Incredible India - Wagah Border!

Incredible India - Delhi!

Tuesday, October 18, 2011

So now Team Anna is going to control our foreign policy as well??? Wow....

lots of things happening in life... some good, some crazy, some really crazy....

So Christy and Baby George called me up.... they were prodded by my sister to congratulate me.... Christy was perfect...except he didnt know what he was congratulating me for... and Baby George started off grand... "Congra......" he grandly said...and then he let it trail off having forgotten what he was supposed to say to me....

And then both of them forgot to wish me on my bday..... but Baby George was highly enthusiastic and screamed Happy Bday!!!... my sister was surprised and asked him who he was wishing.... after a little doubt he clarified.. "Vava aunty"... yayay.... that made my day....

Somethings in life are indeed free and more precious....

I miss my nephews....

There are just some people who will always remain where they are....

Hi World... I have been missing in action for a while... well many reasons for it... some good some bad... all in all, zero sum game...

one of the things I dislike is to go for formal parties where everyone is "smoozing" around...you know the type of party where there is a lot of air kissing and no meaningful conversation.... it is about everything and nothing at the same time.... almost without fail the conversation starts with 'oh the markets have been brutal today'...... which most certainly makes me scramble to safer pastures... not for anything but the fact that it is such a boring topic to discuss at night.... but that is the pitfall of a corporate life... it is all about externalities... the show and show off of it....

In other news I am actually worried about this government... I mean I believe in the policies of the Congress party.. and think that Congress is the only viable option right now... but the way the Government is scrambling from one crisis to another is really worrying..... it seems as if the Government does not have a head... it is moving all around in the hope of finding its head.... I am really worried... will this bring back communal forces in our country??? will this boost the support for BJP?? I sure hope not..... as I keep saying.. given a choice between a corrupt but trying not to be government and a government which sponsored killings... I would very happily choose the former.... to think the BJP is going hammer and tongs at this government when its own stable is far from clean... and added to that they fete Modi as if he is the answer to all our prayers.... yes, he might be a good administrator ... but that does not make good the wrong he connivived to do in Gujarat... the fact that he advised the Government machinery to keep quiet when law and order was at its worst is a sign of an oppportunist government ... not a good government....

Few reasons why I hope Modi will never make it to national stage..... first off, he does not have global appeal... can you imagine Modi being acceptable to a group of malayalis? or him understanding what Kerala wants... Modi appears too much of a Gujarati...he keep extolling the vitues of Gujarat and how much progress there is... but the fact of the matter is that Modi already had a good thing going when he started out... he inherited a state which had surplus and a business community which was good at making money.... would he have the same success rate if he were to be given a state like Sikkim... that is the challenge.... and that requires a lot of knowledge about India... which I genuinely dont find Modi having right now... and finally, the blot of the riots will never leave Modi... he is always going to be the person who ensured that helpless women and men were killed by certain miscreants only because it suited him politically... I cannot forgive a man who did that... I sure hope India never does... if he were to become PM, then like the British would say "God save the country"....

It actually works!

I am sorry

One of the recent incidents in my life opened my eyes to how prejudiced I am even though I put up a facade ....

It was a tough negotiation that I had to attend... for a personal matter...and hence didnt have all the confidence that comes with knowledge of law... it was for a purely personal matter and I knew the other side was going to negotiate hard... I checked around... and I was told by several "experienced" people that I should not go alone... why???... "cos you are a woman" they lamented.... so? ... "nobody would take you seriously then"....ok... "you should go with a man - optically that will make the other side feel that you cant be taken for a ride"...

I started asking for some "male" presence to take along for my meeting... I pleaded with my cousin, my friends and every conceivable trustworthy male.... since it was last minute many were unable to attend..... I was distraught.... and scared.... what if I am not able to handle myself....what if the other side chews me up and spits me out..... and looks at me and says "ha, you, a woman, could even think of speaking like this?"... and I would walk away with tears flowing... yes, I am very bollywood in my thinking...

Till a (male) friend asked me.... you are a lawyer in the top law firm of the country... you do this for a living... and you are scared of negotiating??? and that too in Mumbai??? Who told you such nonsense...

And now comes the time for me to say sorry.... Sorry that I believed people who sought to scare me ... who sought to make me believe that I would be handicapped if I am a woman....that I am not as good as a man even if I am more educated ....

I am sorry God for not believing what you have created... for not believing in the talent that you have given me... for undervaluing me..... Really Sorry....

It is sad but true that sometime people who are closest to you are likely to be most jealous of you....

I sometimes get irritated with questions... some questions just make me want to throw the candle stick (if it is nearby) at the person....some of these questions are:

a. Where are you going?
b. Who are you going out with?
c. How much do you earn?
d. Whose party are you going for?

Everybody loves a sacrifice

Its amazing how people in this country loves a sacrifice... take Mahatma for instance... he developed a cult status on account of his many fasts.... and then there was the supreme sacrifice made by Sonia Gandhi when she declined the PM post... well I would have thot it was politically astute for her to do that ... but people hailed her as the next Mahatma... and then there is the latest - Anna... his sacrifice of food has set affluter a million shouts ... and people are ready to die to ensure that this mans sacrifice is not in vain...

What is it with India and sacrifice?? an individual is elevated only if there is a sacrifice...

Hazare ki hazaron kwaeishein aisi .... Seriously will the demands never stop?

Ohhhhh my world!!! What in the bl$#@% hell is happening... the whole country is going crazy about this "Anna fast"..... and slamming the government for showing the undemocractic side... let me put some facts straight...

a. Anna was not restricted from protesting... he was restricting from attempting suicide... now in a democracy every government has the right to stop any activity if that will lead to mass hysteria... and unproductive disruption....

b. Anna and team were given the right to give their view point... their demand was for a joint committee to draft the bill... which the Government honored... and took their view point... now why are the demands increasing...

c. Once you have given your view point then leave it to the highest authority in the country, i.e. Parliament, to decide on the law... why highest you ask? because you and I voted for such a body.... and if you dont trust the very body that you voted for then please change it....

d. Is it democracy to demand that only your draft is right....if 10,000 people out of a billion people say it in a concerted manner, does that mean it is right??? So if I dont listen to your demand, then you force me to meet your demands by fasting??? Is that democracy?? To force me to do what you want?? who is being autocratic here???

e. What is Anna's cause?? Is it crusade against Corruption?? if so the whole country is one on this... but if your movement is against the government then sorry nobody is behind you... Anna fighting against the Government is like India fighting against itself...

f. Lastly, the opposition has conjured up images of emergency.. .and called it the second freedom movement... pleaseeee... freedom from what?? freedom from the Parliament which is sitting in session for you?? freedom from the very people you have voted??? this is not some alien force that you are fighting against... the Government is government of the people, by the people, for the people.... and if you dont like it change it next year...

Why are we confusing issues??? Corruption must go... but the Parliament must not.... Anna, Manmohan, Sonia, Advani will all go... what will and should remain is the Parliament....

There is something so disturbing about finding an alien thing in your backyard... so as much as there was expectation that oil would flow into Mumbai today I saw it live and felt completely disgusted..... it has reached the shores and honestly I didnt see any official machinery around to prevent it...

As they say... this is probably the best India can do ... I mean in the middle of crimes, 2G scams, polticians who have to be protected where would the officials be bothere about protecting the environment.....

To think, a city as big and rich like Mumbai faces this threat... what hope is there for other cities....

London burning... me hurting...

Such is life....

Watched The Great Gambler - an old AB film which is my latest craze... The man had charisma... But no matter what this movie was completeley stupid... It had good locales, songs, sex appeal etc... And in some way inadequate for me since it didn't show mumbai... Which is what I love abt the old movies... It shows old mumbai ...

The whole movie is turned on the fact that certain people are after a highly confidential state secret... Which turns out to be nothing more than a technology which is useful to protect the coast line.... The technology apparently detects enemy ships and before the enemy ships reacg the coast, it is burnt from a distance...

Wow... I wish our police had watched this movie before - at least the constant stream of ships getting docked at Juhu involuntarily would be detected early...

Hugh Jackman.... Delicious at any age.... in any form....

At least some things in life are mind numbingly good to look at ......

The stock exchange always lets me down.... Whenever I expect from my investment is rarely given when I expect it.... Infact when I am least expecting a return the stock exchange surprises me.... And gives me more than I expected...

Can we say the same about our investments in human relationships?
Afterall as with stocks we are also taking a chance on each of our relationships
... We really can't foretell whether the relationship will bear any dividend or not... And whether ur investment is going to be appreciated or whether it will sink....

I guess that is the thing with investments - be it the stock market or personal relationships.... There is always potential to be surprised....you never know which relationship is going to giving you the dividend... Just when you least expect it....

Are we sexist or what????

"Pak Bomb lands in India" screamed the headlines.... well not an actual bomb .... it was a back handed compliment to Rabbani Khar, the young attractive foreign minister of Pakistan..... and then Headlines Today interviewed her ... where the foreign editor actually asked her... "what is your priority? Is it family, foreign office or polo??"!!!!! Would this question have been asked if the foreign minister was a man with 10 kids at home??? Sir, what is your priority? Is it the 10 kids at home or the fragile Indo - Pak relations?? And what did the interviewer expect her to answer... No no.. I am the foreign minister in name only... I actually represent my husband and only give time to Indo - Pak relations when my kids are asleep at 9 p.m....

Seriously India.... grow up....

On the other hand I did like the headline of Pak Bomb lands in India.... wonder why no such headlines are screaming out when Karzai lands in Delhi.. Afghan Bomb lands in Delhi.... perhaps that is because bombs land in Afghanistan and not from Afghanistan....

Prisoner of ones own device

So one of the outcomes of the robbery in my house is that I have set up a ultra crazy alarm system in my house.... so everynight I am supposed to switch on, go to sleep soundly and when you wake up you switch off the alarm system and proceed with your day as it is...

Now for the catch... things do turn crazy if you forget to switch it off when you wake up.... so there was the minor incident in my house.... where I woke up in the middle of the night and sought to grab a glass of water.... only to be "alarmed" back into my bedroom.... I screamed my way back to the bedroom....

I finally came out only after I had switched off the alarm from behind the door with ony one extended arm braving the space outside my bedroom.....so for a period of time I was a prisoner of my own device....

Things for life from Sports

Swimming:
When you are in deep water - breathe...... and you will float up...

Running

Dont look back... always keep your eye on the finish line.... if you look to who is catching up with you you will most certainly fall back... if you dont, you will most certainly be the first one to finish.....or at least you will finish

Cycling

Release the fifth gear when the task seems uphill... you will release reserves of energy to enable you to take go up the hill....

Yoga

Sometimes you have to be in the weirdest of positions to get the maximum benefits....

What shows for the 35 years I have been on earth??? well I dont want this post to turn out to be a ego boosting exercise... but one of the person I have become.... some of the key changes in my life ...

- I coloured my hair, straigtened my hair, lost my hair and then decided to leave it alone for a while....

- I lost 17 kilos over a period of 1 year... gained 7 of that back in 6 months while on secondment....but then fun has not measure...

- I lost a bit of my innocense.... though I suffer from this malady still...

- I have become more hesitant in making friends.... fragile relationships are a way of life...

- learned to treasure my family....

- love kids more.... I now like children till they are 9....after than I dont like them that much....

- become more concious of public perception

- travelled a lot.... and still want to ...

- loved and lost... still worth it...

- aspired more...

- learnt politics is not really for me...

- loved Mumbai... and then began to see its seamy side....

- realised that some things are just not going to change... the best is to accept it...

- learnt that I am not a super human being... I clearly cannot be invisible....

- learnt that sometimes it is best not to react....

- learnt that I am not always the most controlled person....

Slaps of Mumbai

The last post seems ominous now... given that Mumbai has been rocked by 3 bomb blasts yet again.... and this time I was in a car at Dadar west when the bomb blasts happened ... I heard the blasts... thot they were unusual... and figured it might be somebody bursting crackers... and went my way.... and realised that something had happened only when I got the message that blasts had happened....

As I say... I am even more convinced that Mumbai lives on Ram Barose.... yet again citizens who were anxious to go home get caught in the middle of this all.....

Mumbai delivers slaps to people once in a while... be it the bomb blasts... train blasts... the floods.... every now and then Mumbai acts as a great leveller.....both rich and poor get affected... so you could be driving in your fancy audi and be stuck along side a yellow and black taxi ..... both of you trying to inch your way forward in the traffic jam......

Perhaps that is the reason people in Mumbai dont show off.... they know that everything can be taken away in a minute.... and that you are no different from the others...

After the November 26th attack in Mumbai there was a stream of angst from the public.... who the hell is protecting us??? how can terrorists armed to the teeth sail across the border and hold the city hostage???? where were the powers that be who were supposed to protect us???? Anger poured out into the streets of Mumbai and evryone discovered their voice....

The anger remains but the voice doesnt... as with everything else in Mumbai the chaos has overtaken the fears... people just got swept away once in the business of making a life...

The toughness of life of a mumbaikar becomes manifest day in and day out to me.... starting with the morning newspaper walla who doesnt come to your house on time... to the lady who cleans your house.... to your cook... your life is a well oiled machinery completely dependant on the professionalism of individuals who probably dont know the meaning of that english word.... what works in Mumbai is the "zabaan"... the words carry more strenghth in this city than the written code... throwing lawyers like me redundant.... I trust my maids to come to my house on time... I trust my maids not to steal from me... I trust my maids not let people into my house... I trust their zabaan.... as much as they trust my zabaan that I will pay them a certain amount of money every month.... in some strange way Mumbai is running on the strenth of the "zabaan".....

You come out to the streets of mumbai and you see life operating in an "organised chaos" basis... there is some rhythm to the chaos.... horns blaring, cars stalling, kids crossing, buses plying, street vendors selling magazines... everybody wants a place in the streets of mumbai... to get on with the business of making a life... and I keep wondering to myself... what prevents another attack on Mumbai?

I mean who is to stop a mad man from running across the street strapped with bombs and blowing himself up... who is to prevent another sea borne attack? everyday you come upon wide gaps in the city's machinery which could have converted into a full fledged attack...and as I drive away I keep hoping that no crazy person with the intent to kill has noticed the gaping hole in the thin fabric of mumbai life....

and I wonder what keeps the city going.. and I can only express it one word ... everything in this city runs on "Ram Barose"... in the faith that God will look after one and all... if you die, then God just wanted you to die that way... if you lived, God just wanted you to live for something....

I wonder whether there is any other city in the word where 20 million people live on sheer faith.... as they say God Knows... or should I say Ram Knows....

In a strange sense what you really thought was most irritating is actually the most important aspect of your life....

I also realised that I am much too poor for my desires.....

Mumbai Musings

Its tough living in Mumbai... everybody agrees.... when they get the time to think about the questions that is.... everybody is in a rush.... rush to get to office, rush to make it back home, rush for the movie, rush before the rains start, rush before the traffic gets bad... rush rush rush....

the Neeraj Grover murder case has been hitting the headlines....for good reason.... the macabre murder shocked everyone... more so because these were people just like you and me who committed the murder.... my parents also weighed in on the issue... according to my dad all 3 parties were wrong... all three??? huh?? what did the victim do?? I pondered loudly.... I should have expected my dad's reply... "why did he go and spend the night at her house? when they are not married?? if you do such things you will get killed" hmmm....I wonder whether that was a subtle message to me from my dad...

in other news my tata sky plus goes blank when the rain starts... nwo I would have thot that they would have enough research done to withstand mumbai monsoons... instead it goes completely blank even during the lightest rains... so I was completely pissed off.... and called customer service .... blah blah blah I complained... only to hear the person tell me... "madam there is nothing wrong with tata sky. What is wrong is your expectation from Tata Sky. Dont expect it to wrok during the rain"..... whattttt?????????????????

Mumbai is a tough place to live in... slowly your good humour also loses sheen... and probably sleep... and added to that there will be no TV during the sleepless nights.....

so baby george has become too smart for his little boots....apparently his latest addiction is a computer game.... which he plays day and night.... much to the concern of his mother..... but the alarm bells were set off when Baby George feigned illness everyday refusing to go to school.... only for his mother to notice that he was never ill to play on the computer....

so now there has been a complete crackdown on his access.... and Baby George is apparently very unhappy with attending school....apparently computer generated figurines aer betetr company for baby george

When bad things happen ... you should know that this is only the lull before the storm of good comes your way....

You know what... i am not giving in.... come on.... lets see how far this goes on...

Sometimes all you want is a hug from someone who cares for you and tells you that everything is alright... and in a very Shah Rukh way - Main Hoon Na...

Hmmmm... I wonder whether you can buy that from the stores nowadays.... the CD of Main Hoon Na that is....

I have always heard it... but never really believed in it... but when you dont get something you really want... then probably God spared you that....

So this is a story about a friend of mine... who promised to visit me in London.... and excitedly chartered out her holiday plans in front of the family.... the family responded..."arree you are going to London? WHy dont we also come with you?'.... friend explains and I am very happy to have her parents also visit me.... good good good....

cut to 3 weeks later... friend calls me to say that there is a change in plan...what change I asked?... my friend reluctantly explained....well... now we are not coming to London.... you see my entire family is now travelling with me... and by entire family I mean my uncles, aunts, nephews, 2nd cousins etc.... they all applied for UK visa but some of them got rejected... so now all of us are going to Europe instead....including our Maharaj (the cook).....

So that is how an entire Gujju family travelled around Europe in a volvo bus ... with periodic breaks to eat the Thepla and Kakhra....and lamenting the fact that there is no Jain food anywhere in Europe.....as they say the Gujjus are the "Japanese" tourists from India... you can spot them a mile away ....

my only question to my friend was ... can you send me some Thepla from Interlaken?

not that i have been going around looking for it...but so much talk around me is about women... there is the debate about whether Indian women politicians are as good as their male counterparts( when actually it should be are they as bad?)... whether Womens Reservation Bill should be passed...

One of the new ideas that came about was the Slut Walk... now this is a walk where women dress as they want to give out the message that they are not the ones who attract the people... the people who attack women based on their clothes is actually at fault.... for long it has been the lot of women to suffer the attack and also the guilt of somehow having brought it on themselves.... I completely see the point of this walk.... and hope it takes place.... a womans right to dress as she wants without being cornered is very critical to her existence...

On one hand there is this advanced thinking... on the othere there is the daily hindi soaps we see on TV... now yes I like channel surfing and sometimes when it looks good I stop by to follow... and one such serial had a scene where there are 3 men... two of them are washing clothes... in walks a woman... apparently she is the estranged daughter in law....she looks at these men washing the clothes and asks them what they are doing.... and they respond that since she has left them now they have to do all the household stuff.... and in typical bharatiya nari style she looks at them in a guilty way and admits that washing clothes is actually her job....and gets her hand down and dirty immediately... relieving the young men from their hell.....suffice to say this serial put the woman in her place....

when will such subtle messages be discarded in our society?

Alright ... enough with this civil society jazz.... I mean I have a lot of respect for people working on the sidelines... which somehow makes me live better with my middle class guilt of sitting in an AC office and working for a corporate honcho....

but seriously I dont like the way the Civil Society members are behaving.... do they really think they can bulldoze members of elected parliament? do they really think that they represent India more than the elected members? do they really believe that the best way to negotiate is to call the other side cheats and liars?? where will all this stop?? when do we see maturity and a process of give and take...

I honestly believe this government has done enough to placate the civil society members... and I honestly believe this government is doing the right thing by drawing the line now as well... and telling the civil society members that they will not be threatened anymore... so if you want to go on a fast and die .. please do so... we will also be at liberty to take whatever action is necessary...

and the world at large - what is with them?? do they not see the dangerous precedent being set by the civil society members?? do they not see how you are gradually diluting your electoral process by getting non elected member dictate to the government?? so why are you criticising the government for taking a tough stand based on what they know best - governance!so please let the government do its job... by all means keep the vigilance going... but dont let your guard down...

Sometimes I just dont understand people.... more specifically I cant understand some women...

I had two conversations with two different women from different ends of the spectrum.... to both I asked the question, where are you from? innocuous enough...to which both replied their respective communities "I am a gujarati" or "I am a Sindhi".... ofcourse I didnt think much of that... and may have even volunteered details of where I am from... only later when conversaions went deeper did I realise that these women were actually from totally different communities... they were actually saying that they are from the community that they were married into!! So these women had changed their entire identity to that of the husbands... and it seems they had even changed their genes!

I mean how does one lose their original identity by marriage... do you suddenly become a South Indian just because your spouse is from South India?? by that logic do you become educated just because your spouse is educated??

while my attempts to ask them these questions were met with a lot of disdain... but I seriously started wondering...

Whether women themselves are behind their own devaluation???? something to think about...... and something for me to also think about as well - why I think so differently....

What do you do with a mad man who has a massive following???? seriously what do you do to a man who first says he forgives the PM and then says he is raising an army to defend himself and his followers???

And then there is the song and dance about Sushma's dance at Rajghat... while seeing the jig I was quite apalled thinking to myself that this does not do good for the image of the BJP... firstly it is at Gandhi's samdhi.... which for all reasons is akin to visiting say a demi God's resting place... Indians still do not want to see Gandhi to be openly insulted... even more perplexing is the fact that it is the BJP which actually went to Rajghat to perform Sathyagraha... as if in some way saying we are now taking the support of Gandhi.... have they forgotten that it is their non - political wing which actually assasinated Gandhi?? I just could not miss the irony of it all... so when I saw them dancing I wondered whether this dancing was in support of a cause or they just found a way to make merry....

and even more disgusting is the fact that parties have jumped on this dance to pull down Sushma Swaraj... seriously people lets find issues to fight about....

This whole political drama has put me off.... it looks like one party is worse than the other... but my loyalties lie firmly with the Congress... but I wish to see some amount of maturity ....

I feel sad... a good man trying to do good is cut into a million pieces.... what hope is there for people who are more ordinary than him.....

Baba Ramdev drama unfolding in Delhi today.... and I cant believe how insane the opposition parties are.... they are all saying it is an affront to democracy.... and LK Advani likened it to Jallianwala Bagh.... Whattttttt!!!! Does he know his history lesson??? Or should he be given a history lesson... if this is Jallianwala then what would he call what his government did in Gujarat??? Ofcourse that they call as a the legitimate response of the majority government....

EVerybody has the right to protest in Inda... and that is the beauty of our country.... there is a certain amount of respect that should be given to people who have the guts to protest.... but in no country should civil society hijack the government.... are we now going to listen to any tom, dick and harry who come to protest??? Should we now listen to RSS who will say that all minorities should be given a place in Pakistan??? If we start listening to all and sundry then what is the purpose of a democracy....

Seriously .... BJP... find a new cause....

Today I started something new... and faced the old.....

Go figure... or you can just call me to find out....

I am just exhausted....

Tough realisation that glass ceiling does exist in many forms in India... it might not actually be evident but it appears only when you hit your head against it... and it is very evident when you interact with people....

Most recently one of the transactions I was working on was dominated by women...but the transaction was lead by a man.... who refused to interact with anyone of the opposite gender.... so there was a funny situation where we are all sitting across the table and discussing... and I was explaining some issue to this man.... and funnily enough he refused to look at me when I was talking to him... and in response to my explanation he replied to my male colleague... enough to make anyone go mad.... I leaned across to my male colleague and asked "why does he not look at me when I am talking to him?" My colleague replied "Its not his fault. He is from the cow belt"....

In a country which is dominated by women rulers its surprising that you have people like this... meanwhile I am just nursing my head which just hit glass.....

So I had one more weekend with my sister, Christy and Baby George... it was so much fun.... we went to an amusement park in Cochin and had the best time ever... we went on rides... and screamed our lungs out... Christy and me went on a crazy ride and I could not open my eyes at all.... Baby George was ofcourse too small.... and was not allowed in to most things..i tried to distract him by asking him about his friends back home... you know Shanoo, Om, Mohammed... only this time he kept thinking and thinking.. he had forgotten his friends!!! and then quickly pointed at Christy and said "Christy is my friend"...helloooo kid.... just last month you had snapped at Christy for laughing at your friend Shanoo....well.. he quickly moved on...... and he kept asking for the pool.... but then we realised one thing....

THat Baby George is scared of water....at first I was surprised... at this age what fear can be have... but fear he did... and refused to get into the swimming pool .... and got in only after hanging on to my neck..... and even then Baby George was completely screeching when playing in the water....I kept wondering why would he be scared of water....and then given all my interest in past life asked my sister whether she thinks he is afraid of water cos of something is his past life... hahah... only to have my sister retort.... "he doesnt even remember his friends after a month... forget past life!".... well she had a point...

At this age I am a bit wary of people who get too close to me too soon... or profess undying devotion to me... I am just a tad cautious... what is wrong with this person??? am I being cynical?? I am not sure... definitely more cautious.....

I am also amazed at how fragile human relationships actually are..... There are so many people in the world who just walk away from relationships for flimsy reasons... and by relationships I dont mean male female relationships... i mean all kinds of relationships... something pisses you off totally and you just snap out of it.... and walk away... you just move on and dont look back... while I do think that is each persons personal choice... I have to wonder however whetehr all this individualism has made relationships even more fragile... for the weakest of reasons perhaps one ends up losing an otherwise good relationship....

Anyways, I believe in the old adage - if you sneeze and the nose falls off then let it! If things can be destroyed by a simple incident then so be it.. that is the life span of that relationship....

There are time when I see something and my heart melts.... melts in a way that I can feel little drops of my heart falling down.... and I almost feel like doing a skip and feel that life is great....

and most of them involve kids....

Vacancy

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The incumbent can expect a life of adventure and purpose. Work done by the incumbent usually is front page news in all countries. Job involves travel (through tough terrains) and incumbent will be expected to live in small towns with little or no contact with the outside world - adequate protection will be given in alliance with the friendly host government.

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Qualifications: Knowledge of all anti-American slogans, threatening words and a belief that muslims are discriminated against universally. Working knowledge of use of weapons and flying would be added bonus.

Walk in interviews will be held at an undisclosed location.

The funny side of my robbery was suprisingly brought about by my mom... at first she was concerned about my safety... Level 1. Level 2 was the sadness with the lost jewellery.... They were so pretty.... pity I wont get to see them again... said my mom wistfully....

I was lying down on the sofa all the while trying not to listen to such lament....

and then my sister joined forces.... "you know I am glad she didnt get up in her sleep and see the robber.." said my sister while helping my mother sort out the beans.... 'actually, I am glad she didnt wake up and actually offer the robber coffee.."... at this I turned!! whattttt ??? really people.... what kind of nut did my sister think I am .... on seeing my quizzing look my sister immediately corrected herself "oh sorry. I forgot you dont keep coffee in your house. you would have offerred him diet coke or juice? Rights???" and my mom guffawed at the thought of me serving the robbers coffee in the middle of the night....

By now a nice fluffy pillow was halfway across the room enroute to meeting my sisters forehead....

It helped lighten up the situation a bit... all of us laughed a nervous laughter hoping to drown out what had been averted .....

There is something surreal about my world right now... given that I have just been the victim of a brazen crime... and a very daring one at that ... ofcourse I am thanking God profusely for having saved me from all harm... but now my view point to the world is actually coloured by what happened....

First off I am eternally grateful for the good things I have in life... and such good things are not measured by the wealth I have (which ofcourse can be taken away by a crafty robber)but by the intangibles in your life... your friends, family, your sprit, your safety, your mind, your zest for life.... stealing is not the way you loose these things...yuo lose these things in normal course and out of your own active action...

I am also concious now how bad the world really can be.... for one there are those who really pretend to care but dont really care... and you are left wondering "wait, isnt this person my friend?".... I have come to realise that expecting good from others is really not sane....

I have also realised that life is about making peace with what you cannot change... my stuff has gone and I probably will not get it back... I just have to make peace with it... and not fret on and on about it.... like I have to live with the fact that many people in my life really dont care about me....

One of the after effects of a robbery while you are in the house is the realisation that you are really really vulnerable.... a feeling that many would share on seeing the tsunami on tv..... its like you can try and be whoever you want to be but at the end of the day nature and a higher power control who you are....

While I lost money, the most precious possession of mine - physical safety was protected... it had to be someone smiling down on me to protect when the robbers were rummaging through my stuff in the bedroom.... and to think if I had just got up and seen the robber.... it gives me shivers still....

for days on end I could not sleep peacefully.......and I probably will not be able to sleep peacefully for a long long time....

I debated whether to write this post... I tossed and turned and tossed and turned and tossed adn turned.... till I decided that writing to me was therapeutic... and hence this writing....

I was victim of a crime recently... a most daring crime of house robbery.......

till date I keep thinking about the power of God that made me escape what could have easily been ugly... and God forbid anything had happened I would have just been a statistic to society, a lost resource to my employer and a terrible loss for my parents and some friends.....

the crisis also shows you who are the people who run to you with help... the people who dont loose nerves when you are in a crisis... people who will remain strong for you when you are at your worst.... people you can count on... and who will not be too busy to call you to check on you...... and who are just a phone call away....

I am too stunned to actually take what I am feeling seriously... all I can say is thank god you are not a victim... and keep praying that you are not a victim....

Its always good fun to interact with my nephews... nice to see the new generation coming up... but as always I expect them to follow what we did in our lives and wonder why they are so different... guess I will not make the best parent in the world....

Anyways Baby George was in Mumbai with me for a few days... and we had the best time ever.... he started speaking to me about his friends back in tanzania.... so what are the names of your friends?

Om, Mohammed, Shanoo, Anand....

And Baby George informed me that he doesnt like girls... 'they are not my friends'.... and then when I probed him a bit more he told me that he bit his friend Anand in the bus... why??? cos Anand said he was not my friend.... way to go kid.. bite someone who refuses to be your friend... hahaha.... and he started off by telling me that he had 5 friends and when I asked him who is the 5th friend he quickly reacted back saying 'the whole world is not my friend',... point taken kid....

anyways now they have left... after the euphoric victory of India winning the world cup... everytime i screamed Baby george would get scared... and then I took him fort he victory parade at Carter Road.... all in all India in a different light....

So I have been feeding on a diet of old Amitabh Bachan movies.... and I am totally blown away by this man... now I can understand why he is still such a superstar..... in his movies he is the man of character.. the man who overcomes odds.... the example that every ordinary Indian can aspire to.... as compared to that the heroes of today appear to be a tad sad.... actually frivolous.... it is about love stories... or about some form of family drama... there is no depth in these characters... they are great entertainers but Amitabh brought out a personality... my God he is good....

another theme that runs through all his movies... the ability of an ordinary person to overcome his circumstances in life.... to fight against all odds and survive... and poverty was such a recurring theme in his movies..... and India was quite a difficult place to stay... in the absense of cell phones the movies show people making calls from pay phones... and almost screaming to talk.... and forget about out station calls... it was only trunk calling... ahh those days... thank God we are past that....

In other news I am quite disgusted with the entire cash for votes issue.... and how the BJP is stalling Parliament for it.... and the Tehelka story also shows that no party is above suspicion.... it is not to their credit if they ask people to buy and somebody offers them something... both parties are actually bad... and the Congress seems to have got the blame for it.... not to say that it is disappointing to see the Congress government get muddled in controversies after controversies... enough please... lets have some governance now....

My sister and the kids are down from Tanzania... at first go Baby George just kept quiet when he saw me... and later on warmed up to me....one day in the car I asked him to sit on my lap... and he was like - no I will sit with mummy... and in jest I told him "cutty".... he got so upset... that he promptly came and sat in my lap to ensure that I would not be cutty with him.... that is so cute........

Today I watched one of my favourite movies - Masoom....it was in a way my way of re-living childhood days....... I had seen the movie when I was a child.... and danced innumerable times to the song 'Lakdi ki katti'..... I used to envy the children in that movie because they were always so well dressed and thin! Almost believing that the 'moti' they refer to in th emovie was me!! so much for complexes......other than these silly things I dont remember anything much of the movie.... and hence I decided to watch it again...

and this time the subtle messages were obvious to me... the question of infidility... the illegitimate child.... the relationship between the husband and wife... everything.... the movie is fantastically made by Shekhar Kapur and at every scene he manages to capture the emotions very very well.... as an adult I now understand what the movie was alll about....

Having said that I just could not help but notice the gender biases in the movie... for instance Nasseruddin Shah has 2 daughters in the movie... and his friends constantly chide him about how he doesnt have a son... and the protagonist also keeps wishing for a son.... when he has two very smart intelligent daughters.... and that is somehow used to explain that accepting the illegimate son is good... so that the void of a son can be fulfilled... I wonder whether in modern times this would be acceptable.... for instance what if the illegitimate child was a girl?? would the movie have been differently made?? also there is one character played by Tanuja who is shown as a career woman... at first she is shown as a cigarrett puffing career woman... who is always bold and abrasive... and who speaks her mind but does not fit into society....and ofcourse her husband has left her for another woman! I mean if that was not there in the movie then the movie would not have been complete at all... so a woman cannot be a bold, speak her mind and smoke a ciggy without her husband leaving her..... tch tch... will women never learn?? that seems to be what the movie is asking.....forgive all indiscretions of the man and stay together as a family.........

Its all about the joy of the movies!

Delhi - One of my Fav haunts

London - delayed pictures...

Well what can I say - I 'heart' London too.....

Some things just bring back memories .... the recent Jasmine revolution in Tunisia and the ongoing revolution in Egypt brings back memories of the fall of communism in the early 90s when I was still in school..... At that time television was not as sophisticated as it is today and most often we had to rely on radio to get uptodate news about the events in the world...newspapers were always every exciting those days.... I remember getting lost in the literature .... and I also remember having attempted to keep the newspaper clipping of those days for posterity.... somewhere thinking that I would find immense pleasure in reviewing those headlines again....

This time round I can see the part played by technology in bringing about this revolution..... facebook, twitter, you tube etc are all responsible for bringing so many people together... in a way the millionaire inventors of these applications actually provided a service to the people around the world..... and this time I can see action live on TV... almost as if I am part of the revolution....

I never thot I would see the day when democractic movement would sweep the Arab world..... especially since there was a feeling that generally democracy would not work in that part of the world.... I sure hope we are witnessing the birth of a new form of government in the Arab world.... and I also hope that such a change will bring prosperity to the people ... and once the prosperity comes all forms of violent protests will subside and people will be just busy with making their lives better .....