So finally after dodging it for so many years, I have finally got a cast in my leg... it all happened innocuosly enough.... a slight mishap which had major consequences.... I was out for my early morning jog... and I slipped on one of the many uneven pavement tiles .... and there I was rolling on the road with twisted angle.... doc suspects a small crack in my bone.... so net net I am now with crutches with my leg in a cast for 3 weeks! oh joy...
so I decided to utilise this period to understand what a handicapped person goes through in life... in a way chronicle my experiences... ofcourse I have to say that I am really really reallly blessed... I have help... I can afford doctors... I have friends who come and help... I have priveleges which many may not have for which I am eternally grateful.... but neverthless handicap is something that affects all in some way or the other... so like they say I decided to walk in the shoes of a handicapped person to really understand what they are going through....
First off...i feel odd limping around on my crutches... while people are gracious and always helping, I just feel like I am standing out in the crowd... and I attract attention... now I am never to shy away from attention... but somehow I feel like I am kinda of odd looking with crutches...
you are also suddenly concious that you are dependant on the mercy of many strangers... for instance I cannot get down on the steps that easily....I have wait...put my crutches on them and carefully come down.... now this becomes easier with some help around... and strangers are so helpful... the other thing is opening doorss.... with your hands busy, opening doors have to necessarily be at the mercy of strangers.... and I am one for never taking any undue favors and feel really bad taking it.... I dont even ask friends for favours and to suddenly depend on strangers is a new cup of tea for me... and I dont even drink tea!
simple things become a matter of planning for you.... like going to the ATM.... you have to calculate how many steps there are and how you will reach the ATM.... otherwise you ask your friends to withdraw money for you.... or the usual walk to the cafetaria is now a trek... with lots of stops.... and you feel bad because others are trailing behind you....
with one leg your daily life gets stopped... taking a bath is a process... wrap the plastic around your leg and then hop over... ahh... alll in all a tedious process....
with your leg in a cast, you feel blessed to be able to reach office... and be at office... otherwise your mind becomes a battlefield.... so while it is excruciatingly painfuly walk to the office I really like to be around people who entertain me... I just get relief.... but at the end of the day you realise that your leg is all swollen up because you have not put the leg in an elevated position... now that is even more odd... imagine sitting in office with one leg up... everyday I have been coming back from office with my leg feeling as heavy as iron rods with all the swelling....
its a good thing I come from a family of doctors.... I get regular consultation and medical advice.... which keeps me going...
now a walk in the dirty roads of mumbai will also be a blessing.... all in all I long for the day when I can walk on my own two feet.... and not have to balance out with anybody helping me.... its such a blow to your self confidence that you are immobilised....
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