My mom once told me that life takes a turn when you hit 40... as in you start evaluating your goals, life decisions, friendships and relationships... she told me that this is the age when most women start looking outside their families for comfort amongst girlfriends and to find themselves in some way... I didn't make much of it at that time since I was about 10 years old... 40 seemed like closing the gap with death that time... so I didn't really bother...
but now that I have hit big 40 I have also started evaluating things in my life... what is important and what is not... what to keep and what to discard... not that I have found any answer to that question yet.... but I saw some of these questions hit my friends pretty hard.. most have sought solace outside the home with strangers... feeling guilty yet fulfilled at the same time... some of them have decided to re-enter their careers to make up for the decision taken in their 20s to look after their kids and home... some of them have also found new relationships entirely ....
oh.. my mom also told me that this quest ends when you are 50 and you slowly come back to normal life after that...
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In other news, I have been caught by a bug.. no no its not a bug in the insect kind of way.. its a bug that catches people who are looking for new level to their existence... so the other day, my friends and I were sitting at a coffee shop exchanging stories about life and love... when in walks in this super hot woman... I only saw the curves in that white t-shirt.. and wondered in my head that this woman must be a model... only to see her face and recognise that it was one of the associates who used to work in my firm...she had lost soooooo much weight!! she was nothing short of being transformed!! and I was immediately conscious of the wings under my arms, the fat under my shoulders and the extra tight pants I was wearing.... I looked at my face as well in the mirror and while it did look good, I kept thinking how much nicer it would be if I were thinner.. yes yes no self body shaming etc etc... but come on you were not there when this lawyer turned model walked into my face ....
and then I asked the one question that would alter my perspective about her... how did you lose so much weight... " I just stopped working!" she glee-ed into my face.. what? how? yeah now I have more time for pilates, gym, workouts and even looking after kids... oh, when will she be returning back to work? I asked ... never! was her thunderous reply... "after working for 13 years I don't want to anymore!"... considering I have been working for 19 years I didn't have a response.... other than... I get you dude... I just don't have an option at the moment... can I still get that body anyways? Later on her husband came down to give her money .... and once again I bit into my muffin trying to avoid the gaze....
the most important feeling that I harboured that day was one of absolute amazement... amazed at how things can change ... and amazed at how a person could stop working one day without thinking too much of the future... when all I do everyday is start biting my nails in anticipation of the future...how do I provide for my family.. etc etc...
maybe its my 40s phase... maybe its genuine fear...God knows...
but now that I have hit big 40 I have also started evaluating things in my life... what is important and what is not... what to keep and what to discard... not that I have found any answer to that question yet.... but I saw some of these questions hit my friends pretty hard.. most have sought solace outside the home with strangers... feeling guilty yet fulfilled at the same time... some of them have decided to re-enter their careers to make up for the decision taken in their 20s to look after their kids and home... some of them have also found new relationships entirely ....
oh.. my mom also told me that this quest ends when you are 50 and you slowly come back to normal life after that...
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
In other news, I have been caught by a bug.. no no its not a bug in the insect kind of way.. its a bug that catches people who are looking for new level to their existence... so the other day, my friends and I were sitting at a coffee shop exchanging stories about life and love... when in walks in this super hot woman... I only saw the curves in that white t-shirt.. and wondered in my head that this woman must be a model... only to see her face and recognise that it was one of the associates who used to work in my firm...she had lost soooooo much weight!! she was nothing short of being transformed!! and I was immediately conscious of the wings under my arms, the fat under my shoulders and the extra tight pants I was wearing.... I looked at my face as well in the mirror and while it did look good, I kept thinking how much nicer it would be if I were thinner.. yes yes no self body shaming etc etc... but come on you were not there when this lawyer turned model walked into my face ....
and then I asked the one question that would alter my perspective about her... how did you lose so much weight... " I just stopped working!" she glee-ed into my face.. what? how? yeah now I have more time for pilates, gym, workouts and even looking after kids... oh, when will she be returning back to work? I asked ... never! was her thunderous reply... "after working for 13 years I don't want to anymore!"... considering I have been working for 19 years I didn't have a response.... other than... I get you dude... I just don't have an option at the moment... can I still get that body anyways? Later on her husband came down to give her money .... and once again I bit into my muffin trying to avoid the gaze....
the most important feeling that I harboured that day was one of absolute amazement... amazed at how things can change ... and amazed at how a person could stop working one day without thinking too much of the future... when all I do everyday is start biting my nails in anticipation of the future...how do I provide for my family.. etc etc...
maybe its my 40s phase... maybe its genuine fear...God knows...
