicks in also at the last minutes and everything goes wrong... from the printer that stops working to the office peon who just disappeared into thin air... everything goes wrong!!! and while one is typing out the words, another one prints out the documents...

and finally after all the blood of the lawyers have been expended on getting the documents into perfection (including checking the ampersand and the comas), the documents are signed by all the VIPs who actually dont have a clue as to what and why they are signing those documents..... There is a large ceremony where all the parties shake hands and behave as if the days of acrimonious verbal exchange never took place .... and which finally concludes in a party in a five star hotel....

and finally when it is all over the actual execution begins... of the lawyer that is.... "there is a comma missing in page 34", "there is grammatical error on page 23' or even "there is a formatting error and (a) is now coming after (b)"... and most often while you want to just scream asking them to see the big picture your professionalism demands that you take note of all this politely and tell them " Yes Sir, That will be done immediately" while all the time thinking "Go Fly a Kite and while doing so please fall off a cliff"


So at the end of the "execution day" you end up feeling "executed"- comma by comma, word by word, ampersand by ampersand....

I want curd rice!!!!!

Now anybody who knows me also knows that I love food..... ok it shows that I love food....

but if there is any such thing as comfort food, it would have to be curd rice for me.... Yes just plain simple curd rice....I can eat that and feel like I am back on familiar territory.....feeling of reaching home.... and this feeling is absolutely unfounded cos nobody in Kerala would even consider making curd rice unless someone is sick or if it was a war like situation... but I just love curd rice.... it would easily be my first choice in any restaurant... mix it with some nice yummy mallu chicken cury or even some nice spicy panner dish and its pure heavennnn!!!!!

so coming to the point of this blog....can somebody give me some curd rice??? Pleaseeeee....

We didnt start the fire...

There are days when I just get pissed off with the world... for everything that is wrong with it.... for everything that needs to be righted and is not ..... for everybody (including me) who doesnt or chooses not to do anything.... and today is one of those days.... so a few of the things I hate are:


- I hate seeing children beg on the streets, especially girl children. ... one of the most distressing sights in mumbai for me was the sight of a naked girl child walking from car to car begging and shivering..... While I laud the passing of the Child Labour prohibition act, I still dont know which evil I prefer ... since I have no option but to choose between the two... one gives a kid and probably his family some source of income but is exploitative.... but without at least that and with no option for a decent enough education you are forced to beg on the streets. what do I support???

- I hate the fact that rape is considered as retributive tool in our society. "oh he pissed you off? Lets go rape his sister and teach him a lesson"... in one popular malayalam movie the hero looks at the sleeping heroine and asks himself - "shall I just do a rape ?".. as if it is just an option that is waiting to be exercise by men..........It was supposed to be funny and romantic (ofcourse they fall in love later. duh!) ..... sorry but I dont see any humour in making women look so weak and vulnerable...

- I hate the fact that we dont do enough to protect our environment.... and this where I think I fail miserably.... I am so clueless about what to do to contribute my two bits to this cause... other than ofcourse occassionally puting in recycled paper into the office printer..... worse I dont even know how I am impacting the environment with my behaviour....

- I hate the fact that justice in India is sooooooo difficult..... I dread the day when I have to fight a legal battle... yes, me a lawyer is saying that.... I hate the fact that nothing is reliable anymore.... I hate the fact that most Indians go through life not having hope in such situations......

- I hate the fact that good takes so much longer to get adequately recognised... that sometimes the good gets sidelined and is most often exploited....

- I hate the fact that I have to watch my back nowadays with even "friends".... that it has become so difficult to have a normal conversation without being judged....

- I hate the fact that Bush got reelected.... I hate it more that it impacts an Indian girl sitting in Mumbai... unfortunately, Americans rule ..... At least for now, that is..... I hate it even more that a western approval is more important to us than our own....

- I hate the fact that women dont know their value yet..... independent of a man that is... sorry this is not a feminist rant- just call it a humanist rant..... I just want women to realise their value for themselves.... so that they can demand more respect from society...

- I hate the fact that female foeticide is still prevalent in our country

- I hate the fact that I dont say "I love you" enough to the people I love....

Something's gotta give....

My kind of Superhero

Apparently I am meant to be a superhero called Green Lantern!! Btw, does anybody know this guy??


You are Green Lantern


Green Lantern
70%
Superman
65%
Hulk
65%
Wonder Woman
62%
The Flash
60%
Robin
57%
Supergirl
52%
Spider-Man
45%
Iron Man
35%
Batman
15%
Catwoman
10%
Hot-headed. You have strong will power and a good imagination.

My parents left this morning for Kerala... after one month and a week in mumbai... during which time I am sure they would have wondered about a hundred times why I like this city... I dont blame them also... this city is too chaotic, too crazy, too busy, too dirty, too awake for new comers... but this city has a soul.... a soul which is not defined by religion or region- despite the best efforts of some political organisations .... I love that..

I feel kinda of sad that my parents have left..... it was nice to have mom and dad in the house .... nice to have warm food waiting for me when I reached home... ofcourse they were alarmed at how late I travel in mumbai ..... and even more alarmed that I dont double lock my house (yes that I must do)....

it was especially nice to take them around mumbai... .and ofcourse taking them to the new eating joints... so in a nut shell they:

- hated Kobe's ("too much of food!"),
- loved McDonalds ("reminds us of the time we first ate McDonalds way back in 1987"),
- loved Gelato icecream ("dont think this will come to Kerala for a while, dont you think?"),
- loved Atria Mall ("no wonder people are so happy in Mumbai"),
- tased momos ("you mean it is just steamed chicken? "),
- disapproved of Italian food ("its good once in a while but is very boring"),
- wondered why it was so difficult to get normal coffee ("what is this coffee called "chino'?) (a shortform for cappuchino).....
- wondered whether "world space" would have a 24/7 radio station belting out religious christian songs ("you must listen to them")
- loved my new office ("it looks like a cheerful place")

It was also a time for their grandchildren to play with them... christy loves guests in the house and cried everyday when they used to leave my sister's house.... Baby tomato ofcourse was too buy sleeping and crying for milk.... and the highlight of their trip was when all of us, my sister, a highly energetic Christy, a bundled up Baby tomato, my parents and me went to our favourite place Atria Mall.... Just few hours of family bliss.... after which the alarm bell rang i.e. Baby Tomato woke up and demanded milk....

Well... I am trying to fill the silence in my house by listening to world space... no no it does not have a station for devotional christian songs... I checked before buying ... heheh

Lovingly yours

Christy wants cotton candy by afternoon... I lovingly agreed...


I want to go to the island of Tonga... Anybody wants to lovingly agree?? hehe....

Scholarships and the works

"Dont have such high hopes" is all my dad said to me when I broached the subject of me applying for scholarships to study abroad... well to be honest I didnt anyways have any high hopes other than the constant encouragement of friends ... but yet I was determined to try my best for it before I gave up.... which basically angered my parents as in their opinion I was working on something unachievable when I could use that time constructively on choosing a nice christian, mallu boy ........

Never one to listen to my parents I slugged on at the applications.... and to this day I consider it to be one of the most heart wrenching experiences of my life.....I applied for two years..... it is never easy to take rejection in any form... worse when they tell you that "you are a fine candidate but we really dont think you are as great as you think you are"...... one scholarship interview I remember particularly when I was told "you sit in an AC office and you want to change the world?".... gosh those days I think I lived on only hope, watching "friends" and hanging on each words of encouragement from my ever hopeful friends.... at times I did feel like giving up all hope but as always there would be something in me that would make hope float....

and finally when I did get that final decision from the British Council about having been awarded the scholarship I think in some ways it was a celebration of me and my friends... me for not having given up and my friends who actually never let me believe otherwise... and today while giving everyone advice on scholarships and interview I maintain one thing- never believe anything the world tells you about yourself.... ofcourse there will be people who are not encouraging.... one of my friends (yes one of those toxic kinds) actually said "I am not sure you fit the profile of a scholar"... well... did Gandhi look like a freedom fighter??

Finally it is important to also state that I dont approach each task the way I approached the scholarship process... I choose the battles I want to fight for.... so if today some people see me as being a bit of a wanderer it is cos I am pciking the right battles for me to put my heart, soul, mind, analysis, strategy, time into.... I am just made that way....

Monkeying around

Today as i was standing on the very busy hill road waiting to cross over to the other side I noticed someone else waiting to cross the road with me... a monkey!!! Yes you read it right...

the monkey actually came out from the lane of my building walking right upto the end and was waiting for an opening on the road to cross ..... and he looked at both sides of the road and made a dash for the other side when the bus delayed just a little bit in picking up speed.... just like humans.... even I merrily ran after the monkey relieved that someone else had spotted the opportunity right on time...

But isnt it strange that you get to cross the road with a monkey?? It almost makes Mumbai look a little more nature friendly than the concrete jungle that it is .....

btw... I might have to cross the road once again with the monkey... what should I name him?? Coco Banana?? hehe..

Television friendly

When did the television become my best friend?? I have no idea... as kids we would watch TV whenever we were forced to stay inside... and my parents would let us also since that meant we were out of their hair for a while...

When I came back to India from the Gulf, since there was not much the Doordarshan had to offer, my TV viewing was ofcourse limited.. other than ofcourse Ramayan, Mahabharata and yes, Fauji... Law School.. well lets just say that I was extremely busy to watch tv..

The TV actually made a come back into my life only after I started working... that was also the time the Star TV network burst into India... soon there were shows, movies, songs at your finger tips... and to relax i would just switch on the tv.... and now switching on the tv is what I do first when I enter home.... and to be honest I find it relaxing... it takes me to parts of the world I cant travel to.. meet people I cant possibly meet in a life time.... live a life that I cant afford ..... to put it simply it helps me live my fantasies out a little...

why am I saying all this??

Cos most recently I was asked not to buy any more books cos i dont let up on watching tv.... and while I tried protesting, after considerable thot I knew the acccusation was absolutely right..... and it suddenly made me feel bad.....no no.. I am soooooo glad I was told this... but I started thinking about how much I have changed and how i need to change some comfortable yet unappealing habits of mine... I need to change fast people.... otherwise baby tomato would be more well read than me soon....

Well the other thing is....when I am not living inside the TV, I also blog ....

Dad and his Professional Integrity

My dad is a person I have admired since I was a child... although he is not aware of it and mostly thinks I fight with him cos I dont respect him... but truth be told I am in awe of my dad...

there are many reasons why I admire my dad ... first one being that my dad struggled his way in life... he was born to a priest (not a very well paying profession but still one of the noble ones at that time) in a small little village in Kerala.... in true Ab Lincoln style my dad sat (not exactly under a street lamp cos his village didnt have streets forget street lamps), near a lantern to study and walked 6 kms to his school everyday.... and no people, there were no school bueses those days...... His father passed away when he was 13... since then my dad's family struggled to run the household while at the same time making sure the kids in the family got a good education ... despite such odds my dad topped every exam he sat for including his medical examinations....

The second reason I admire him so much is cos of the great sacrifice he made for my grandfather.... apparently before passing away my grandfather requested his children to each take up one profession... he wanted one to become a teacher, the other to become a civil servant and my dad to become a doctor.... and I have heard from my grandmother that my dad was meant to be a civil servant... he apparently nursed an ambition to work with Jawaharlal Nehru including even joining politics..... and when his father passed away he just blindly decided to follow his father's wishes and become a doctor.... and he is the best doctor i have seen!!! truly....

Given the default profession he chose, my dad is so committed to learning the latest techniques of his field... he will know the latest developments in his field .... he subscribes to each medical magazines and reads them religiously.... and on his visit to Mumbai, all my dad wanted to shop for was medical books!!!! I was surprised at how graciously he had accepted his fate and just went about mastering his profession....

The third reason I admire him so much is cos he really loves his kids.... and while this may not be true, I think he really loves me the most... he he.... that speaks volumes for him I guess... cos my sister does not think she is loved any less.... and he ofcourse had expectations from us as kids... and most often I would start studying only when my dad would show his total disappointment in me.... and after topping the class for a year I would go back to my wayward ways.... he wanted me to become a civil servant but ended up accepting and being proud of me being a lawyer..... and today whenever he writes me a letter he always makes sure that he writes, "Alice George-B.A. LL.B from National Law School of India University and Masters from London School of Economics"... I find that every cute as do some of my friends...

In many ways I am like my dad.... I wanted to join politics at some point, even nursing an ambition to work with the Prime Minister (still hold on to that ambition)... I have learned many aspects of life from him including how to always be fair in my dealings with people... and while sometimes I question him as to why he taught me such principles when others unfailingly flout it, I still know that what he told me was the right thing....

Anyways, he is off to do some medical book shopping now ....

If wishes were horses

No... I dont want a horse... but dont you sometimes have crazy wishes??

For instance dont you wish;

a) you were thinner? Or fatter (for some people)?

b) you were so rich that you went to work only to satisfy your intellectual needs?

d) you won a lottery

e) your hair was naturally shiny and always stayed in place when you were out

f) that you could write a book and also win the booker for that?

g) that you could be superwoman or superman for a day?

h) your window overlooked the sea?

i) you were always upgraded to business class while flying?

j) that ice cream was actually non fattening?


Well..if wishes were horses.... but no harm in dreaming right? ....

Fever and a cold

I have been waylaid today due to a bad cold and a on again off again fever.... I opted not to go into office as the AC would definitely not be helpful... and whil e sitting at home what is one to do other than think about the mundane inane things of life..

The first one for instane was whether I should blog anonymously... now I never even considered it an option as I was never sure whether there would be any readers to my blog... so I quite confident that I would not get caught by any of the people I know personally .... ofcourse that changed esp since I started directing everyone to my blog to get the latest on my life... I found it extremely convenient to do that instead of actually relating stories to people... well I guess now it is too late for me to even consider that as an option... everyone knows me.. I am out there now ... and everyone is welcome to criticise me...

The second inane thot that entered my brain was ofcourse guilt.... guilt at not having gone to office for a day... I always feel like I am being irresponsible by not dragging myself to the office even if I have a bad cold and fever... I dont know when and where I became like this but I recognise it as a problem now... I just love the feel of working all the time... well not all the time but yes I do feel bad when I have pending work in office and dont finish... what is wrong with me??? ....

and today cos of my cold I could not go and kiss baby tomato... apparently he was crying all day cos I didnt come and meet him... how sweet...

The 5 a.m paratha

"Mumbai was under seige... Tension had permeated the entire city as news of the riots spread like wild fire.... Office goers wondered whether their families were safe and made frantic calls asking them not to step outside..... I was caught in the midst of this chaos with two of my office colleagues.... I was not so worried about my family as my parents were safe in my sisters house... however a chaos is never easy and slowly my colleagues and I made our way through the streets ... treading carefully and cautiously, not knowing when and where the next danger would come from.... all of a sudden the lights went off.... The streets were plunged into darkness...darkness brought with it its favourite bedfellow- pandemonium ... kids crying, women shrieking, men screaming..... I grabbed onto my colleagues hand in fright - afraid to loose the one familiar face in the sea of people....afraid that I might not see the next day... when all of a sudden I caught sight of my parents making their way through the crowded chaotic streets in search of me... A rush of relief came over- i suddenly felt protected .... I ran to my equally relieved parents.... I was finally home..."

And soon after that I woke up with a start...It was 4:30 in the morning and the world was quiet... the dream was still vivid in my brain ..... I went and hugged my mom who was sleeping peacefully probably dreaming about a lazy Sunday.... I lay down next to her like I used to when I was a child, before the weirdness and issues of youth crept into our relationship... I felt safe, secure, peaceful... I was home....

Ofcourse the real life chaos started soon therafter... my mom kicked me out of bed saying I was disturbing her... And I went off into the kitchen to make paratha .... at 5 a.m. in the morning.... Hearing the chaos in the kitchen my mom woke up .... and that is how a mom and daughter sat together peacefully relishing the 5 a.m. paratha..... Ahh.. Sunday is here...

P.S. Btw, Jubs, the colleague I saw in my dream was you... funny huh?