Watched The Great Gambler - an old AB film which is my latest craze... The man had charisma... But no matter what this movie was completeley stupid... It had good locales, songs, sex appeal etc... And in some way inadequate for me since it didn't show mumbai... Which is what I love abt the old movies... It shows old mumbai ...

The whole movie is turned on the fact that certain people are after a highly confidential state secret... Which turns out to be nothing more than a technology which is useful to protect the coast line.... The technology apparently detects enemy ships and before the enemy ships reacg the coast, it is burnt from a distance...

Wow... I wish our police had watched this movie before - at least the constant stream of ships getting docked at Juhu involuntarily would be detected early...

Hugh Jackman.... Delicious at any age.... in any form....

At least some things in life are mind numbingly good to look at ......

The stock exchange always lets me down.... Whenever I expect from my investment is rarely given when I expect it.... Infact when I am least expecting a return the stock exchange surprises me.... And gives me more than I expected...

Can we say the same about our investments in human relationships?
Afterall as with stocks we are also taking a chance on each of our relationships
... We really can't foretell whether the relationship will bear any dividend or not... And whether ur investment is going to be appreciated or whether it will sink....

I guess that is the thing with investments - be it the stock market or personal relationships.... There is always potential to be surprised....you never know which relationship is going to giving you the dividend... Just when you least expect it....

Are we sexist or what????

"Pak Bomb lands in India" screamed the headlines.... well not an actual bomb .... it was a back handed compliment to Rabbani Khar, the young attractive foreign minister of Pakistan..... and then Headlines Today interviewed her ... where the foreign editor actually asked her... "what is your priority? Is it family, foreign office or polo??"!!!!! Would this question have been asked if the foreign minister was a man with 10 kids at home??? Sir, what is your priority? Is it the 10 kids at home or the fragile Indo - Pak relations?? And what did the interviewer expect her to answer... No no.. I am the foreign minister in name only... I actually represent my husband and only give time to Indo - Pak relations when my kids are asleep at 9 p.m....

Seriously India.... grow up....

On the other hand I did like the headline of Pak Bomb lands in India.... wonder why no such headlines are screaming out when Karzai lands in Delhi.. Afghan Bomb lands in Delhi.... perhaps that is because bombs land in Afghanistan and not from Afghanistan....

Prisoner of ones own device

So one of the outcomes of the robbery in my house is that I have set up a ultra crazy alarm system in my house.... so everynight I am supposed to switch on, go to sleep soundly and when you wake up you switch off the alarm system and proceed with your day as it is...

Now for the catch... things do turn crazy if you forget to switch it off when you wake up.... so there was the minor incident in my house.... where I woke up in the middle of the night and sought to grab a glass of water.... only to be "alarmed" back into my bedroom.... I screamed my way back to the bedroom....

I finally came out only after I had switched off the alarm from behind the door with ony one extended arm braving the space outside my bedroom.....so for a period of time I was a prisoner of my own device....

Things for life from Sports

Swimming:
When you are in deep water - breathe...... and you will float up...

Running

Dont look back... always keep your eye on the finish line.... if you look to who is catching up with you you will most certainly fall back... if you dont, you will most certainly be the first one to finish.....or at least you will finish

Cycling

Release the fifth gear when the task seems uphill... you will release reserves of energy to enable you to take go up the hill....

Yoga

Sometimes you have to be in the weirdest of positions to get the maximum benefits....

What shows for the 35 years I have been on earth??? well I dont want this post to turn out to be a ego boosting exercise... but one of the person I have become.... some of the key changes in my life ...

- I coloured my hair, straigtened my hair, lost my hair and then decided to leave it alone for a while....

- I lost 17 kilos over a period of 1 year... gained 7 of that back in 6 months while on secondment....but then fun has not measure...

- I lost a bit of my innocense.... though I suffer from this malady still...

- I have become more hesitant in making friends.... fragile relationships are a way of life...

- learned to treasure my family....

- love kids more.... I now like children till they are 9....after than I dont like them that much....

- become more concious of public perception

- travelled a lot.... and still want to ...

- loved and lost... still worth it...

- aspired more...

- learnt politics is not really for me...

- loved Mumbai... and then began to see its seamy side....

- realised that some things are just not going to change... the best is to accept it...

- learnt that I am not a super human being... I clearly cannot be invisible....

- learnt that sometimes it is best not to react....

- learnt that I am not always the most controlled person....

Slaps of Mumbai

The last post seems ominous now... given that Mumbai has been rocked by 3 bomb blasts yet again.... and this time I was in a car at Dadar west when the bomb blasts happened ... I heard the blasts... thot they were unusual... and figured it might be somebody bursting crackers... and went my way.... and realised that something had happened only when I got the message that blasts had happened....

As I say... I am even more convinced that Mumbai lives on Ram Barose.... yet again citizens who were anxious to go home get caught in the middle of this all.....

Mumbai delivers slaps to people once in a while... be it the bomb blasts... train blasts... the floods.... every now and then Mumbai acts as a great leveller.....both rich and poor get affected... so you could be driving in your fancy audi and be stuck along side a yellow and black taxi ..... both of you trying to inch your way forward in the traffic jam......

Perhaps that is the reason people in Mumbai dont show off.... they know that everything can be taken away in a minute.... and that you are no different from the others...

After the November 26th attack in Mumbai there was a stream of angst from the public.... who the hell is protecting us??? how can terrorists armed to the teeth sail across the border and hold the city hostage???? where were the powers that be who were supposed to protect us???? Anger poured out into the streets of Mumbai and evryone discovered their voice....

The anger remains but the voice doesnt... as with everything else in Mumbai the chaos has overtaken the fears... people just got swept away once in the business of making a life...

The toughness of life of a mumbaikar becomes manifest day in and day out to me.... starting with the morning newspaper walla who doesnt come to your house on time... to the lady who cleans your house.... to your cook... your life is a well oiled machinery completely dependant on the professionalism of individuals who probably dont know the meaning of that english word.... what works in Mumbai is the "zabaan"... the words carry more strenghth in this city than the written code... throwing lawyers like me redundant.... I trust my maids to come to my house on time... I trust my maids not to steal from me... I trust my maids not let people into my house... I trust their zabaan.... as much as they trust my zabaan that I will pay them a certain amount of money every month.... in some strange way Mumbai is running on the strenth of the "zabaan".....

You come out to the streets of mumbai and you see life operating in an "organised chaos" basis... there is some rhythm to the chaos.... horns blaring, cars stalling, kids crossing, buses plying, street vendors selling magazines... everybody wants a place in the streets of mumbai... to get on with the business of making a life... and I keep wondering to myself... what prevents another attack on Mumbai?

I mean who is to stop a mad man from running across the street strapped with bombs and blowing himself up... who is to prevent another sea borne attack? everyday you come upon wide gaps in the city's machinery which could have converted into a full fledged attack...and as I drive away I keep hoping that no crazy person with the intent to kill has noticed the gaping hole in the thin fabric of mumbai life....

and I wonder what keeps the city going.. and I can only express it one word ... everything in this city runs on "Ram Barose"... in the faith that God will look after one and all... if you die, then God just wanted you to die that way... if you lived, God just wanted you to live for something....

I wonder whether there is any other city in the word where 20 million people live on sheer faith.... as they say God Knows... or should I say Ram Knows....

In a strange sense what you really thought was most irritating is actually the most important aspect of your life....

I also realised that I am much too poor for my desires.....

Mumbai Musings

Its tough living in Mumbai... everybody agrees.... when they get the time to think about the questions that is.... everybody is in a rush.... rush to get to office, rush to make it back home, rush for the movie, rush before the rains start, rush before the traffic gets bad... rush rush rush....

the Neeraj Grover murder case has been hitting the headlines....for good reason.... the macabre murder shocked everyone... more so because these were people just like you and me who committed the murder.... my parents also weighed in on the issue... according to my dad all 3 parties were wrong... all three??? huh?? what did the victim do?? I pondered loudly.... I should have expected my dad's reply... "why did he go and spend the night at her house? when they are not married?? if you do such things you will get killed" hmmm....I wonder whether that was a subtle message to me from my dad...

in other news my tata sky plus goes blank when the rain starts... nwo I would have thot that they would have enough research done to withstand mumbai monsoons... instead it goes completely blank even during the lightest rains... so I was completely pissed off.... and called customer service .... blah blah blah I complained... only to hear the person tell me... "madam there is nothing wrong with tata sky. What is wrong is your expectation from Tata Sky. Dont expect it to wrok during the rain"..... whattttt?????????????????

Mumbai is a tough place to live in... slowly your good humour also loses sheen... and probably sleep... and added to that there will be no TV during the sleepless nights.....

so baby george has become too smart for his little boots....apparently his latest addiction is a computer game.... which he plays day and night.... much to the concern of his mother..... but the alarm bells were set off when Baby George feigned illness everyday refusing to go to school.... only for his mother to notice that he was never ill to play on the computer....

so now there has been a complete crackdown on his access.... and Baby George is apparently very unhappy with attending school....apparently computer generated figurines aer betetr company for baby george

When bad things happen ... you should know that this is only the lull before the storm of good comes your way....

You know what... i am not giving in.... come on.... lets see how far this goes on...

Sometimes all you want is a hug from someone who cares for you and tells you that everything is alright... and in a very Shah Rukh way - Main Hoon Na...

Hmmmm... I wonder whether you can buy that from the stores nowadays.... the CD of Main Hoon Na that is....

I have always heard it... but never really believed in it... but when you dont get something you really want... then probably God spared you that....

So this is a story about a friend of mine... who promised to visit me in London.... and excitedly chartered out her holiday plans in front of the family.... the family responded..."arree you are going to London? WHy dont we also come with you?'.... friend explains and I am very happy to have her parents also visit me.... good good good....

cut to 3 weeks later... friend calls me to say that there is a change in plan...what change I asked?... my friend reluctantly explained....well... now we are not coming to London.... you see my entire family is now travelling with me... and by entire family I mean my uncles, aunts, nephews, 2nd cousins etc.... they all applied for UK visa but some of them got rejected... so now all of us are going to Europe instead....including our Maharaj (the cook).....

So that is how an entire Gujju family travelled around Europe in a volvo bus ... with periodic breaks to eat the Thepla and Kakhra....and lamenting the fact that there is no Jain food anywhere in Europe.....as they say the Gujjus are the "Japanese" tourists from India... you can spot them a mile away ....

my only question to my friend was ... can you send me some Thepla from Interlaken?

not that i have been going around looking for it...but so much talk around me is about women... there is the debate about whether Indian women politicians are as good as their male counterparts( when actually it should be are they as bad?)... whether Womens Reservation Bill should be passed...

One of the new ideas that came about was the Slut Walk... now this is a walk where women dress as they want to give out the message that they are not the ones who attract the people... the people who attack women based on their clothes is actually at fault.... for long it has been the lot of women to suffer the attack and also the guilt of somehow having brought it on themselves.... I completely see the point of this walk.... and hope it takes place.... a womans right to dress as she wants without being cornered is very critical to her existence...

On one hand there is this advanced thinking... on the othere there is the daily hindi soaps we see on TV... now yes I like channel surfing and sometimes when it looks good I stop by to follow... and one such serial had a scene where there are 3 men... two of them are washing clothes... in walks a woman... apparently she is the estranged daughter in law....she looks at these men washing the clothes and asks them what they are doing.... and they respond that since she has left them now they have to do all the household stuff.... and in typical bharatiya nari style she looks at them in a guilty way and admits that washing clothes is actually her job....and gets her hand down and dirty immediately... relieving the young men from their hell.....suffice to say this serial put the woman in her place....

when will such subtle messages be discarded in our society?

Alright ... enough with this civil society jazz.... I mean I have a lot of respect for people working on the sidelines... which somehow makes me live better with my middle class guilt of sitting in an AC office and working for a corporate honcho....

but seriously I dont like the way the Civil Society members are behaving.... do they really think they can bulldoze members of elected parliament? do they really think that they represent India more than the elected members? do they really believe that the best way to negotiate is to call the other side cheats and liars?? where will all this stop?? when do we see maturity and a process of give and take...

I honestly believe this government has done enough to placate the civil society members... and I honestly believe this government is doing the right thing by drawing the line now as well... and telling the civil society members that they will not be threatened anymore... so if you want to go on a fast and die .. please do so... we will also be at liberty to take whatever action is necessary...

and the world at large - what is with them?? do they not see the dangerous precedent being set by the civil society members?? do they not see how you are gradually diluting your electoral process by getting non elected member dictate to the government?? so why are you criticising the government for taking a tough stand based on what they know best - governance!so please let the government do its job... by all means keep the vigilance going... but dont let your guard down...

Sometimes I just dont understand people.... more specifically I cant understand some women...

I had two conversations with two different women from different ends of the spectrum.... to both I asked the question, where are you from? innocuous enough...to which both replied their respective communities "I am a gujarati" or "I am a Sindhi".... ofcourse I didnt think much of that... and may have even volunteered details of where I am from... only later when conversaions went deeper did I realise that these women were actually from totally different communities... they were actually saying that they are from the community that they were married into!! So these women had changed their entire identity to that of the husbands... and it seems they had even changed their genes!

I mean how does one lose their original identity by marriage... do you suddenly become a South Indian just because your spouse is from South India?? by that logic do you become educated just because your spouse is educated??

while my attempts to ask them these questions were met with a lot of disdain... but I seriously started wondering...

Whether women themselves are behind their own devaluation???? something to think about...... and something for me to also think about as well - why I think so differently....