I am exhausted and tired... I desperately need R&R... and yet I dont get the time or space to do it...... Running from one place to another, from one engagement to another, one challenge to another..... I sure hope I can rest peacefully at the end of all this......

What a shameful end to a movement that held a lot of promise... the world watched as a Gandhian straddled the nation cutting across religion, caste and politics on one common yet simple platform of anti-corruption drive.... if there was any lingering doubt of a united India it ended with the show of support that came in for this self sacrificing obviously patriotic man from across India... Kashmir to Kanykumari everybody supported him... everybody went crazy about "Anna" and proudly sported "I am Anna" caps... not a mean feet... just when we thought there was no end to the scams that this country could produce we got a hero in the nick of time....

I myself supported the old man... and thanked God that I was an Indian... that we had consistently challenged authority in a peaceful manner... I was also an ardent supporter of the Government... I didnt believe that politicians were all bad... I trusted democracy... and to the extent the Government relented in having a 10 member panel to discuss the lokpal bill I was satisfied... the Government had been brought down to its knees and that was enough for me... I didnt want anything else... not to topple it not to bring another party in power... just getting the government to respond...

then I saw the movement trip over its own importance... they overstayed their welcome.. .people were happy to achieve a compromise... and then go back home to their lives... nobody wanted a displacement of Government... Team Anna forgot their own humble origins.. and presumed knowledge for you and me... and declared famously on TV that Anna is above Parliament... Oh come on... and combined with the constant "we are just friends" dialogue when it came to BJP when it was obvious that they were sleeping with each other (at least the parent RSS was)... Neutrality was thrown out of the window.... and you had a movement that was slowly inching towards "annhilate COngress" mode... I stepped back... I didnt want a BJP Government... I wanted this Government -only better ..... and then the final nail on the coffin was the campaign against the Congress in the various states.... shamelessly BJP tried to gain mileage out of it and gave away the elections to the smaller parties...

and now the announcement that they would join politics and form a party ..... With Kejriwal demanding that we should topple the Government.... If there was any doubt about how immature this movment was this was it... no sagacity... no compromise... no understanding... far from the mentor Gandhi they used to keep invoking before every fast.....

I am happy for the circus to end..... happy also that they have a political outlet... I fear people like Kejriwal who believe they know best.... it will be a case of Mamta Didi in Bengal - where any opposition to her is branded as communist agenda... Kejriwal will be like one of those people who will shout "you Congress" everytime anybody questions him.....

Ramadan

Ramadan was always a significant festival growing up - in Oman we had the whole society become different when the ramadan descended on us... we could not eat outside, my father had no water to drink in the hospital, we were always careful not to appear to enjoy lives.... and our schools also closed before time....in India I did not have any such exposure to this festival - not to a significant extent at least...

so it was after a long time that I ventured out to discover this muslim festival (not sure whther it is infact a festival).... and came away delighted... Mohammed Ali Road was always a far away destination which I had always heard of as bustling with activity during ramadan... I always wanted to go but didnt have the guts to... or the company.. nobody wanted to venture out to that part of the world... would it be safe? will there be women? will I be molested? I went with all these apprehensions ... and came away feeling gleeful at having discovered a little more about my city... that it is one of the most vibrant cities in the world... I mean this is the city where a christian woman could walk down the street at 12 in the night taking photos!!! and people were only too happy to oblige... with many of them asking me why I was not eating properly!!

my walk down Moh Ali Road can be summed up in 4 words - food, food, food, food.... it was all about eating ... ... the colourful jalebis, kababs, bread, soup, briyani.... I walked down feeling odd that I was not munching something... and women were combing the area like no other .... they were shopping for sandals whils straddling their 2 years old on their hips... and walking merrily around with no apparent fear.... I also got a glimse of bollywood when Imran Khan came to break his fast... there was a small chaos... and i managed to capture his face...

This is what I love about Mumbai.. even in the muck and dirt there is some magic....

Ban Ganga

A big milestone in my life is approaching next month.... and after years and years of dreaming what it would be like to finally complete the milestone, finally when it is at my doorstep I am most ill prepared... and i really wish I could do all the things I had planned to do for that milestone... share it with so many people...

alas... not to be .... as my life has been the past few months - everything will be in a rush and I will not even get the time to breathe and take it all in....

Have you ever seen a wall of your house collapse? What do you go through when you see that wall which was till now a major part of your house is no longer standing?

Immediately you feel a sense of fear, you dream of the various unwanted elements that can come into your house since there is no wall anymore... and wonder whether you will ever be safe again... and then you weep for having taken that wall for granted... and you attempt to immediately reconstruct the wall... but it will take time... and it is not easy....

and you learn to live with the fear till such time that the wall in built....

So Yahoo is set to have a woman CEO after many trials and errors over the last 2 years... now the obvious fact that it is a woman heading a global organisation is itself startling.... and to boot the fact that she is a mother of 5 already with a 6th on the way is a huge thumps up everywhere for women all around the world.... constantly women I know have had to choose either one of the options- career or children... and most often (and very rightly in their view) so the option is to have children and forgo on their career... most women are happy to do it but somewhere I am sure there is a feeling of having missed the boat.. or a sinking feeling of whether you will ever be relevant to anyone outside of your family.... while on balance many women are content, given the off beat chance that all women are not made same there may be instances when a woman must be looking longingly at her degree.... close on the heels of this annoucement was a study which proved that women are actually becoming than men

so can a woman have it all? in my view she can... if her husband is supportive... and the family helps out as much as they would help out a man...then a woman can have it all...  and I dont think this should by any chance be considered as a beacon call for all women to have a career and children... its ultimately her decision to make...

everytime i feel a dip, a click gets me back.... yes, I take photos to uplift my moods... it must be something to do with creativity.... mumbai in the rains is very tough to capture with a camera... I tried anyways...

It was like any other day.... I woke up in the morning to go for my morning walk, carrying with me the windcheater to protect me against sudden burst of rain.... in the monsoon that is essential you see.... as is my practice I walked through St. Andrews church... to quickly talk to God and ask him how is doing before walking on towards Bandstand.... did a quick prayer after carefully removing my headphones (you dont want to be disrespectful to God) and quickly put it back on after I had done my short and sweet conversation with God (mostly onesided).... I take a turn and lo and behold the most unexpected thing happens to me.... I see 2 women crouching on the floor... I go closer to see what happened and see a most unexpected sight.... a little baby wrapped up head to toe with a milk bottle right next to her lying on the floor in the drizzle.... an abandoned baby ... and instinctively I know that it is a girl... a beautiful, sweet, small baby... not more than 15 days old I would think... at first I thot the women had dropped the baby down.... but the baby was not crying....the frantic search for something by the women made me think that this is an unusual situation..... Last thing I saw the women had bundled up the baby and taken it inside to the church... and feeding her with the milk bottle that was left beside her by the unidentified person who abandoned her.... Sometimes God gives to those who dont want it .... and doesnt give to those who want it badly.... in my next conversation with God I will discuss the importance of system correction with him... to give the have nots before the haves... overhaul is highly recommended in the distribution of blessings.....

Today somebody remarked that they need some softness in their life... .and I immediately thought of Baby George ......

What are the essential ingredients that you should have in life? I dont know the answer and I doubt there is an answer that is right.... but here is my list... a. A good hobby: this is your alternate profession if the main profession really gets to you b. A friend in need: You are lucky if you have this one so please grab it and hold on to it... a friend you can call and scream, cry, shout with ... and next day behave as if life is just normal... you are even luckier if that person is your spouse c. a mentor: a person you look up to... and feel great when you get that pat on the back... and one you are afraid to let down in any situation.... that mentor keeps you in check... d. children: I think they are a critical ingredient - I was never one to crave for kids but I think my nephews made me see the fun side of life.... my sister thinks I have only seen the fun things and hence I love children now... probably true... but you dont necessarily have to have your own kids... you can love kids anyways.. e. a plan for your 60s: whether you will be learning karate, yoga, scuba diving is your choice... mine is to fine an isolated villa and lock myself in. f. a dream that is an aspiration: a dream that is so difficult to achieve that you constantly strive to achieve that... a dream that will make you stronger because it doesnt kill you...

I see it going away.. and I am scared to let it go... but I know it is in my best interest.... so why am I scared to let it go ? and if my mind knows that it is in my best interest, why is my heart not listening.... damn this complicated life....

Home.... finally..... so much to do still.... God, I know you will send help..... actually if you send some cash my way also i will be happy :)

The job of the Prime Minister of India is extremely hard... given that I wonder why anyone goes through the trouble of being one... and risk being assasinated at that .... I know it is too simplistic an analysis

So many thots that occupy my mind in the course of the week and I never get down to penning it... so what have I been thinking about? the monsoons for one thing... there is something so gorgeous about Mumbai during the rains... ofcourse I understand that it is easy for me to say that it is the beautiful season in Mumbai when I dont take the trains... but i have some experience in that department but nevertheless I think monsoons are the best part of Mumbai..... after the heat the whole city gets enveloped in a blanket of cold rain... it calms me down immediately... I feel peaceful... as if the rains are cleaning all the ikky things of mumbai.... ofcourse that is far from the truth... yday in my enthusiasm to enjoy the rains I started walking in bandra.... only to immediately jump into the refuge of an auto when I realised that every car passing by was splashing mud on me... note to the world: Mumbai is not europe where walking is a pleasure...here people actually are a hindrance to the roads....... My friends and I were having a debate.. .about why is it that India is so different.. there is a pall of negativity that surrounds you as soon as you get off that international airport in Bandra... not to mention the stench of dettol swept floors.... I have had a few unpleasant incidents greet me at airports - mostly to do with taxi drivers.... all of them are foul mouthed and create a fuss everytime there is a slight change in plans...you get abused and threatended... and you end up feeling intimidated in your city/home... you hate that feeling.... we all concluded that one of the reasons why Mumbai/India is like this is that there are limited resources... everyone is fighting for the same pie...everyone is trying to outdo the other... and everyone things that life is about that coveted position (I am not denying that it is a very lofty ambition)... but to have your life entirely designed around that ambition is what is so screwed up about India... we forget that life is also more meaningful when you have other things in life .... I also thot about my generation of professionals... somehow this generation really lost the plot... we stopped being simple and started becoming very much a clone of the other... so everytime I go into meetings I see women dressed in crisp neat suits resembling a female lawyer from law and order (ofcourse even the sales woman at Shoppers Stop looks like that but that is another matter)... and there are some cliches which just bug me... everybody will have a ferrogamo tie, a mont blanc pen or accessory, a black berry, an Ipad now and ofcourse the fancy accent... we are all such suckers for such accented english.... we forget that we are in parel India and think we are in manhattan ... when did it become more about the show than about the profession... that is why I respect some of my seniors in the profession who are so brilliant but do not have the need for any paraphernalia to add to their resume.... am i that simple? heck no... but who says I cant complain?

I am not really great at forgiving... it is a flaw... I take a lot of time to realise that I dont want to put up with a situation and then when least expected I snap and move on.... but I never forget... or forgive... I just cut them off... and while I have always felt that cutting off is much better than pretending to be nice to each other I also realise that better than cutting off someone it is best to forgive that someone.... otherwise you end up holding grudges for years (without realising it) and stewing in your soup... Ahh I feel so lighter ......

Is jealousy the best form of flattery??? As in what about the saying that if someone is saying bad things about you, you should be happy cos that means you are doing really well.... does it hold water... I somehow think so.... if someone is concious of your happiness and wants to pull you down they will try and throw some mud at you... it demonstrates two things - i) the persons insecurity (ii) your own superiority in the other person's eyes....

It seems I can influence the stock market..... so everytime I decide to offload some shares the market tanks ... last time I decided the sensex plunges below the 17000 mark.... and then one of my scrips actually hit the 52 week low exactly on the day that I decided to sell... Shhh..... dont tell the stock market but I am planning to hold on to the shares till 2015...

Aamir Khan - hats off to him.... i mean the guy recreates himself with every movie.. and now with a show that is hard hitting... The first show on female foeticide touched a lot of people... I have given a lot of thought about why females are often killed by their own parents... and after a lot of thinking I realised in childhood itself that it boils down to economics!!! Yes, everything is about money, honey.... so for instance it is not far fetched to assume that females are not wanted in society because of the economic strain they cause the parents... the moment a female is born her parents have to fret over her dowry... how will they pay for getting a girl married off? how will poor farmers afford it?? and everyone who has faced that doubt about where they will get their next meal from will understand that it is indeed a really pathetic place to start from as far as raising a family is concerned... in that analysis unfortunately it is the female children that loses out.. a parent would rather have blood on their hands than the commitment to look after her for so many years and then have to pay money to get her married off.... why are women considered an economic burden? simply cos she does not get the same opportunity as a man.... she is not given the opportunity of making any livelihood on her own... she is not standing on her own financial strength in the family ............. and that is not to say that she is wiling away her time... most often her chores around the house of cooking cleaning and looking after the kids is not monetised and hence lacks the respect that these chores deserve..... net net a woman looses out completely... yes times are changing.. and I would like to believe that women have come a long way in establishing her place in society.... but the sword that hangs over every father when a girl is born cannot be taken away.... or denied... he looks up and he is made to take the decision of allocating limited resources amongst equal and competing claims... and he makes the choice that so many before him have made... that it is best to bet on the know devil (read boy) than an unknown devil... at least the boy wont take the wealth away from his home.... a girl may or may not be around... It is all a twisted fate... a woman is born with such negative expectations about her that for her to fight and prove herself is itself a task... is it any wonder that most of the high level posts in society are still occupied by men and the few women who occupy are there on account of their men??? which is why my blood boils everytime a smart women drops off from college to pursue marital life.. or a smart woman is forced to leave her career behind when she has a child... why???? cos what did we fight so hard for??? we fought so hard to get recognised as a force to reckon with and then women who give up that opportunity to make a mark sure does a disservice to women everywhere.... I feel women are caught in a bind.. she is judged if she is a career woman and judged if she isnot as well.... both hit her hard enough... I am sure God did not intend the world to be so cruel for women.. God must have expected men to show some form of maturity in treating their physically weaker counterpart... alas that was not to be ....

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