Things that are important to me

You grow up in a society which notifies you early on in life about the things that are important.... the things that you MUST have to have a complete life... they include education (absolute necessity), house, car, enough money, spouse, children.... and sometimes in the quest for those very things we forget why it is you need these things... we all just go about it in a perfunctionary manner - something we just have to do .... but I think it is important to recognise the few fundamentals that you live by so that you realise how lucky you are or how unlucky you are....

Things that are important to me are:

a. My own identity - I dont believe anybody can take away your identity without you yourself wanting to lose it.... but still there may be situations when you might be forced to give up things that are important to you in order to adjust/compromise with someone you love. I just hope I dont have to give up my identity for any reason.

b. Ability to go out alone - this is absolutely critical for me I think... I dont think many people would enjoy the same things I do and somehow I feel obliged to entertain them while doing things I like doing... something like shopping, or even sitting at a coffee shop.... or even going on my crazy photo tours.... I just like the fact that in mumbai I can go alone to all these places... many people would judge me for being alone... but thats the way I want it

c. Ability to help people important to me - Its important for me that I am able to be there for my loved ones... and there are few of them in my life that I absolutely treasure and I hope I am able to be there for them as much as I want to

d. Being with trustworthy people - I am by nature very naive... though I have learned from my mistakes that not all people who come into your life wish the best for you I have steadfastly hung on to the belief that most people are trustworthy.... and the sad reality is not many people are.... and now even more than anything I hang on to the people who I trust the most ...

e. Its important to be true to yourself... even if you behave as if you are the queen with others... you must be true to your self... yes I screwed up in the past and now I am making amends for it... it actually lessens your stress.....

f. Its important to realise that you are quite dispensable .... no matter what the situation everybody moves on in life.....

g. Its important to get hugs from children once in a while.... they are innocent and when they hug you that means they love you.... and It is important to feel that once in a while ...

h. I think it is important to love with all your heart ........ whatever it is you love - your job, your partner, your siblings, your books, your alone time......

i. Finally it is important to realise that there is always someone better than you and someone worse than you... it is important to realise that someone somewhere is always going to be better than you and someone somewhere is going to be worse than you... it is important not to get overwhelmed by both....

I dont know whether I will practise any of the above... but it is always good to have a list of important things in life.....

Fly Off

I want to fly off again - and this time my wish list inlcudes the following:

a) Varanasi or Benares- Now everybody talks about these places as if it is Gods own land... I guess in a way it is what with all the sadhus running around the place..

b) Srinagar - mainly cos it is a dangerous place and I am in a dare mood

c) Madurai - cos of the temple architecture

Finally I dont think I will go anywhere - anytime I get free I shall spend a day with my sister and nephews... they deserve that..... but a wish list is always fun...

When Baby George became Hulk Hogan

Baby George gets angry. Very Angry. When I squeeze his "Achacha" in front of him......

Ok.. this is what happened..... I was as usual making merry with Christy.... and in the process held him tight and squeezed him ... now I didnt notice that Baby George was in a corner watching all our moves closely..... and then suddenly I see a puffed up, angry Baby George with his fists clenched and face totally wrinkled up in anger standing in front of me...and grunted and scowled at me with no mercy.... like Hulk Hogan - a tiny little one, ofcourse.... and saved his "Achacha" by falling on top of me....

It was totally adorable.... and nice to see such love between siblings.... touch wood....

Things I Hate.. sorry Dislike

There are many things I hate.. for instance I hate not having had a Saturday to spend with Baby George and Christy, I hate that my sister and me cant go for movies anymore now cos of Baby George, hate that I cant just speak up many times about something that I feel strongly about, hate that I am really scared of being hurt by the people closest to me, hate that I am sometimes unable to keep the promises I made to myself etc etc... but today it is about things I hate in others.... actually hate is too strong a word so I will use the term dislike....so here goes....

I DISLIKE:

a. people who lie - especially the ones who lie without any reason.

b. people who dont make efforts to sustain a relationship

c. people who emotionally blackmail

d. people who are condescending - mainly a sign of inferiority but still hate that

e. people who flash their money as an achievement

f. people who cling on to their better halves

g. people who pretend to know it all

h. people who are not natural and put up a show

i. people who ignore their better halves at parties

j. people who compare their better halves with others

k. people who dont bother with their parents

l. unncessarily accented people

m. men who hit women

n. women who refuse to be independent

o. couples who ignore others

Oh Calcutta!

I was in Calcutta over the weekend.... I have had a decade long romance with this city... and I have never been to that city till now..... and I finally managed to see some parts of the city....

I am fascinated by Bengal ... from the time I learned about our freedom struggle I have always wanted to go to Bengal and see where it all started... and then I met the Calcutta people in Law School and got even more fascinated by Cal... the city seemed to develop a loyalty amongst its inhabitants.... everybody always wanted to go back to Cal.... there has to be something about that city....

I find Bengal very interesting - their obsession with language (which is sometimes annoying), their literary achievements, their passion for food..... something that I totally gel with... and by coincidence or design most of the people in my life are bengalis or someone associated with Cal.....

I went for a whirlwind tour of the city - first to the 2nd hoogly bridge, then to the Howrah Bridge, Victoria Memorial and then St. Pauls Cathedral..... and my pictures prove that... and you know you have reached Bengal when you hear the rounded words ... I knew I had when the driver told me "Your lOggage is in the BHack"

Watch Out! Walking Baby on the prowl

Baby George has started walking.... yes at 9 months he took his first baby steps..... and he was so excited about it the first few times that he would turn around, look at his mom, giggle in excitment, promptly lose his balance and fall down on his bum... well those are days of the past now.... now Baby George is the king of the living room.... and prowls the length and breadth of the living room in search of food.... so no matter where you are eating you will soon find an eager, drooling and aggressive I must add Baby George at your feet asking you to give him food...

Baby George has also learnt to play with adults... he soon realised that my hand bag is my most precious possession..... so in one of my "zoned out" moments, Baby George picked out the camera cover, started walking as fast as his 10 month old legs could with the sole aim of taking my camera cover away from me.... and he would merrily look back to see if I was following him... and giggle through out till I caught him..... and followed up the exercise by taking my hair brush, lip stick etc etc...

Baby George's first words were "Tata" and "Achacha"..... I will explain... Tata, cos he wants to go out everytime anyone else does.... and Achacha (means elder brother) signifying his admiration for Christy who is his hero in life....

Ah... the ways of Baby George are strange... in the meantime, please keep your food and hand bag safe from the walking baby on the prowl.....

Goa over the weekend

It was Goa over this weekend.... but I got to see very little of the place... was extremely busy through the day....

But this post is not about that.....this post is about the few things I discovered ....

I discovered that while you might want to forget the past, when you meet people from the past they will always remember you for your past... not your present.... and you do the same for other people... and no matter how much better you are doing in life or how much happier you are doing in life your past is what defines you with some people...

I realised that in life it is very rare to find people you look upto..... I suppose in a way I was clueless about what I wanted to do simply because I had no one to look upto.... and once you find that you will always have that in your life no matter where you go....

I realised that more people get, the more people will want..... we just have to strive to be better.... even better than ourselves.....

I realised that I can indeed stay up late two days in a row!

I realised that going out dancing and drinking with my 20 something colleagues is enjoyable!!!!

Most of all I realised that nobody is perfect - including the ones I look upto.....

Public Speaking and Me

When I was a child I used to get petrified if someone asked me to speak in front of a crowd.... you know the usual mess would start in your brain - am I looking too fat? is my dress too short? Is my face really oily? Am I appearing like the biggest idiot on earth?

All sane questions in an insane moment... over time I conquered that fear and gradually became very comfortable with public speaking... I could go on stage and try and engage with the crowd... so much so that I thought I was the next Indira Gandhi.... waving to the crowds and throwing flowers... I still maintain I will be good at that...

Ofcourse that is all when I am totally prepared for such a public speaking requirement..... I can practice, I can perform, I can engage... and not when I am called imprompto on stage... that is when I shrivel up once again... I cant speak.... and when compared to all the witty speakers I end up looking like a bumbling fool....

Anyway the point of it all is that recently I was called to speak in front of a crowd of about 100.... and i am still reeling from the bad performance there.... I ended the day screaming to myself - WHY COULDNT I HAVE NOT SHUT UP????