Yes I am. Sitting numb watching TV. Waiting for the terror strike to end. Waiting for Mumbai to breathe again. Waiting to let myself grieve.
No. I am not trying to sensationalise anything. I am just trying to be human again. To feel fear. To accept fear. To acknowledge that I am feeling scared and threatened. To allow myself to feel lost and helpless. And above all to feel anger.
Yes I am angry. Angry at the Government who let this happen. Angry at Narendra Modi for milking this situation. Angry at L.K. Advani for trying to get mileage. Angry at Manmohan Singh for total collapse of leadership. Angry that at a time like this, India has not leaders who can inspire us.
Am I justified? I dont know. I just know that I do. I am angry, sad, lost, confused, worried and scared. Yes I am. And I dont know whether I Can.
Sunday, November 30, 2008
Thursday, November 20, 2008
Bdays and all that goes with it
So October - November is a big month in my family for b'days... first there is me! and then within 3 days of each other Christy and Baby George celebratet their b'day.... so this year was the 8th b'day for Christy and 2nd b'day for Baby George... Last year I remember having bought Christy a remote control ferrai car... yayyyyy!!! I think the ferrai car is now languishing in the bottom of my sisters "never to be used" again pile... so when I asked him what he wanted this year, Christy was prompt in his response - he wanted a remote control car! Again! So when I reminded him (more than once) that I gave him a remote control car last year as well Christy finally in exasperation said "How many times are you going to keep saying the same thing?"... well the kid knows how to shut me up....
Last year for Baby George was quite a blur... I really dont think he knew that he had turned a year old... and spent most of his time eating and sleeping.... not that it was any different this year round... he still slept and ate ...and I decided to gift him books......
except for one difference - Baby George decided to fight his brother for the remote control car!....
So there I was watching a 2 ft Baby George pulling at the remote control with all his might and screaming "gie me" and Christy refusing to let go at any cost.... I am not sure what the outcome was ..... except that I am pretty sure the car cannot be driven again....
Last year for Baby George was quite a blur... I really dont think he knew that he had turned a year old... and spent most of his time eating and sleeping.... not that it was any different this year round... he still slept and ate ...and I decided to gift him books......
except for one difference - Baby George decided to fight his brother for the remote control car!....
So there I was watching a 2 ft Baby George pulling at the remote control with all his might and screaming "gie me" and Christy refusing to let go at any cost.... I am not sure what the outcome was ..... except that I am pretty sure the car cannot be driven again....
Thursday, November 06, 2008
Obama - oh what a day
This is just illogical. I mean I am an Indian. I am not the one who would be affected (at least not directly). I have issues in my life that he will never be able to solve. Yet why is it that I feel that Obama's victory is in some way a victory for all ....
I have been feeling elated ever since Obama was declared the new president of the United States. I saw the black man walking with his black family on stage greeting the american people courageously saying "Yes, we did". Truly an inspirational moment! To me the victory of Obama represents the victory of all people who have ever doubted their capability of overcoming innumerable obstacles. Its an inspiration to people who are constantly berated, constantly told that you are not in the pecking order of things, that you should be grateful that we allow you to breathe without any taxes, who constantly go to bed with a heart as heavy as lead wondering what purpose they serve in life. For them, Obama is an inspiration.
Personally for me, I loathe the drama that accompanies the US election. The ballons, graffiti, the crowd arousing speeches. But I have to admit, despite my obvious support for Hillary, I rooted for Obama silently. His presence, his calm demeanour, his diction, his freshness etc in some way made me long for a leader like that in my own country. I know Manmohan Singh is not a bad PM but is it him that I am inspired to vote - no Sir. Having heard stories from my father about how Nehru and Gandhi inspired millions of India in an era where there was no internet, telephone or even planes, I always saw leaders in that manner - committed, determined, thinking of the greater good and above all inspirational.
But today its about the man who came from difficult and strange background to become the most powerful man in the world ( I hate acknowledging it). And if I knew him personally I would say - Thankyou! Cos now I believe that anything is possible for me. I dont have to be bogged down by the limitations that the world sees in me. I can change.
Yes, I can. Yes, I can. Yes, I can.
I have been feeling elated ever since Obama was declared the new president of the United States. I saw the black man walking with his black family on stage greeting the american people courageously saying "Yes, we did". Truly an inspirational moment! To me the victory of Obama represents the victory of all people who have ever doubted their capability of overcoming innumerable obstacles. Its an inspiration to people who are constantly berated, constantly told that you are not in the pecking order of things, that you should be grateful that we allow you to breathe without any taxes, who constantly go to bed with a heart as heavy as lead wondering what purpose they serve in life. For them, Obama is an inspiration.
Personally for me, I loathe the drama that accompanies the US election. The ballons, graffiti, the crowd arousing speeches. But I have to admit, despite my obvious support for Hillary, I rooted for Obama silently. His presence, his calm demeanour, his diction, his freshness etc in some way made me long for a leader like that in my own country. I know Manmohan Singh is not a bad PM but is it him that I am inspired to vote - no Sir. Having heard stories from my father about how Nehru and Gandhi inspired millions of India in an era where there was no internet, telephone or even planes, I always saw leaders in that manner - committed, determined, thinking of the greater good and above all inspirational.
But today its about the man who came from difficult and strange background to become the most powerful man in the world ( I hate acknowledging it). And if I knew him personally I would say - Thankyou! Cos now I believe that anything is possible for me. I dont have to be bogged down by the limitations that the world sees in me. I can change.
Yes, I can. Yes, I can. Yes, I can.
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