I am sorry

One of the recent incidents in my life opened my eyes to how prejudiced I am even though I put up a facade ....

It was a tough negotiation that I had to attend... for a personal matter...and hence didnt have all the confidence that comes with knowledge of law... it was for a purely personal matter and I knew the other side was going to negotiate hard... I checked around... and I was told by several "experienced" people that I should not go alone... why???... "cos you are a woman" they lamented.... so? ... "nobody would take you seriously then"....ok... "you should go with a man - optically that will make the other side feel that you cant be taken for a ride"...

I started asking for some "male" presence to take along for my meeting... I pleaded with my cousin, my friends and every conceivable trustworthy male.... since it was last minute many were unable to attend..... I was distraught.... and scared.... what if I am not able to handle myself....what if the other side chews me up and spits me out..... and looks at me and says "ha, you, a woman, could even think of speaking like this?"... and I would walk away with tears flowing... yes, I am very bollywood in my thinking...

Till a (male) friend asked me.... you are a lawyer in the top law firm of the country... you do this for a living... and you are scared of negotiating??? and that too in Mumbai??? Who told you such nonsense...

And now comes the time for me to say sorry.... Sorry that I believed people who sought to scare me ... who sought to make me believe that I would be handicapped if I am a woman....that I am not as good as a man even if I am more educated ....

I am sorry God for not believing what you have created... for not believing in the talent that you have given me... for undervaluing me..... Really Sorry....