Sometimes I feel it is so easy to be swelled up by the great race called the rat race... where everybody is running towards the finish line so that they can get the best acclaim in life - to be called the BEST RAT by the rest of the rats!....
Now mind you I am also in the rat race... I am not for one sitting on the sidelines and claiming to be a creature other than a rat.... I am one and will continue to be so till my EMI does not dictate my work life balance...
But what I dont like is the rat race coming into my personal life.... everybody judges - including me - but I hate the fact that the judgment is so easily passed .... recently a family friend visited me in Mumbai and asked me "Do you have your own house?" Nope. "Do you have your own car?" Nope. "Do you have a cook?" Nope. Next thing I knew she had gone around telling everyone in Kerala how poor(!!) I am.
While it made me laugh I began to wonder - will I ever be considered rich without having a car, a flat and a cook? Will I ever be considered as successful without achieving titles? Will I ever be considered happy without showing the ingredients of the happiness?
Wednesday, July 18, 2007
Saturday, July 14, 2007
Being Cheerful
Today somebody commented about how I am always cheerful.
And that made me lose all my cheer. There is something very ominous about a very cheerful person - either they are brimming with some evil deep inside - like all serial killers or they will completely loose it at a very young age of 40 - like one of those endangered communities where all the folks turn senile.
Ofcourse I think the person was completely wrong. I am not always cheerful. I sulk early morning. I hate bad service and shout at my telephone company pretty often. I also shout my fridge when there is no food for a late night. And most recently I shout at the imaginary enemy hiding in my DVD player who ensures that when I want to watch a movie the DVD player goes bust.
So there I have my demons.
And that made me lose all my cheer. There is something very ominous about a very cheerful person - either they are brimming with some evil deep inside - like all serial killers or they will completely loose it at a very young age of 40 - like one of those endangered communities where all the folks turn senile.
Ofcourse I think the person was completely wrong. I am not always cheerful. I sulk early morning. I hate bad service and shout at my telephone company pretty often. I also shout my fridge when there is no food for a late night. And most recently I shout at the imaginary enemy hiding in my DVD player who ensures that when I want to watch a movie the DVD player goes bust.
So there I have my demons.
Friday, July 13, 2007
Why are lawyers miserable?
An interesting article in a foreing magazine on why lawyers are miserable. While I think being a lawyer is fantastic I do realise that to an outsider it must look like a suicidal job. But this article was really funny.
____________________________________________________
The juxtaposition of two stories in The Times last week - one reporting that top-flght City lawyers were charging as much as £1,000 fln hour for their expertise, another that a quarter of
lawyers wanted to leave their profession - raised a pertinent question: just why are those in the
legal business so miserable?
The Law Society has recently been trying to provide an answer ,but its "quality of life" review, aking the form of workshops, debates and online surveys,has been dragging on inconclusively like a complex fraud case and also seems to have missed some vital evidence from across the pond. You see, as with everything else, America has been doing lawyer dissatisfaction bigger and
bet~~r than us for decades. Polls have at various times established that not just a quarter, but up to 40 per cent of US lawyers want to leave their profession; and whereas British lawyers are only just waking up to the fact they are miserable and want to die, their American counterparts
have been alert to it since 1989,which saw the publication of J. Qeborll Anon's Running From
he. LawrWhy Good Lawyers are, Getting Out òf the Legal Profession. Indeed, there are now almost more books, articles and websites dedicated to the subject of legal despair than there are American lawyers. Which is saying something, given that the USA has more lawyers than people. And last week, to help the Law Society get to the point, I spent two bleak days siftng through the lierature, a process that made it clear City lawyers are unhappy because of:
1. the dehumanising hours.
Remember that bit in The Firm where Tom Cruise's character is told that if he even thinks of a
client in the shower, he should bil it?
Not only can one imagine this actually happening now - lawyers generallý charge on the basis of
bilable hours, and annual targets can: be brutal - but the shower might even be taken in the offce.
Many City firms offer beds and washrooms in offces to enable staff to work .loIlg!!~
While those entering the profession may be prepared for this- an excessive workload is seen as '
a rite of passage - many don't seem to realise that their reward for sellng the best year of their lives is simply the' privilege of being
____________________________________________________
The juxtaposition of two stories in The Times last week - one reporting that top-flght City lawyers were charging as much as £1,000 fln hour for their expertise, another that a quarter of
lawyers wanted to leave their profession - raised a pertinent question: just why are those in the
legal business so miserable?
The Law Society has recently been trying to provide an answer ,but its "quality of life" review, aking the form of workshops, debates and online surveys,has been dragging on inconclusively like a complex fraud case and also seems to have missed some vital evidence from across the pond. You see, as with everything else, America has been doing lawyer dissatisfaction bigger and
bet~~r than us for decades. Polls have at various times established that not just a quarter, but up to 40 per cent of US lawyers want to leave their profession; and whereas British lawyers are only just waking up to the fact they are miserable and want to die, their American counterparts
have been alert to it since 1989,which saw the publication of J. Qeborll Anon's Running From
he. LawrWhy Good Lawyers are, Getting Out òf the Legal Profession. Indeed, there are now almost more books, articles and websites dedicated to the subject of legal despair than there are American lawyers. Which is saying something, given that the USA has more lawyers than people. And last week, to help the Law Society get to the point, I spent two bleak days siftng through the lierature, a process that made it clear City lawyers are unhappy because of:
1. the dehumanising hours.
Remember that bit in The Firm where Tom Cruise's character is told that if he even thinks of a
client in the shower, he should bil it?
Not only can one imagine this actually happening now - lawyers generallý charge on the basis of
bilable hours, and annual targets can: be brutal - but the shower might even be taken in the offce.
Many City firms offer beds and washrooms in offces to enable staff to work .loIlg!!~
While those entering the profession may be prepared for this- an excessive workload is seen as '
a rite of passage - many don't seem to realise that their reward for sellng the best year of their lives is simply the' privilege of being
a:Iowed to sell the rest of their lives in the capacity of partner.Which, of course, negates the
only advantage of being a lawyer:the cash: Leaving aside the question of whether money can
make you happy, it is prett obviousit won't if you have no time to spend it .
2. the yawning gap between their intellgence and the mind-numbing nature of their work. The word "lawyer" may trigger images of attractive people making clever arguments in wood-panelled courtrooms, but most spend the majority of their time in back offces draftng and redrafing small print that almost no one will read. At least if you flpped burgers
for a living you'd have the satisfaction of giving people momentary pleasure.
3. the yawning gap between the ideals of those entering theprofession and the reality. Some
go into law because they dream of fighting injustice, but discover on entering that most of what lawyers do benefits big business.
Others enter the profession because they are seduced by the apparent glamour of the trade, as
portrayed in Ally McBeal and LA -Law, only to find that the work is about as glamorous as getting a verruca (cf point 2). Then there are those graduates - as much as 47 per cent of" the profession, according to a recent survey - who drift into the job because thty don't
know what else to do, assuming vaguely that it might be fun, and find on entering that it is about,is amusing as breaking a limb in a traffc accident (cf point 1). '.
Repeatedly. For 90 hours a week.
only advantage of being a lawyer:the cash: Leaving aside the question of whether money can
make you happy, it is prett obviousit won't if you have no time to spend it .
2. the yawning gap between their intellgence and the mind-numbing nature of their work. The word "lawyer" may trigger images of attractive people making clever arguments in wood-panelled courtrooms, but most spend the majority of their time in back offces draftng and redrafing small print that almost no one will read. At least if you flpped burgers
for a living you'd have the satisfaction of giving people momentary pleasure.
3. the yawning gap between the ideals of those entering theprofession and the reality. Some
go into law because they dream of fighting injustice, but discover on entering that most of what lawyers do benefits big business.
Others enter the profession because they are seduced by the apparent glamour of the trade, as
portrayed in Ally McBeal and LA -Law, only to find that the work is about as glamorous as getting a verruca (cf point 2). Then there are those graduates - as much as 47 per cent of" the profession, according to a recent survey - who drift into the job because thty don't
know what else to do, assuming vaguely that it might be fun, and find on entering that it is about,is amusing as breaking a limb in a traffc accident (cf point 1). '.
Repeatedly. For 90 hours a week.
4. the cumulatively lowering nature of the work. We all end up being shaped by our careers. ,
Journalists become rude,incorrgible gossips. Police offcers start believing what they read in
the Daily Mail. Lawyers, meanwhile, become competitive, aggressive, judgmental, analytical, ..
adversarial, emotionally detached, paranoid of being sued and, worst of all, pessimistic. Being a good lawyer involves assuming that people wil do the most awfl things and that treachery is to be expected. It's inevitable that this negativity eventually seeps into their personal lives.
5. the vortex of hatred that envelops them entirely. I'm not only referring here to those
surveys that put lawyers among poliicians and journalists as the least popular of professionals.
I'm also referrng to the fact that lawyers despise each other (cf point 4), despise themselves
(cf points I, 2, 3,4), are despised by their clients (for charging too much, not always winning
cases) and, in return; despise their clients back.
Journalists become rude,incorrgible gossips. Police offcers start believing what they read in
the Daily Mail. Lawyers, meanwhile, become competitive, aggressive, judgmental, analytical, ..
adversarial, emotionally detached, paranoid of being sued and, worst of all, pessimistic. Being a good lawyer involves assuming that people wil do the most awfl things and that treachery is to be expected. It's inevitable that this negativity eventually seeps into their personal lives.
5. the vortex of hatred that envelops them entirely. I'm not only referring here to those
surveys that put lawyers among poliicians and journalists as the least popular of professionals.
I'm also referrng to the fact that lawyers despise each other (cf point 4), despise themselves
(cf points I, 2, 3,4), are despised by their clients (for charging too much, not always winning
cases) and, in return; despise their clients back.
Handling others people's' problems, unless you are Mother Theresa or Esther Rantze,n,
-eventually becomes tedious, especially when most of those problems relate to money.
6. the self-inflcted nature of their suffering. Because of the way City firms work, most senior
. lawyers, as well as having to spend too long doing too much dull work, are under intense
pressure to attract new business. When dissatisfaction kicks in, it's implified by the fact that the work' making them unhappy is self-imposed. It's like waking up to find someone drillng a hole
into your head, only to realise the sadist wielding the Black 'n' Decker ' is actually you.
Looking back over this list, I realise little of it is going to elicit much sympathy. Somehow, I can't
see the Red Cross diverting resources away from Darfur to come to the rescue of professionals earning £1,000 an hour.
But humaú"misery isn't relative, and I can't help thinking these problems could be solved. All City firms need to do is take a moment or take a gooolook at themselves. But that must ( be
diffcult when time is (so much) money.
-eventually becomes tedious, especially when most of those problems relate to money.
6. the self-inflcted nature of their suffering. Because of the way City firms work, most senior
. lawyers, as well as having to spend too long doing too much dull work, are under intense
pressure to attract new business. When dissatisfaction kicks in, it's implified by the fact that the work' making them unhappy is self-imposed. It's like waking up to find someone drillng a hole
into your head, only to realise the sadist wielding the Black 'n' Decker ' is actually you.
Looking back over this list, I realise little of it is going to elicit much sympathy. Somehow, I can't
see the Red Cross diverting resources away from Darfur to come to the rescue of professionals earning £1,000 an hour.
But humaú"misery isn't relative, and I can't help thinking these problems could be solved. All City firms need to do is take a moment or take a gooolook at themselves. But that must ( be
diffcult when time is (so much) money.
Tuesday, July 10, 2007
Favourite Songs
I used to always be scared of telling me people my kind of music... yes, for fear of being judged as a person with "no taste" or for having "plebian taste"... so most often I would pretend to like some arty music, where I would be waiting for the music to start and looking around I would realise that the music has already started ... infact I am 20 minutes late in realising it... so I have decided that I shall stop pretending and just claim some music as mine - I like it and that is all that matters!!!! So booo! to all you judgmental people....
So here is the list of my all time favourite songs:
1) Layla by Eric Clapton - I love this song cos it is so sexy. Pity I am not called Layla. Or can I change my name for one song?
2) Come Undone by Duran Duran - This song sort of puts me in a mood to enjoy a quiet evening... ah...
3) Black Magic Woman by Santana - Period.
4) Horse with no name by America - Very different. Very catchy
5) Come as you are by Nirvana - Awesome. Period.
6) Aisha by Khalid - Once again, can I change my name for one song?
7) Have you ever loved a woman by Bryan Adams? - Yes, have you?
8) Hazard by Richard Marz - Special cos it was my room mate, Anna, who introduced me to this song and with extreme patience explained the whole meaning of the song. Have to say, everytime I listen to that song, I feel I am back in my hostel room in law school squatting on Anna's bed. Sorry Anna for all the squatting but thanks for this song.
9) White Flag by Dido - Just love her voice
10) I feel good by James Brown (I think!) - Yes, I do feel good most often.
11) Girl by Beatles - Yes, I wish I was that girl they were singing about.
12) La Isla Bonita by Madonna - I can actually sing this song!
13) Jesus to a Child by George Michael - I am just mesmerised by this song
14) My All by Mariah Carey - I cant get enough of this
15) Spin the Wheel by George Michael - Ok, besides being gorgeous Georgy can make a girl rock
16) Maria by Santana - Dont you just feel sexy? Even if you are not a maria?
17) Englishman in NewYork by Sting - just sheer brilliance!
18) Rent by Pet Shop Boys - My fav oldie !
19 ) La Luna by Belinda Carlie ( excuse the spelling) - Just dance!
20) Sing by Travis - it encourages me to sing!
Thats just the twenty that comes to my mind. More later.
So here is the list of my all time favourite songs:
1) Layla by Eric Clapton - I love this song cos it is so sexy. Pity I am not called Layla. Or can I change my name for one song?
2) Come Undone by Duran Duran - This song sort of puts me in a mood to enjoy a quiet evening... ah...
3) Black Magic Woman by Santana - Period.
4) Horse with no name by America - Very different. Very catchy
5) Come as you are by Nirvana - Awesome. Period.
6) Aisha by Khalid - Once again, can I change my name for one song?
7) Have you ever loved a woman by Bryan Adams? - Yes, have you?
8) Hazard by Richard Marz - Special cos it was my room mate, Anna, who introduced me to this song and with extreme patience explained the whole meaning of the song. Have to say, everytime I listen to that song, I feel I am back in my hostel room in law school squatting on Anna's bed. Sorry Anna for all the squatting but thanks for this song.
9) White Flag by Dido - Just love her voice
10) I feel good by James Brown (I think!) - Yes, I do feel good most often.
11) Girl by Beatles - Yes, I wish I was that girl they were singing about.
12) La Isla Bonita by Madonna - I can actually sing this song!
13) Jesus to a Child by George Michael - I am just mesmerised by this song
14) My All by Mariah Carey - I cant get enough of this
15) Spin the Wheel by George Michael - Ok, besides being gorgeous Georgy can make a girl rock
16) Maria by Santana - Dont you just feel sexy? Even if you are not a maria?
17) Englishman in NewYork by Sting - just sheer brilliance!
18) Rent by Pet Shop Boys - My fav oldie !
19 ) La Luna by Belinda Carlie ( excuse the spelling) - Just dance!
20) Sing by Travis - it encourages me to sing!
Thats just the twenty that comes to my mind. More later.
Monday, July 09, 2007
Sunday, July 08, 2007
I always find it difficult to assess whether people like me or not... actually I dont trust my assessment... so while I might have gone around thinking everything is perfect in my equation the other person had a totally different take on it.... so I am really reluctant to readily accept any evaluation of people liking me.....
and more so with kids.... I am just not sure whether they like me or not ... Christy baffles me sometimes.... he sometimes calls me up to say that he misses me.... but the next time he sees me he starts hitting and biting me .... and I come away feeling completely confused.... and now it is the turn of Baby George.... given the fact that I was the first person in the world to hold him my mom feels that I will always share a special bond with him.... I disbelieve that... firstly cos I generally dont consider myself to be great with kids (although my friends say that I am great with them) and secondly he is a baby!! how much does he know about the nurse who held him and me .... and recently when I was showing one of those home videos of Baby George and me my friend immediately quipped "he likes you so much"... what??? no way.. he is just playing .... ...
and today when I went to my sister's place, my sister tells me that Baby George heard my voice from the other room, listened for a while and then smiled... my sister was completely shocked.... and after a while of playing, Baby George refused to go to sleep ... and when he did he kept raising his head to see whether I was around.... and ofcourse the standard routine of following me around the house continued today as well....... and me being me I stood in differents parts of the room just to see whether he would actually come to me... and he did!!
After all this I came away thinking - Does Baby George really like me that much??? Nah... he is probably bored of routine ....
and more so with kids.... I am just not sure whether they like me or not ... Christy baffles me sometimes.... he sometimes calls me up to say that he misses me.... but the next time he sees me he starts hitting and biting me .... and I come away feeling completely confused.... and now it is the turn of Baby George.... given the fact that I was the first person in the world to hold him my mom feels that I will always share a special bond with him.... I disbelieve that... firstly cos I generally dont consider myself to be great with kids (although my friends say that I am great with them) and secondly he is a baby!! how much does he know about the nurse who held him and me .... and recently when I was showing one of those home videos of Baby George and me my friend immediately quipped "he likes you so much"... what??? no way.. he is just playing .... ...
and today when I went to my sister's place, my sister tells me that Baby George heard my voice from the other room, listened for a while and then smiled... my sister was completely shocked.... and after a while of playing, Baby George refused to go to sleep ... and when he did he kept raising his head to see whether I was around.... and ofcourse the standard routine of following me around the house continued today as well....... and me being me I stood in differents parts of the room just to see whether he would actually come to me... and he did!!
After all this I came away thinking - Does Baby George really like me that much??? Nah... he is probably bored of routine ....
Saturday, July 07, 2007
Yet another rainy morning when Alice stepped out with her camera to capture Mumbai... Was really fascinated by the remnants of a fort in Bandra and which still had portugese writing on it!!! Ofcourse the words "AMIDON99" just below it adds no value to it and only enhances the feeling of dilapidation... the fort has an amphitheatre where concerts can be held but is in such a bad shape that you will spot only canoodling couples there... this despite a board saying clearing "No anti social activities"...The last picture happened by mistake when the winds brought the umbrella in front of the camera... but net effect I liked....
Time to change this blog?
Talking about change I am slowly beginning to consider closing this blog down and shifting to an anonymous blogger mode... While I excitedly sent out my blog details to all and sundry when I created it I now feel I should have just kept my mouth shut about it. Like a friend immediately wrote back "I am glad to see you are willing to share your feelings in public". That should have been my cue.
Nowadays I am extremely concious about the fact that somebody reading this may be someone who is not my friend. Maybe a misplaced fear but one that is there nevertheless. And there are also so many things I am not able to discuss on this blog cos there are some things that are just private.
Hmmm......
Talking about change I am slowly beginning to consider closing this blog down and shifting to an anonymous blogger mode... While I excitedly sent out my blog details to all and sundry when I created it I now feel I should have just kept my mouth shut about it. Like a friend immediately wrote back "I am glad to see you are willing to share your feelings in public". That should have been my cue.
Nowadays I am extremely concious about the fact that somebody reading this may be someone who is not my friend. Maybe a misplaced fear but one that is there nevertheless. And there are also so many things I am not able to discuss on this blog cos there are some things that are just private.
Hmmm......
Friday, July 06, 2007
Of late I have been thinking about changes that happen in one's life..... as a child you are never prepared to face changes .... as an adult sometimes you keep hoping for a change in your life... most often one is never prepared for that change - good or bad... sometimes the long awaited change comes at a time when you really dont expect it anymore despite longing for it....
Personally there have been many changes in my life ... looking back, however painful it might have been at that time, I dont think I would have wanted life any other way.... for instance the biggest change in my life was the shift from Oman to Kerala... while I love India blah blah blah, for me the shift was a complete nightmare...
I found it extremely difficult to adjust to a life in Kerala..... found it difficult that I could not cycle around (lest people start talking about you), found it difficult that there was no place where one could go and play bad minton or just play carroms, found it difficult to understand the new people I was getting to know, found it difficult to understand why money was all of a sudden of paramount importance in one's life, found it difficult to understand why I was not taken to school in a school bus (my school didnt provide me that service)..... I just found it difficult. Period.
Over time I gradully adjusted to India and finally found my place only in law school... I am now as comfortable in India as Baby George is in his swing cot..... I love the pace, the chaos, challenges.........
The other big change in my life was ofcourse law school... it was a wonderful change that was due for a long time.... and quite honestly after Kerala it was like I was let up from under water to breathe...... and breathe I did..... and then ofcourse as a result of that I came to Mumbai to work and everybody knows my feelings about Mumbai...
the other big change in my life was my study in London for a year.... It was such an exciting yet anxiety inducing time for me.... I was ecstatic about having got the scholarship to LSE... I was even more ecstatic that I would get to live in London for a year... I remember excitedly packing up my stuff, selling my beautiful low seater chairs, shipping my antique chair to Kottayam, saying goodbyes to all and sundry and heading out to the UK as excited as Baby George gets when he sees food..... what a one year I had... I learned so much, travelled so much, met so many people, studied spanish ....... whew!
And sometimes you see changes happening in another persons life and that affects you ... like my sister shifting to Mumbai and now being a die hard Mumbai fan.... I cannot think of a time without her now...or my friends who all shifted out of Mumbai one by one cos of educatio, marriage or just a change of city.... or the entry of Baby George into this world..... all of them have affected my life in some way or the other....
I guess there will be many more changes in my life - some good some bad....
Change is constant. Thankgod it is.
Personally there have been many changes in my life ... looking back, however painful it might have been at that time, I dont think I would have wanted life any other way.... for instance the biggest change in my life was the shift from Oman to Kerala... while I love India blah blah blah, for me the shift was a complete nightmare...
I found it extremely difficult to adjust to a life in Kerala..... found it difficult that I could not cycle around (lest people start talking about you), found it difficult that there was no place where one could go and play bad minton or just play carroms, found it difficult to understand the new people I was getting to know, found it difficult to understand why money was all of a sudden of paramount importance in one's life, found it difficult to understand why I was not taken to school in a school bus (my school didnt provide me that service)..... I just found it difficult. Period.
Over time I gradully adjusted to India and finally found my place only in law school... I am now as comfortable in India as Baby George is in his swing cot..... I love the pace, the chaos, challenges.........
The other big change in my life was ofcourse law school... it was a wonderful change that was due for a long time.... and quite honestly after Kerala it was like I was let up from under water to breathe...... and breathe I did..... and then ofcourse as a result of that I came to Mumbai to work and everybody knows my feelings about Mumbai...
the other big change in my life was my study in London for a year.... It was such an exciting yet anxiety inducing time for me.... I was ecstatic about having got the scholarship to LSE... I was even more ecstatic that I would get to live in London for a year... I remember excitedly packing up my stuff, selling my beautiful low seater chairs, shipping my antique chair to Kottayam, saying goodbyes to all and sundry and heading out to the UK as excited as Baby George gets when he sees food..... what a one year I had... I learned so much, travelled so much, met so many people, studied spanish ....... whew!
And sometimes you see changes happening in another persons life and that affects you ... like my sister shifting to Mumbai and now being a die hard Mumbai fan.... I cannot think of a time without her now...or my friends who all shifted out of Mumbai one by one cos of educatio, marriage or just a change of city.... or the entry of Baby George into this world..... all of them have affected my life in some way or the other....
I guess there will be many more changes in my life - some good some bad....
Change is constant. Thankgod it is.
Thursday, July 05, 2007
Today when I went to meet Baby George, he was hidden behind a large suitcase... he was trying to decipher the large object in front of him and only gave up the quest when his aunt stormed in... what surprises me is that Baby George is always stunned to see me... he keeps observing me for a while trying to make sense of this moving blob in front of him.... and then he lets out a smile....
and the latest in Baby George's life is that he has two tiny teeth.... they are so tiny that you cant make out that they are there unless you allow him to bite you.... actually you dont need to allow him he will anyways bite you.... and as always he again followed me around the house and came up to the door when I was leaving for office... this time I carried him all the way upto the taxi and made him say good bye to me..... ahh..I love such moments...
and the latest in Baby George's life is that he has two tiny teeth.... they are so tiny that you cant make out that they are there unless you allow him to bite you.... actually you dont need to allow him he will anyways bite you.... and as always he again followed me around the house and came up to the door when I was leaving for office... this time I carried him all the way upto the taxi and made him say good bye to me..... ahh..I love such moments...
Tuesday, July 03, 2007
The One Fetish
I have finally come to terms with the one fetish I have in life - Shoes!... I buy shoes as if my life depends on it.. so I have shoes for rains, shoes for summer, shoes for winter, shoes for office (ofcourse!), shoes for trekking, shoes for formal dinner and myriad other activities that I keep thinking I will undertake....
But recently my fetish for shoes has had quite a painful outcome.... After nearly 3 months I decided to splurge on shoes and trotted off to Metro Shoes... and purchased what I thought were really nice looking pair of shoes... I mean my feet looked nice in them and I could walk in them (in the shop at least)..what more do I need?..... and excitedly wore it in office the next minute... except I didnt stop to consider the effect wood pannelling in my office would have on my dainty little shoes.... I kept slipping and kept holding on to anything (including humans) to prevent a complete humiliation....
and off I stormed to the shop to exchange my one minute old shoe.... and got in its stead another dainty pair of shoes... well I looked nice in them, I could walk in them (I checked on wooden panneling as well)... what more do I need??.... and excitedly wore it in office the next minute.... this time I didnt stop to consider whether the shoes would actually fit me!!! It feels as if the shoes are baying for my blood and I walk around as if I am making my feet do some penance for some past sin....
Penance and me dont look too good together.... and now it is too humiliating for me to go back and change my shoes once again ...
There are two options for me - never wear my shoes again which is completely scandalous to my middle class mentality or become as thin as Victoria Beckam so that my entire body fits into the shoes.. ofcourse in the process I can look like I am doing penance for having ever eaten in my life... hmmm...
But recently my fetish for shoes has had quite a painful outcome.... After nearly 3 months I decided to splurge on shoes and trotted off to Metro Shoes... and purchased what I thought were really nice looking pair of shoes... I mean my feet looked nice in them and I could walk in them (in the shop at least)..what more do I need?..... and excitedly wore it in office the next minute... except I didnt stop to consider the effect wood pannelling in my office would have on my dainty little shoes.... I kept slipping and kept holding on to anything (including humans) to prevent a complete humiliation....
and off I stormed to the shop to exchange my one minute old shoe.... and got in its stead another dainty pair of shoes... well I looked nice in them, I could walk in them (I checked on wooden panneling as well)... what more do I need??.... and excitedly wore it in office the next minute.... this time I didnt stop to consider whether the shoes would actually fit me!!! It feels as if the shoes are baying for my blood and I walk around as if I am making my feet do some penance for some past sin....
Penance and me dont look too good together.... and now it is too humiliating for me to go back and change my shoes once again ...
There are two options for me - never wear my shoes again which is completely scandalous to my middle class mentality or become as thin as Victoria Beckam so that my entire body fits into the shoes.. ofcourse in the process I can look like I am doing penance for having ever eaten in my life... hmmm...
Sunday, July 01, 2007
Mumbai in the Rains
I love the rains and unlike most mumbaikars I love mumbai in the rains.. yes it is slushy, dirty, traffic jam inducing etc etc but look around people - Mumbai actually looks gorgeous! ... I love the rain anywhere but since this is my city I get to kick back and enjoy the rain from my house.... ofcourse in my home in Kottayam I get pampered with home cooked food when it rains.....
so once the rains lashed mumbai like it was going out of style I decided to venture out and capture the mood in mumbai..... and as un- expected my camera discharged just when I took it out ..... so once again I was stuck with a dilemma - to take or not to take..... and finally went with the first option.... in the process I got to see a rain drenched mumbai in all its beauty... and for the first time I went into Prince of Wales museum ..... it is quite nice I must add.... and got to see beautiful parts of Ballard Estate, Horniman Circle, The Naval Dockyard........ and ofcourse there was Taj Mahal hotel and Marine Drive which I didnt capture........
But this was more like a trial run for me... I want to do a proper photo tour soon.... with more planning... and capture Crawford Market, Chor Bazaar, Ban Ganga, Victoria Terminus........ anybody game???
Saturday, June 30, 2007
People Like Us
One of the most irritating things I find about people is when they give me the "people like us" dialogue... Let me explain....
sometimes you are just sitting around discussing and dissecting problems in life - for instance that leaky tap in your house, or the maid that steals your sugar or what will happen in two years....or the perennial problem that women have to discuss about - Weight!!.... and then suddenly the person most affected by the problem inlcudes you in the problem by saying "for people like us it is so difficult"..... and I go completely mad hearing this.... and I feel like screaming - "Listen! Dont inlcude me in your problems. My problems are mine and I have enough of them so I cant be bothered about your problems that you think is a problem for me as well."
Ofcourse that rarely happens and most often I just turn away and change the topic... next time I should probably say "yeah, who would have thought being so damn good looking would cause so many problems".... that way the person also feels good and I come away looking good.....
Thats a plan.
sometimes you are just sitting around discussing and dissecting problems in life - for instance that leaky tap in your house, or the maid that steals your sugar or what will happen in two years....or the perennial problem that women have to discuss about - Weight!!.... and then suddenly the person most affected by the problem inlcudes you in the problem by saying "for people like us it is so difficult"..... and I go completely mad hearing this.... and I feel like screaming - "Listen! Dont inlcude me in your problems. My problems are mine and I have enough of them so I cant be bothered about your problems that you think is a problem for me as well."
Ofcourse that rarely happens and most often I just turn away and change the topic... next time I should probably say "yeah, who would have thought being so damn good looking would cause so many problems".... that way the person also feels good and I come away looking good.....
Thats a plan.
Thursday, June 28, 2007
Wondering Years
Thanks to Zee cafe I now get to catch reruns of famous serials which have been discontinued. One of my all time favorites is "Wonder Years". The show started when I was in school I think and I actually caught up with it only when I came to law school.
Wonder Years takes me to a place of yearning. Mainly I yearn for the things that Paul, Winnie and Kevin have in the serial - a place where you grew up since you were small, a place where your best friend is just across the street, a place where the girl/boy you like lives across the road and a place where you somehow have the space to discover yourself. As always my biggest grouse in life is that I never grew up in a specific place where I could come back to as home, where I could catch up with my childhood buddies and never realise that times have changed since I left town. I doubt whether the new generation in my family also have that since they also keep moving around with their parents.
In law school, I would also feel jealous of my friends who would relate stories of them meeting with their childhood friends over the school break... my friendships actually began in law school and I cant recollect any friend from childhood who I am in touch. It is slightly difficult when you have shifted countries I guess but still.... I yearn for those things that I cant have...
Perhaps its important to focus on the fact that I have changed homes so many times that I can adjust in any place and make new friends easily....
Wonder Years takes me to a place of yearning. Mainly I yearn for the things that Paul, Winnie and Kevin have in the serial - a place where you grew up since you were small, a place where your best friend is just across the street, a place where the girl/boy you like lives across the road and a place where you somehow have the space to discover yourself. As always my biggest grouse in life is that I never grew up in a specific place where I could come back to as home, where I could catch up with my childhood buddies and never realise that times have changed since I left town. I doubt whether the new generation in my family also have that since they also keep moving around with their parents.
In law school, I would also feel jealous of my friends who would relate stories of them meeting with their childhood friends over the school break... my friendships actually began in law school and I cant recollect any friend from childhood who I am in touch. It is slightly difficult when you have shifted countries I guess but still.... I yearn for those things that I cant have...
Perhaps its important to focus on the fact that I have changed homes so many times that I can adjust in any place and make new friends easily....
Tuesday, June 26, 2007
Why am I not excited?
India is all poised to have its first woman president. By all stretch of imagination I should be excited and feeling proud of the fact that women have come so far in this country. But I am just not excited about this new development. the reasons?
Firstly, I will miss Kalam. I remember when I was studying in London people all commented about how India has a rocket scientist as the president. They saw India as being the country where scientists are honoured in this manner. And honestly I felt good that people made such an association.
Secondly, I dont know enough about the new nominee. Having heard about her background it appears to be her closeness to a specific No. 10 that has propelled her to this post. Not a good sign ever.
Thirdly, I feel Indian public doesnot have a voice in this matter. Going by the polls, it appears that people still prefer to have someone like Kalam in the presidents office.
Fourthly, I am always averse to people being promoted cos of gender. While I promote equality I hate the slogan of equality being used to gain advantage. In this specific case however gender may be a secondary consideration.
I also find it extremely ironic that India, with all its backward policies with respect to women, have been more than willing to accept women leaders. I know there is a touch of sentimentality attached to the same but women leaders have stayed put in the political spectrum. And like Time Magazine said India is in all but name being run by an Italian lady with no college education!!.
The dichotomy in India is amazing!
Firstly, I will miss Kalam. I remember when I was studying in London people all commented about how India has a rocket scientist as the president. They saw India as being the country where scientists are honoured in this manner. And honestly I felt good that people made such an association.
Secondly, I dont know enough about the new nominee. Having heard about her background it appears to be her closeness to a specific No. 10 that has propelled her to this post. Not a good sign ever.
Thirdly, I feel Indian public doesnot have a voice in this matter. Going by the polls, it appears that people still prefer to have someone like Kalam in the presidents office.
Fourthly, I am always averse to people being promoted cos of gender. While I promote equality I hate the slogan of equality being used to gain advantage. In this specific case however gender may be a secondary consideration.
I also find it extremely ironic that India, with all its backward policies with respect to women, have been more than willing to accept women leaders. I know there is a touch of sentimentality attached to the same but women leaders have stayed put in the political spectrum. And like Time Magazine said India is in all but name being run by an Italian lady with no college education!!.
The dichotomy in India is amazing!
Friday, June 22, 2007
Am I fat or thin?
Now it is a tradition between Christy and me. Everytime I meet him after a week of dieting I ask Christy (with some trepidation, ofcourse) "Christy, am I fat or thin?"... Christy looks me up and down and always replies "Fat!!"... and without fail this routine ends up with me chasing Christy around the house and finally pinning him down and squeesing him till he gasps "You are thin, Vava aunty"... Ahh...Victory... the only time Christy was ever polite to me was when I was leaving Kerala when he told me "You are little thin" (whatever that means) mainly cos he was feeling sad that i was leaving... I hugged him tighter that day...
Christy being so whimsical, I decided to co-opt Baby George early on to my side... my game plan was to train him from 7 months itself to make sure that he always says "Thin!" when I ask him the question.... and so I pounced this question on an unsuspecting Baby George... he was precariously standing up (holding on to my hand) when I popped the question "Baby George, Am I fat or thin?".... expecting only a knowing nod or a smile from him which can be interpreted to mean only yes.... instead, as if on cue, Baby George reached out and grabbed my cheeks!! as if saying "look at these cheeks. Ofcourse you are fat!"...
But never one to go down without a fight I also zestily grabbed his cheeks and said "You are also fat!".... Baby George smiled....
Christy being so whimsical, I decided to co-opt Baby George early on to my side... my game plan was to train him from 7 months itself to make sure that he always says "Thin!" when I ask him the question.... and so I pounced this question on an unsuspecting Baby George... he was precariously standing up (holding on to my hand) when I popped the question "Baby George, Am I fat or thin?".... expecting only a knowing nod or a smile from him which can be interpreted to mean only yes.... instead, as if on cue, Baby George reached out and grabbed my cheeks!! as if saying "look at these cheeks. Ofcourse you are fat!"...
But never one to go down without a fight I also zestily grabbed his cheeks and said "You are also fat!".... Baby George smiled....
Wednesday, June 13, 2007
Baby George Ka Gussa
Baby George is really growing up.... My sister tells me that he has completely rejected baby food (e.g. farex) in favour of idlis, chapatis and fried rice..... and seeing the portions he eats I suspect he is going to be a bouncy round baby soon..... and he craves for the same things that we crave for... recently in one of our outings, my sister and me were having icecream... Baby George immediately started kicking his legs in the air and leaned across to my ice cream cone... and when we refused to give him he started crying as if we have been denying him food all his life.... he only relaxed when my sister gave him little bits of icecream ... we also quickly ate up our ice cream and Baby George soon forgot what he was crying for...
Baby George has also started crawling now... he follows me around the house... not to mention following my sister surrepticiously into the kitchen and scaring my sister no end.... and now he has realised that some members of his family actually go out everyday and while doing so say 'tata' to him... he clearly thinks he should also be going out like the others ... the other day when I said tata to him to leave for office, Baby George mustered up all the strength he had in his 7 month old body and crawled all the way to the door.... and plonked himself right at my feet and lifted his hands up for me to take him with me.... I am not one to show to emotions... But was that cute or what???? Ofcourse his mother then picked him up and took him to the stairs lulling Baby George into believing that he was also going out just like us...
Why does he want to grow up so soon??? And that too come to office????
Baby George has also started crawling now... he follows me around the house... not to mention following my sister surrepticiously into the kitchen and scaring my sister no end.... and now he has realised that some members of his family actually go out everyday and while doing so say 'tata' to him... he clearly thinks he should also be going out like the others ... the other day when I said tata to him to leave for office, Baby George mustered up all the strength he had in his 7 month old body and crawled all the way to the door.... and plonked himself right at my feet and lifted his hands up for me to take him with me.... I am not one to show to emotions... But was that cute or what???? Ofcourse his mother then picked him up and took him to the stairs lulling Baby George into believing that he was also going out just like us...
Why does he want to grow up so soon??? And that too come to office????
Rain Rain...
Where are the rains????? In all my years at Mumbai I have never wished for the rains so much... its sultry and hot and I find it difficult to sleep in my house.... ofcourse I have the option of fitting in an AC in my house but given my new environmental activism I prefer not to increase consumption of electricity... in any event, the tradition has always been that the heat would come close to boiling point and then the rains would douse it out....
But not this time ... apparently the cyclone "Gonu" in Oman has distracted our sweet little monsoons to go to the gulf rather than come to Mumbai.... What the heck???? And apparently rains have reached Punjab and Shimla while the rest of the country is reeling under a heat wave.... and this is what I want to know - What does Punjab and Shimla have that Mumbai doesnot? Why this step motherly treatment? Why? Why?
And I have made a bargain with the monsoons... if they come soon I shall take pictures of Mumbai in the rains... showing monsoons in all their glory.....
But not this time ... apparently the cyclone "Gonu" in Oman has distracted our sweet little monsoons to go to the gulf rather than come to Mumbai.... What the heck???? And apparently rains have reached Punjab and Shimla while the rest of the country is reeling under a heat wave.... and this is what I want to know - What does Punjab and Shimla have that Mumbai doesnot? Why this step motherly treatment? Why? Why?
And I have made a bargain with the monsoons... if they come soon I shall take pictures of Mumbai in the rains... showing monsoons in all their glory.....
Wednesday, June 06, 2007
Another women centric post... consider yourself warned...
I was recently watching the Donald Trump serial "the Apprentice". I like watching it cos it sort of shows you the kind of things that can go wrong and makes you feel that you are not the only one who screws up once in an while.
In one of the episodes I watched, the finalists were two women... One was an older woman who was married with kids and the other was a younger woman who was not yet married.... and at the final interview session, the 'Donald' asked both of them as to why they want to win.... and the older married woman said of the other younger woman "she wants to win cos she doesnt have anything else in her life to look forward to other than this job".....
That comment just potrayed what is a very common place occurence in society... how women turn on women .... so in case you are single and unattached you welcome such comments from attached people... and in case you are attached your single friends find you weird ... and most career women look down on the stay at home moms or the housewives saying they are not doing anything with their lives.... when all of the above is so untrue!!!! none of these women are more useless or useful due to these things... they are all women who are doing what they love best at that point in time..... to respect that is not asking for too much, I think.....
I dont know who is wrong and who is right... but I do know that women are the worst enemies of women... I doubt whether a single man would look at a married man and make fun of him... or viceversa... Men perhaps dont view each other differently cos of one's relationship status....
Why are women so ready to berate another woman?
P.S. Trump chose the younger woman in the end. Perhaps he also realised that a woman who is so sexist should not be in his team.
I was recently watching the Donald Trump serial "the Apprentice". I like watching it cos it sort of shows you the kind of things that can go wrong and makes you feel that you are not the only one who screws up once in an while.
In one of the episodes I watched, the finalists were two women... One was an older woman who was married with kids and the other was a younger woman who was not yet married.... and at the final interview session, the 'Donald' asked both of them as to why they want to win.... and the older married woman said of the other younger woman "she wants to win cos she doesnt have anything else in her life to look forward to other than this job".....
That comment just potrayed what is a very common place occurence in society... how women turn on women .... so in case you are single and unattached you welcome such comments from attached people... and in case you are attached your single friends find you weird ... and most career women look down on the stay at home moms or the housewives saying they are not doing anything with their lives.... when all of the above is so untrue!!!! none of these women are more useless or useful due to these things... they are all women who are doing what they love best at that point in time..... to respect that is not asking for too much, I think.....
I dont know who is wrong and who is right... but I do know that women are the worst enemies of women... I doubt whether a single man would look at a married man and make fun of him... or viceversa... Men perhaps dont view each other differently cos of one's relationship status....
Why are women so ready to berate another woman?
P.S. Trump chose the younger woman in the end. Perhaps he also realised that a woman who is so sexist should not be in his team.
Sunday, June 03, 2007
Innocence of Children
well what do you know... Baby George didnt recognise me... I blasted into the house hoping to see Baby George smiling but instead all I got were curious stares from Baby George.... and I tried my best to make him remember me..... I picked him up, played with him, made him fly - but he still stared at me..... stared at me in a way that speaks "I know you from somewhere..."..... so I decided that the best way to revive his memory was to recreate a chaotic scene in kerala along with his brother... so christy and I (with baby george tucked safely in my arms) started yelling and jumping around.... and contrary to my expectations Baby George made an upside down smile and started crying!!!!...
The amazing part was that he hugged me even tighter while crying... he didnt let go of me even when his mother came to pacify him... he just kept holding on to me.... perhaps saying "why did you scare me vava aunty. I have just taken a flight and am jet lagged now".... finally I gave him my finger to bite and he calmed down.... and then he let out a small smile.....
Kids are so innocent.... they turn to the ones they are attached to even if they are the ones that scare them.... which reminded me of a story my sister related about Christy at the age of 3.... after having received a sound beating from my sister, Christy went back to my sister and complained about her to her!!!! So innocent...
As for me, I am healing my bitten finger by soaking it in hot water.... the scary thought is what if I have to give my finger to bite everytime I scare children ???? ..........
kids are so innocent... they turn to the ones they are attached to even if they are the ones that hurt them.... so innocent....
The amazing part was that he hugged me even tighter while crying... he didnt let go of me even when his mother came to pacify him... he just kept holding on to me.... perhaps saying "why did you scare me vava aunty. I have just taken a flight and am jet lagged now".... finally I gave him my finger to bite and he calmed down.... and then he let out a small smile.....
Kids are so innocent.... they turn to the ones they are attached to even if they are the ones that scare them.... which reminded me of a story my sister related about Christy at the age of 3.... after having received a sound beating from my sister, Christy went back to my sister and complained about her to her!!!! So innocent...
As for me, I am healing my bitten finger by soaking it in hot water.... the scary thought is what if I have to give my finger to bite everytime I scare children ???? ..........
kids are so innocent... they turn to the ones they are attached to even if they are the ones that hurt them.... so innocent....
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