My mom just underwent a angioplasty to remove 3 blocks from her heart...and I remember being stuck in a meeting the whole time in Mumbai...and finally I was able to get out of my work schedule and come down to be with mom....after all what is the point of working if you just cant make time for family....
and I am so glad I did....my mom was weak as expected ....and she was happy to see me...but she has not changed a little bit...she stills wants to get up and run around the house doing chores...the only leeway is that now she supervises....no amount of threats work on her .....she still has to get up and run...I used to always wonder why people think staying at home was easier....ofcourse you dont have a crabby boss (ofcourse diff if you have a crabby hubby/wife) but there is still so much to do ....and every vacation I would come home and expect to sit by my mom's side just reading or watching TV...but as soon as you are slowly receding into the laziness of your own home my mom would remember an unfinished business and run to do that....and she seems to be continuing that even now...which is not good at all for her condition.....
and ofcourse there are tons of people visiting her everyday...my mom is obviously popular....and most of them come to the house and ask who I am ...apparently they never knew that my mom had a second daughter...well obviously I was not climbing the popularity charts in Kottayam...and I just dont get this at all...they all come to visit a person who has just undergone a heart procedure and still insist on having coffee and talking to you about their sister's husband's cousin's son's friend's dog!!....I just could not believe people would just sit and talk for so long when they clearly know that my mom is supposed to relax.....but everytime I open my mouth it is shot down as being of the "new generation"...implying that I have no idea of what is good social behaviour.....well I dont know about good social behaviour I just know that I dont like seeing my mom getting tired from all that talking and sitting up....why do that to her people?? anybody supporting me on this?
other than that being in kottayam is both refreshing and stifling at the same time....it is nice to wake up without tension...and it is nice to see green out of the window and even when you walk outside....and it is nice to have family around to relax with ..... but there is always some lurking fear in me that I am crossing some kind of invisible boundary whenever i venture to do something...its almost like the plants in my neighbours house have eyes ....when you step out there is someone watching you and commenting on your latest pimple to the next door neighbour.....and there is always the liberty to question as much as you want about whatever you want......so I am always asked how I cope with a "lonely" house....welllll if only they come to Mumbai and see the size of our apartments they will realise that sometimes you need space from the house itself cos it is breathing down your neck......and I am always asked what I do for food...and the amazing thing is that when I tell them that I actually try to cook over weekends (and quite sucessfully I must add) they actually laugh about.....its almost like they were waiting to hear that joke from me....and they never let up till I actually change the story and tell them that I order from outside.....and once I do that, that gives them the perfect window to pounce on me yet again about how it must be so lonely to stay and eat all by myself...well obviously they have not watched "101 Juiciest hook ups" at 11 in the night with a plate of lucky briyani...it is divine.......
I miss the freedom that I have in mumbai the most when I am in Kerala...there is actually a beautiful river that flows near my house....and my mom gets paranoid everytime I tell her that I would like to go and sit there and have a solitary moment to myself...."what will people think?" is what she constantly asks me....I almost feel like blurting out "Ma the people who are watching probably dont think too much anyways"...but that is not the ideal answer to such a screwed up system....I patiently wait till I get company and then go over and sit there ...forget solitude...you would be happy if you get 5 mins without somebody's eyes glaring at you....Hmmm.....not surprisingly that when I come to Kerala I become a total recluse and refuse to say any words beyond "hello" ....and if that can be achieved with a nod then I just happily nod away....
dont get me wrong...I love many things about home....I love my family, i love the green, I love the food, I love the hassle free existence of small towns ....but most often than not I am dying to get back to the dirty city of Mumbai and breathe free...ironic isnt it? to just stroll out at 7 in the night and go to bandstand and have a cup of coffee....trust me....I appreciate my job, my life, my mumbai so much more when I see what it is like to constantly worry about someone else's opinion.....am I weird? well at least now you guys know where that comes from.....
My parents constantly warn me that I will slowly lose touch with my family after they are gone...I kinda see their point of view also...afterall when you have family you really have a sense of security..and as the famous sunscreen song said "the more you grow older the more you need people you grew up with"....now that is a puzzle that I have still not been able to solve....if anybody knows better please do enlighten me........
anyways seems like I get more philosophical also when I am in Kerala...must be the rice in Kerala....
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