Some interesting questions that I would like to answer:

1) when you were little, what did you want to be when you grew up?

Hmmm...I wanted to be a scientist... I was very inspired by Madame Curie (the first femal nobel price winner) that I kept telling my dad that I want to be her when I grow up... do I regret not being a scientist? Does anyone regret leaving something they are not good at ? And I recollect that during my time in India one of my relatives asked me the same question - and for some strange reason I said a lawyer...

2) Define Freedom

To me freedom is the ability to be yourself.... and pursue your dreams without unnecessary constraints.... to do whatever you want to do .... the freedom to be someone you always wanted to be

3) What is the first thing that pops in your head when you think of your mother?

Vulnerable.

4) Do I owe an apology to anyone? Why?

To many people... for my bad heartless behaviour... for not being the bigger person in a conflict....for even putting down people when clearly they are better off than me... I am sorry

5) If you met yourself as a 16 year old, what would you tell yourself?

a. Stop worrying about the acne marks.
b. You are better than you think you are
c. Dont wonder why you dont have a boyfriend like the other girls - none of the boys around you measure up anyways.
d. Life is too large for you to concentrate on the small people who are bothering you now.
e. I love your determination
f. Dont lose sight of your goals in life cos of a man
g. Take care of yourself - eat well, control your weight and be happy
h. Forgive others
i. be generous to others and be kind. Someday somebody's kindness will help you.
j.Believe in destinty and God - everything turns out best

6) What is your greatest fear?

That I wont have anyone to have a good laugh and good conversation with

7) If you could take a train journey and go to any part of the world where would you go?

To Russia.

8) What is the one food you cannot live without

Curd.

9) Tell us everything you know about the day you were born

Well I have been told that my mom ate lunch and was sleeping when I kicked myself out into the world at 3:30 p.m. It was on October 2 and hence I presume there would have been a lot of celebrations and talks about Gandhi. It was also during the emergency so I presume life would have been a little more controlled. Either ways my parents tell me that I was a beautiful baby (yes people) and every relative who came to see me complimented my mother.

10) What is the first thing you notice about a person?

His/her confidence. I notice the way the person stands (sometimes a person tries to stand really talll to show that he is important and ends up being the smallest person), the way the person smiles (a smile is like a window - I always catch a glimse of the persons personality when I see a person smile - he is a good person, he is a crook, still waters run deep), the way the person looks at you. Close second, I notice the way the person dresses up. Even though I am guilty of this a well dressed person always means that the person takes care of himself or herself... and hence values oneself a lot more..

11) Do you still have dreams?

Hell yeah!

A friend and I discussed recently about what one wants to do in life....my friend entreated that she wants to do something "big"... something that would take my friend away from the "small" in life... and I listened curiously...

I was caught by this bug early on in life... that somehow I wanted to be more useful in society.. that the purpose of ones life is to be able to do something spectacular... and after a process of trying to figure out what i wanted to be in life I came to the sad conclusion that I am probably never going to do anything spectacular for the world, that very few people actually end up changing the world and that the world has enough people competing for what you are aiming for... so rather than focussing on what I could do for the world I decided to focus on what I could do for myself.... at least one of us(me and the world) is happy with that...

and while today I consider myself to be a lawyer and focus my energy on doing a good job, sometimes I do feel the need to explore and break out of the conventional mode of living ... something that would make me sparkle inside... something that convinces me that my life is not only about the mundane....

and then I also wonder is this an eternal quest that everybody is engaged in? or is it just me?

The murky world of our politics

Now I love following political news... how parties garner votes and how some squandered away the opportunity to make this country better....I am not sure why I like politics but it might have something to do with my father who was a staunch follower of such news... I like the combinations, like the compromises that are drawn up, like the ability of politicians to connect with the people and also the ability to improve the lot of the people....

However I have been following the murky dealings of the Sohrabuddin murder case... where the home minister of Gujarat gave direct orders to kill the man... and they did! how? Cos they could! I cant believe in this day and age politicians have such a say in a person's life...the audcaity of a Government to actually sponsor a death... not to mention the carnage that they inflicted on muslims after Godhra... and the most amazing part, Indians always voted the same Government back.... to think the Chief Minister Modi actually thinks this is a war between national and anti-national forces...

Mr. Modi. Please do not speak for the rest of India. We really hope you didnt authorise such behaviour (cos that would shake my belief that only good governments get back to power) but please do not position yourself as a nationlist on our behalf. I am a Christian and I am also a patriotic Indian.

And to think BJP actually proposed his name as the PM for the country!! I am so glad the BJP is not in power and the mess they are in doesnot seem to indicate that they will be in power anytime soon.

I hope Manmohan Singh stays in good health.

So I have joined for watercolour painting classes starting this weekend... and I am yet to buy all the art supplies... now when I signed up for the classes I thot I would just have to land up in class and a few strokes of my brush I would have a masterpiece in my hands... no... I have to still buy the supplies... and today I thot I would brave the Washington heat and go and buy.... but lo and behold when I went out, what greets me? the Rain!!!! so I have come back to my desk and waiting for the rain to go so that little alice can go and buy...

why painting? Cos I read somewhere that the best way to relax for a lawyer is to paint.... something about how colours make you happy.... I know I am terrible at painting but somewhere I feel I have a creative side to me... and I want to find out what that is.... there is something so magical about the brush strokes bringing a place or an event to life... and I love that process of transformation...

This is in addition to the photography classes that I have taken and where I have got the unexpected learning that everybody in the world wants to be a photographer... and I am not really good at it... but I still love it... and one of my most cherished memories is the time I spent with my camera taking pictures early morning.... ahhh bliss... some like reading.. I like taking photos...

now to go back to mumbai, develop them and frame them up.... and put them up in my house... out with the old and in with the new...

Tamil Songs in Washington

Ok... so that is what I am doing... I have downloaded Tamil songs from the internet and have been listening to it on and off.... somewhere it gives me a sense of grounding... a feeling of this is where I am from... now I understand the mentality of an immigrant... and why Indians who live abroad are even more conservative than their counterparts in India... cos you want to hold on to everything that defines you.. and your culture (which includes songs) defines you the most ...

I have also realised why I felt so lonely coming back to Washington... cos there are no people around me... now in Washington, my house is lovely and I like it (except I have no cleaned it for days - dont judge people, I am not used to cleaning everyday by myself) but it is in an apartment complex where I dont know my neighbours... infact I hope to run into my neighbours while throwing the garbage out but no such luck yet and even contemplated creating a ruckus so that the neighbours would come out... and then I get out of the house, the streets are all almost empty... and then there is the tube ride where I dont see many people talking to each other... all of them are grim and reading something or the other - now contrast this to the Mumbai train rides where from the beginning of the ride till your destination, you are adopted into a community of rail commuters who let you in on their lives (slowly)... back to Washington- I reach office and I have a cabin to myself (everybody does - so no great shakes) and for days I can go without seeing a living being near my office... and then I come back home....

so in all this my contact (actualy people to people contact) is limited to official matters in the office... and on a very need based basis... so there is no leisurly stroll to Cafe Coffee Day with friends at 5 p.m.. or even to eat peanuts at 6 pm... and then the travel back home where your driver will vent out his grievances in life (and you ARE the root cause of all his probs) and so on and so forth...

I almost feel like Amrish Puri in Dilwale Dulhania Le Jayenge where he is feeding the pigeons at Trafalgar Square and he imagines he is in the mustard fields of Punjab....

Only the gyrating dancers and the song are missing from my imagination....

After my trip to Canada I am suddenly struck by a sense of loneliness... maybe it was the effect of spending time with my cousins or just the excitement of seeing a new place... but now that I have come back to my routine life in DC I am suddenly feeling sad...

i am so pissed with this loneliness that I am not speaking to anyone.... maybe a nice hindi movie will cheer me up..... in all this I wonder how I would have felt if I had been in Mumbai... firstly I would have had no time to think about all these things.. secondy I would have been back in familiar territory feeling pampered by my maid, cook and driver and eating cooked food made by someone else other than me.... I would have watched the news (which I do here as well) and felt bad that India is not prepared for the CWG games (and also made mental notes about what I would have done differently) .... and then it would have been a crazy day at work since everybody in India works like crazy... I would have spoken to my friends and my sister about my trip... perhaps visited Baby George and felt cheerful and come back...and after a long day at work I would retire for the night feeling exhauted and wondering when my next holiday will be...

In Washington things are a bit different.... my apartment needs serious cleaning... my cooking still sucks... I have no ironed clothes which means I have to iron them....

Am I homesick?

What gave it away?

Family, Niagara, superawed daughter etc...

So this weekend I was in Canada... my cousins stay in Toronto and my desire to see Niagara falls from the Canadian side made my decision to take a trip to Canada very easy...

Apart from seeing Niagara falls and Toronto the trip was a much needed bonding time with family... my cousin and I have not seen each other in 17 years... and it was really nice to meet them..... and more specifically to hear about my family from her... she is older so she obviously knows more about the family... so I heard about the real hardships that my dad and his 3 brothers went through to get educated.... it appears that my dad was so brilliant that when it looked like he had to drop out of school due to money problems, his teacher used to come home and teach him.... and that each of the brothers supported the others education (one even married wrong to get the dowry to support the family) and how my father being the youngest felt most indebted to all his brothers for their hardship.... I was just amazed at how difficult it was for my father to come up in life.... and my admiration for him has now become an awe.... sometimes I take my education, my position in life, my ability for granted... and wonder why people choose not to do things in their life... in short I am a snob... and then I hear this about my dad and think, if anyone can be a snob then it is my dad... to the contrary my dad is the first one to change the topic, to think that he did nothing extraordinary.... I wonder whether he is disappointed in his children.... that no one could achieve his level of success....

I also learned a bit more about my own family .... living in Kerala you are often made aware of your family ... old ladies will ask "so what is your family name?"... and when I would say Kallingal, they would promptly ask which part of Kerala I was from... now in Kottayam this is even more pronounced as some of the wealthiest and well known families live there... so studying in Corpus Christie I was forced to confront them and their so called "family status"... so it was interesting to know that my family is apparently one of the oldest families in Kerala tracing their origin to the time St. Thomas came... my family members apparently worked with the Kings of Cochin... one of them was a famous clock maker it appears (I cant spot even one family member who has that talent) and my grandfather was the first graduate of the district of Kollenchery.... in all this ofcourse I never heard that they had stupendous wealth or that they had an industrious mind.... all of them seemed to have been rich with education and service and nothing else... .am I happy? Hell ya!

I will put up my pics of Niagara soon....

I dislike small towns... no matter where in the world they are... whether it is India, US or UK.... there is something so depressing about been in a small town.... first of all access to many of the essential things in life are not there, you have lesser amenities, you have lesser opportunities, you have lesser dreams.... all in all you feel - isolated.... a deepening sense of isolation is what I dislike about small towns...

Somebody commented that living in Canada was permeated by a sense of isolation from the world.... and I thought that is exactly what I feel when I visit some of the small towns in the world....

Random musings

So as you can see I have decided to write everyday about my experiences... cos somewhere I believe if I ever read this 20 years down the line I will have some memories to reflect on and maybe even some good reading at that age...



Just yday I was using a new gadget I found in the store and I thought to myself "Wow that just made my life a bit simpler".... It is very rare that I have such thoughts in India... .. hmm... why is that? Are we Indians not innovative?



I also started thinking about the ingredients of a "good life".... and here is my list of ingredients of a good life...



a. Love: I feel very stupid saying this but I feel the most alive when I love, am in love and is loved. Give me love anyday I think I will consider half of life's battles to be won....



b. Family - closely related to the above, I would consider a good family life to be an ingredient of a good life.... ofcourse it is another matter that I will tear my hair apart if my folks stayed with me but still they are there and I am grateful for that... ofcourse Baby George is also a necessary ingredient in my life... hahaha... he is growing up now... I wish my sister or brother would have one more kid - only to keep me entertained like Nishant, Baby George and Christy do/did....



c. Success: Now this is a tricky one... I have realised (much to my own surprise) that I am actually a very ambitious person... and I also realised that my ambition is very different from the rest... so it is not about the money but about my own sense of accomplishment... so for instance if I wanted to prove myself in a certain field...I would not rest till I got that ... even if it is not a desirable ambition as per society's standards.... I believe one should be extremely happy in one's job, look forward to going to office everyday, have a vision for oneself for the future and make sure you are always bettering yourself...in a way this secondment is a way of bettering myself...



d. Activities... One must always have a hobby that one does outside of work... which he or she is really passionate about.... this would help hone a skill that the person would otherwise not get in the job...

e. Friends: This is a critical one... and in a Mumbaikar's life the lifeline... You need to have a set of trusted friends who will be with you through thick and thin... and friends who you can have fun with.... and just hang around when your spouse or parents irritate you...

f. Good help.... Yes, people... its absolutely critical to have good domestic help... in my mind it is actually number one... like they said in a movie... "I can always get a new husband but it is so difficult to get a good maid"....

g. Good House- now in Mumbai it is very relative what is a good house... what I have in mind is a house where when you enter the first thing that greets is a clean lobby rather than paan stained staircases..... just a nice cute place which gives out warm vibes... and helps you relax...

h. Loyalty. I think one should have a sense of loyalty to something... to your family, country, principles, job... whatever it is.... that gives you a higher purpose in life I think...

i. Public transport - now this is a quirk of mine - I like public transport more than private cars (although I do miss my car back in mumbai).... but I think my quality of life is tremendously improved if I can travel anywhere anytime without having to think about the time it takes or even the safety aspect...

j. Good television and movies... I dont need to explain.... Everyday when I get back from work I love to relax in front of the TV... now in DC I watch reruns of friends and sometimes Law&Order... but in India I used to watch all the telesoaps as well... and ofcourse movies ! Ahh nothing better than a day out at the movies with friends...

In general I think you will be content if you have an open mind.... I dont yet have it.... maybe this stint will help me do that....

I just had a discussion with a woman whose parents ran away from communism in Russia.... and I asked her whether she still had relatives back in Russia and she said yes... at first instinct my reaction was that - you left your country behind.... you didnt stay back to fight it.... and then I thought to myself... staying back what would they have done anyways? most people are ordinary looking to lead ordinary lives... most often they would have just been deported or killed.. .and then what good would have come of it if they actually stayed behind? Just by staying behind are you able to prove your loyalty to your country?

I dont think so.... staying back and doing nothing about yourself or even about improving society is probably a worst case scenario than flying out of the country to make a better life for yourself...

Staying in America has made me question a lot of my prejudices....

Strange things are reminding me of Mumbai... I saw a picture of a person eating some peanuts from the roadside... it looked like nice hot peanuts .... immediately it took me back to the streets of Mumbai where I would run off and get some peanuts...

I did the next best thing here... I went to the vending machine and bought a bag of mixed nuts for one dollar.... nice...

but it just didnt have the taste of the Mumbai roadside peanuts....

I have realised that there is alot I need to learn about photography... to start with my camera needs an upgrade... and then I need to learn the techniques more...

I saw some of the pictures taken by others... they are soooo stunning that I hid my pictures....

A friend recently spoke about insecurity.... and that got me thinking...

when is a person insecure? Mostly because they fear loss... when do they fear loss? when they have no control over the thing they are hoping they wont lose? and what does the realisation that they dont have control leave to? insecurity.... Voila!

So is that why people are insecure about their money? their fame? their husbands?

Today there was an earthquake in DC.... i did wake up at around 5 in the morning but I doubt it was bcos of the earthquake....

This is a new thing for me...

Another conversation I had with mom when mom asked me about my work... I said that compared to what I used to do in Mumbai I am getting a lot more time.... my mom said "that is good. Take this time and relax a bit."

So mom, what do I need to do to relax?

Yday I was speaking to my mom and she asked me whether I was happy... and I told here "Yes I am. But I miss Mumbai a lot and I cant wait to come back to Mumbai."

To which my mom responded "Oh please, its not like there is anything special waiting for you at Mumbai"...

But mom, the something special waiting for me is the city of Mumbai.....

So yday I had the chance to talk to two Indian Americans... one was a stranger I had met while applying for visa and the other is a friend of a friend... both of them were goodlooking, young, ambitious women who had started their life in India... one had married the other had not... and both had shifted to the US about 7 - 10 years back.... to both I asked the question - "do you miss india?"..... and both gave the same answer "why would we?".... one went on to elaborate... "I find life in India so stressful. I wonder how people back in India live the way they do with so much of stress. Here my life is all set - I have a work life balance, I have a career that is going places and which wont be dictated by personalities, the infrastructure in my current city is good.. unlike in Mumbai where the infrastructure is soooo bad. I still remember the horrific traffic jams in Mumbai and used to get frustrated....". The other Indian American went on to elaborate "when I am in India I am amazed at how much help there is.. my brother has 3 drivers 2 maid and one nanny... and I keep feeling bad that these people are doing so much for me... and once when I was in India, i decided to do the dishes myself but then the kitchens in India are so dirty that I decided that it is better that a maid does it."...

Now I dont judge these women... they are all right in their own way... and I agree with most of their comments about Indian life... however I dont remember my life being bad cos I had help.. yes the infrastructure in Mumbai is really bad.. it is bad compared to many cities in India itself... and it is frustrating to drive in Mumbai (at least before the sea link started).... I wonder whether I will start talking like them if I were to stay here for good....

One of the things I try and do while here is to perceive how India and Indians are perceived.... it is difficult to completely ascertain that... a section of the people are very excited about India with its yoga, rivers, culture, curry etc... the other section of the people (of whom I have not met many) tend to be still of the view that India is somewhere in the middle ages and that emulating the US would have benefits for India... Most of the news items percolating over here about India is about the bandh called recently, the price rise, the naxal movement, the unveiling of the new terminal etc... nothing serious or even interesting about India is said here... we are not in the ranks of China which is touted as being the next big thing.. or even discussed in the context of financial regulation... we are still somewhere getting a bit of light but not yet...

most recently this article

http://www.time.com/time/magazine/article/0,9171,1999416,00.html
caused a lot of consternation.. it made me laugh and also feel angry a bit... but then I also realised that the man speaks the truth.. Indians did migrate... there are lots of gujjus who dont really show our country in the birghtest light....

yet I am confused about the psychology of US... in a country which is largely composed of migrants what in the world is the author thinking singling out one single community.. in that case are you not going to single out the Italians, the vietnamese, the canadians... it seems that every person who comes to America has had an identity before... so where does it stop... or are you concentrating on one community cos of the color of the skin... something like "if you are white, you are American, if not then you are Indian, mexican, latin living off our wealth"....

I am not sure I have elucidated well... but truly I am very confused about this whole issue... on one hand US is all about migrants... but then not all migrants.....

So I have started attending my first weekend classes.... and when asked by my teacher where I am from I unhesitatingly replied "Mumbai!"... the MNS would be so proud of me...

But when my teacher got excited by Mumbai saying "that is a place I have always wanted to visit".. I immediately responded "Oh, there is nothing to do in Mumbai"... and that is when the teacher very gently told me of a book he read... the story was of a boy who was so bored of the street he lived in that he kept sitting out on the street saying "nothing ever happens on my street. This is the most boring street in the world"... and the book shows how while the boy is waiting for excitement to reach him, behind him the street was abuzz with activity... fire down the road, policement catching a thief, kids dancing on the street... and the boy was oblivious to that... and my teacher gently pointed out..... you are like the boy in the book... you think nothing ever happens in Mumbai but the prob is most likely that you dont see it...

How true.... I like the teacher....

so off I went shooting photos on a lovely sunday morning in Washington... and this is the outcome....

So I have been reading a lot of American History since I came here.... I am basically trying to figure out its people, its life, its culture....

and one of the people i have been focusing on is Abe Lincoln.... the 16th President of the United States... who fought the Civil War and effectively abolished slavery... he is a fascinating figure... and ever since my Dad told me about him there has been some amount of latent curiosity about him for me... and now that I am in Washington what better place to learn about him!

While I am still learning about him one of the most fascinating aspects of Lincoln is his belief that in life you have make yourself worthy of the world's esteem... he always wanted the world to acknowledge him and to that end he wanted to be better than he was.... he was said to be melancholic, had a crazy wife, 4 children, and a very very honest reputation.. he was brought up in poverty, didnt have education, saw his sister pass away in childhood, had no parental support.... in short he was meant to be ordinary ..... and a "failure".... and fail he did.....many times.... his stint in the Senate was a disaster, he failed to get elected many times... he was not selected by the republican party twice... and the one time he got elected was cos he was the candidate least expected to be controversial from all sections... when he got the republican party nomination, newspapers screamed that Republican party has gone bankrupct that they had to choose a man who has no education, who speak incoherent words and has bad grammer... he was even criticised for his looks... it was said that he was like somebody had pulled together the unwanted parts and put on a straw ....

I am curious to know how Lincoln went through his life knowing that the whole world was against him.... that he was all he had... that all he had to become could only be through his and his own hard work.... his wife was supposed to have supported him but apparently she lost it when one of their children died..... what must have kept his going? Was it a belief in a higher purpose? Lincoln himself was self deprecating... he wrote to the voters once asking for a chance to prove himself and said "if you dont, well I dont have much expectations about myself anyways"....

How could a person like this be the greatest President the United States has ever had? And become one of the greatest orators of his times? whose speeches are read and recited again and again around the world by children and who is referred to by parents when children ask for a role model.... how could this person who had nothing going for him in the end have the whole world bowing to him....

in some ways I am reminded of Gandhi... both were lawyers... and both of them faced failure in some form or the other in their early lives... their marriages were far from good.... and ofcourse none of them were goodlooking.....and these two figures actually changed the histories of their countries....in a time when there is no media except for the newspapers, word of mouth and their charisma which apparently travelled the most... including crossing borders...

I sit here and read about these inspiring men.... and in some ways I lament that i am nowhere close to following what these individuals had done in their lives... I compare myself to them unashamedly... and come away feeling that I am not living up to my own expectations......

Can I be any better?

Okk... so I am not a great cook... and I dont like cooking unless it is for people who enjoy my cooking....
so in the US I went around asking for a cook... and all I got were incredulous looks! like what are you saying? why dont you cook yourself?? apparently people here dont believe in taking help with cooking....

In the US everything is a do it yourself... you do everything yourself... and the system is completely suited to that.. you have the dishwasher, you have the washing machine, you have the vaccum cleaner etc.... and some of the ads on TV are all about how you can change your sink, tiles etc - all by yourself if you buy the easy to follow manual from a particular shop... and I am thinking - when do people actually find the time todo all this? in between working 14 hours, they also have to be good at carpentry? No wonder carpentry is one of the courses in school here...

I am getting more and more respect for my country....

Here is my question... why is everyone happy about Obama being the first black president of the United States?

Cos in my view he is only black in colour... he was raised by a white mom, white grandparents and lived the classic white man's life... not a black person's life... you see what I associate with a black person and how he comes up in life is that he and his family have overcome years of discrimination and then got to a point where a hardworking father/mother puts their son/daugter through college... I am not sure whether Obama has these issues to live with ... he was ofcourse half black and that might have subjected him to some form of discrimination... but was he living the life of a black person? I think not....

Its the 4th of July here... my first ever in the United States..... so it seems appropriate that I pen down some of my thoughts about this country that is going tobe my home for the next 3 months....

Firstly, unlike what the world believes Americans are really really nice people... they are very curious about India and have a lot of respect for other countries... nowhere have I heard an American say (yet at least) that India is so backward or you must be so better off coming here... and for that I am really glad... I am slowly becoming friends with Americans and I hope to have this friendship for a long time....

I love American pride in themselves... the July 4th weekend was all about being proud of being an American... there are news programmes that talk about all the good things America has done... and how as a nation they have helped millions.... and most of it is true.... there is so much that this country has given the world.... and is still giving... and that cannot be taken away from them... or the Americans... this is a country that built itself up from nothing and hence they deserve to be credited with that....

I am a bit confused about American system though... it is confusing cos this systems seems to be as close to a corrupt system as can be... and I am not talking about Government alone... even the private sector... everywhere I saw, people were getting jobs cos they knew someone who knew someone..... and if you want to be in the government (which ordinary people can be without passing a test like our IAS) then you have to have good connections... so a Chelsea Clinton will always be ahead of the pack...or you have to always be ready to lend a hand... or just reach out to someone and prove to that someone how recommending you would be the best thing to do.... I am not sure whether I will be happy with that .... I want the freedom to be able to get the job I want cos I have merit.... not becos someone recommended me... or that someone didnt recommend me..... I would feel lost......

The judicial system also seems right for corruption.... right now the hearing for a supreme court judge is going on... and she is appointed by the Obama administration... but what I didnt comprehend was that she was going to be appointed as a judge in the highest court in the country when she had hardly had any experience in courts, she had hardly had any experience as a judge in any of the lower courts and her only reason for being there was that the President thought her to be a suitable candidate... and the reason for that is that she is as close to Democractic party principles..... so she will get appointed and she will remain in office as long as she wants and that is how the Government influences the judiciary.... wow... in India that would be a sure shot for disaster... and the most corrupt Supreme Court ever.... I really dont know how this system has worked well over here...

what stunned me even more is that - America discriminates between Men and Women in the work place! Yes, women and men get paid differently for the same work.... no need to say women always loose out... I am shocked... how can that be in this country??? How and why are women tolerating it?

What is even more educative is that lawyers actually ruined a part of the society here... the entire society is so litigous that people are actually scared of doing many things... in a way it is good... on the other hand, doctors are scared of malpractice... so they want insurance coverage which drives up the costs..... I am not sure whether this is advantageous to anyone to have so many lawyers fight for more money....in some ways the highly clogged legal system in India is a deterrent to may non serious litigants... not really sure...


Someone asked me "your life in India seems like a lunxurious life - the driver, cook, maids etc".... and they were contemplating coming to India... and my response was ... Yes my life is luxurious in many ways... but in many many ways it is also insecure.... I am scared for my liberty, I am scared for my freedoms as a woman, I am scared cos of my religious identity, I am scared cos of my ability to be me...there is no protection in my old age... the Government does not look after us..... social norms dictate evry move in India..... and God Forbid the religious bigots get hold of the Government again then I am going to be scared every night of my life..... I am not protected in my own country..... Everyday we trust God and move around..... so to that extent India has a lot to offer but has not yet offered its citizens feeling of being protected and certain about their rights... something to take back from my time in the United States... give citizens the certainity of their rights...

I also realised that the notion that we have in India that US is a ticket to good life is so based on the stories carried back by the Desi Americans.... and I used to always challenge it, in many fight such notions saying how dare you make it look like we are all trying to escape our country?... now I realise that the generation of Desi Americans who did make it to the US were genuinely not given any opportunity in our country to prosper... no jobs, no money, no hope... they just left... and when they entered a country that offered them all this and more it was but natural that they would come back and potray stories of a better life..... cos it was a better life - FOR THEM! So it is no wonder that even today it is the Desi Americans who are the first ones to criticise India and say that India is a backward country.... or say that Americans have sorted it all out.... I used to get offended by these statments - not just from DEsi American - any Indian who went abroad and tried to make it look like they have escaped hell.... now I understand the psyche a bit better... they left a very different India.... they didnt leave todays India... and it is upto me to be a more understanding Indian... and perhaps show my Desi American friends that India as they knew it or their parents is different.... we are changing and that change is a wonderful opportunity for every Indian to be a better person... to build a better India.... and Desi Americans can provide the much valuable insight into that process of transformation.....

cos, India is very tolerant.... we are ready to be flagged down sometimes.... sometimes it is a sign of compassion for another person.....