There is no Burmese Kowsuey!

Imagine that! Here restaurants after restaurants serve what is fashionably called "Burmese Khowsuey"... and I discovered that Burma does not have any of that... Ok to start at the very beginning ... I went to Burma on work... at first I was apprehensive... since my trip to neighbouring N

epal was far from a dream.. it was really really backward... Burma was a different ball game altogether... Yangon was clean, nice, leafy city... and the people were so nice on top of it.... not even once did I feel fear walking on the streets of Yangon at night... despite the various stories fed to us.... the military junta ensured that the crime was controlled.... as always I did not take my good camera... and the one that I had also ran out of charge... but the place was so beautiful I just had to click as much as I could.... also much to my surprise I realised that the burmese use the same script as the SOuth Indian languages! so it was like walking through SOuth Indian temples when it was actually Burmese pagodas... one more thing I managed to do was to see the last living quarters of the last mughal emperor.. bahadur shah zafar.. his tomb is so descript and unassuming that I cannot imagine how small the mughal dynasty had become...

Some pics of Mumbai on Diwali... I am slowly getting my lens eye back... hopefully more to come...

Today is Baby George's bday! cant believe 7 years ago he was such a tiny little one .. and now he is all of 7 years!! And now there is a more famous Baby George in the world and yet my Baby George is my special one... Here's to you Baby George... for showing me that I can like children! haha

ZERO DOUBLES

There is something about life coming a full circle that is so true... recent events have made me acknowledge that (in the most grateful manner).... peace....

Acceptance and expectation management are the two ingredients to a peaceful life.... guess I have finally realised what Buddha was saying all along.... Desire is the root cause of all misery...

Well I have been keeping off many things over the last few months... photography for example... i have no idea but I suddenly lost all enthu for the activity.... and I ignored that completely... as also blogging.... I just lost that creativity.... but this weekend some of that returned... perhaps it was because I was in Nepal and so many things seemed worth capturing... and the sad part was that I didnt have my camera with me and hence had to make do with my phone camera....

Kathmandu is a small little mumbai... equally crowded, dirty and chaotic.... with spattering of tourists walking around.... the best part is in the outskirts ... Bhaktapur and Patan to be precise.... what lovely cities I must say... full of lovely sculptures and architecture..... I could continue to stare for a long time.....  Nepal is like a distant cousin of India... somewhat same lang, same gene pool, same customs.... and even our currency works there except for the 1000 rupee notes.... and like all small towns of India all attempts were made to cater to the tourists with some hilarious consequences.... for instance there was the "facebook restaurant"... prompting my friend to comment on whether there was some violation of copyright there..... back of the trucks with the words "dont tuch".... similar to our "horn ok please"....

came back to Mumbai feeling grateful for the small things in life.... here are some pics from my camera.... so no judging

 

A friend just told me that from childhood they were told that they were the best and hence there could never be any doubt in their minds about their self worth and any insecurities...

is that the best way to bring up a child? I am all for self confidence boosting efforts but to make your child believe that they are always right? is that bordering on arrogance??

In a way I guess it is better than being plagued with doubts about yourself.... and wondering whether the other people know more than you.... 

Sometimes you should just accept good enough as being the best.... life is that strange...

Didnt realise that some inalienable truths in life actually were not truths... that there are beliefs that need to be changed... and there are attitudes that need to be changed based on what the circumstances are.....

Am searching for that 16 year old girl who set out to carve out a life for herself in the world... who thot that she would conquer all challenges and move all mountains... who never let the world make her believe that she was secondary to anyone... who marched on... irrespective of the jibes that came her way... who wanted to scale new heights... who never thot gender would be an issue..

where has that girl disappeared?? who killed her?

what do you value the most in a person (personally and professionally)?

For me the most important thing is simplicity... no fuss, complications, angst... just simple... added to that is the requirement to have a person with integrity...

rest I think I can deal with in some measure... except anger and violence...

what do you do when a precious and long term relationship turns difficult or sour... and you just cant seem to relate to each other anymore but both have care and concern for each other... what do you do? you are unhappy, they are left feeling sad that they are making you unhappy.... what is left to do now...

Wait and ride out the storm?? everyone says that......

Really Shreeshanth can get all those women hovering around him only cos of cricket??? Cricket was invented by God to be a babe magnet for ugly men I can see....sorry fellow keralite, I seriously dont have much respect for you...

 

I saw the movie Ashiqui 2 over the weekend...and I have to say that the movie was nothing to write home about.... amateur acting and really tried and tested story.... what was however amazing was that this story was about romance.... and in my view there was nothing but torture in the movie...

the story is very simple... a successful alcholic singer discovers poor, cant feed her parents, girls and gives her the opportunity that you dream of... the girl becomes successful and the boy and girl fall in love... and then the boy develops a complex (not sure what it is about) and starts drinking uncontrollably ... and the girl is left feeling completely lost as to what she did wrong... even on the awards night, he drives past her and doesnot wish her at all... and she runs after him like a puppy dog to see what she can do to help him!!! and he then reforms himself for a while and supports the girl... only to spiral out of control when someone tempts him with a bottle and accuses him of having sexual relations with the girl!!! Seriously???? This is modern India and having sex is not taboo anymore people!!!

The girl goes into a tizzy trying to control his drinking... and even endures him throwing her out of his house... and she sits outside his door and says "I love you!"... yeah, thats one thumps up for womens right.. get beaten and say that to your boyfriend immediately.... she cries, she loses sleeps etc trying to get him to be better... and at one point sacrifices her career for him... she reneges on all contracts just to be with her man ... and even tells her agent that for her "love is more important than career"... I half had the heart to ask her "will you eat love when you are hungry?? Woman, dont you remember you could not even afford to buy rice before your career started".... the agent also tries telling her that she should not waste her life with a drunkard and she shoudl take care of her career... and she refuses to leave his side...

the only redeeming part of the story is that the man realises that he is actually an impediment on her and her success....and commits suicide!!! At which point I felt like screaming out "dude, you did all this drama only to commit suicide???"...... but the important thing is that she was set free by his suicide....

This story is the story of innumerable women in the world... who are with incompetent men and who feel guilty about being so ... and show men that they will adjust and be inferior to them... and take all the stress of being with him in the hope of getting him to be happy... Women are the caregivers... and they care enough to support the man and see him through the worst.... all for what??? to be with the morose, incompetent, insecure, spineless man ? in the process losing all the definition of self that the woman held till she married this man...

Sometimes it is difficult to see the beauty of Mumbai.... actually it is not that difficult to see Mumbai as being only dirty... I have to confess however that ever since I came back from my secondment, my view, attitude and feelings towards Mumbai drastically changed... I had suddenly become critical... almost like the relationship was turning sour... I could find no beauty in anything in Mumbai... A city which not so long back meant the world to me and which made me feel secure was suddenly irritating me... I hated the noise, the pollution, dirty roads and even the people!

Mumbai had suddenly become tooo small for me... there was nothing exciting about mumbai... even the beach began to irritate me cos of its dirt and people's liberal access to it... the systems which seemed to punish people for their simple basic needs... I was fed up...

not that life in mumbai is any better.. but there is some merit in accepting something with all their flaws.... same case for Mumbai.... 

Women took a giant leap, crossed the hurdle and... somehow landed in a puddle...

It is indeed tough being a woman.... I cant emphasise that enough... its a harassment on a daily basis... and constant pressure to be of service to society.... like we have nothing better to do ...

which is why when I hear about commitment phobic men, I wonder - dude? what is wrong with you? we are the ones who should be avoiding any commitment...given that it comes with such unforgiving responsibility, possible loneliness (if the hubby is an ass which is very likely), tension on an every day basis, responsibility for bringing up the new generation and lets face it, at the end of the day, no thank yous...

and women crave for this?? to take on all this added responsibility?? for what???

Margaret Thatcher dies... what a woman... my icon...

best relationship advice?

Dont expect anything....

yday I believe Cherie Blair was in the office premises... she apparently strutted in a red autorickshaw... I saw the dance and song going on but did not really figure out who was the celebrity... I would have loved to see her... she is admirable in many ways... a lawyer in her own right, a scholar on her own merit and able to balance both the worlds beautifully...

 

On the occassion of International Women's Day it is only apt to reflect on what it means to be a woman...

Personally speaking, I find that being a woman in India is one of the most difficult state to be in... challenges, personal and professional are mounted on any woman... and to navigate this maze of challenges always takes a toll on women that they always give up... and never reach their potential... women leave jobs, and make the man the centre of her life.... and that gives her happiness.... if she does not she is slotted as an ambitious bitch who is a ball buster ... implying thereby that she is not to be touched or spoken to cos she has no soul... her soul comes only when she is taking care of her man and her family... such nicely constructed social setting we have ....

I do however see a shift in women power... seeing so many women in the high ecleons of the corporate world has brought about a definite shift in the perception of women... there is a definitely a general acceptance of women being as capable as men... and not being the weaker sex actually... more acceptability to women pursuing a career... young women are graduating and looking for a job before looking for a husband... and women who are not educated are no longer the premium product in the marriage market... as someone said with your education, I think the dowry expectation can be brought down considerably...

slowly women are also finding their power in society... as much society tries to deny it, a woman can actually control the family effectively... no decision can be taken without her consent... some women do not realise this power and hence are treated badly... the influence she has on her children is her ultimate control... and society bends when it comes to that influence and power....

have you ever wondered why the Queen is the most powerful person in the game of chess.... in a game which is all about the army and military positions, its really curious that the Queen has all the powers that everyone else on the chess board has .... The Queen protects the King (who has no power actually) and you have to cut the Queen to get to the king... now I wonder why in ancient India a game with a powerful female was invented.... its not like women rulers were that prevalent....or that women were the actual power behind the throne (well in some cases probably).... so how did we in India invent a game like this??

Does this actual show the actual role of a woman in society... that she has all the powers but she is using the power only for the benefit of her king...and that is where women fail... they lose perspective of what they need to do for themselves... and hence she is treated badly... cos she makes it all about others....

will that ever change?? I hope so ... I hope women fight back against being sidelined... against being slotted as a slut just cos she decided to be bold about her sexuality... against being physically violated cos she decided to take a chance....

and there is a shift in the perception of men as well... men are no longer considered this holy grail of all virtue... as much as there are sluts, there are man - whores as well... the kind who sleeps with anything that moves... not the most stellar of characters in society I would think... and akin to a Bimbo, we have the Man- Bimbo.. the kind whose only aim in life is to bed women... and whose every minute is spent trying to impress the pretty girls... and who would be paying through their nose just to get into bed with someone... and talks openly about his exploits as if he has passed some entrance exam.... classic Man - Bimbo... or Mimbo...

Heres to wishing for a better future for all women out there... may we survive, thrive and grow...

so why is Modi so vitriolic??? Doesnt he have any kind words to say about anyone ???? why did he start his election speech on such an anti-gandhi family and Manmohan Singh... I think these underhand comments are really bad in taste..

am I being biased?? Perhaps...

the question to ask yourself... are you inspired everyday?

OMG!! can you spot the celebrity?

http://economictimes.indiatimes.com/slideshows/people/why-india-incs-on-the-dance-floor/vijay-mallya-attends-the-wedding/slideshow/18498204.cms

From a wedding I went to recently...

when people ask me what my greatest regret is my biggest regrest is being born a woman!!

now that might be a bit dramatic... but i genuinely feel being born a woman is the biggest drawback God can give anyone... so I completely appreciate it when a woman makes it on her own in life... even the women who have had the support of the husband or father, they would also face a lot of issues in life...

first off is the expectation that kills a woman... you are expected to fit a certain mould... you are supposed to be soft, humane, caring, a good cook, do the household maths efficiently, know how to make a child stop crying, be feminine, be coy, be in the background and be supportive of her man... and if god forbid you have deviated from these, you are ofcourse branded as a deviant ... and then ofcourse there is the eternal pressure to fit into the roles of a "good wife" and a "good mother"... for woman, this more than anything else drags her down.. in an effort to conform, she gives up her job and plunges herself into her new role.... all the time carrying the heavy load on her head of having become completely defunct in the real world... and seeing her peers (men and women) race ahead of her in fame and money... and then ofcourse there is the imminent threat of violence in her life ... be it rape, being molested, being beaten, being locked up....

now with all that, is it any surprise that women choose to remain in the background???

Frankly Manu was right.... the biggest curse in life is to be borne a woman... you were really bad in your previous life to deserve this existence as a woman...
 

be prepared to turn your back on something that just gives you negativity...

Just saw the shocking news about the summary execution of the son of LTTE supremo's son Prabhakaran.... a 12 year old boy... same age as Christy... in the picture he sits like any other 12 year old waiting for something or someone.... and in the next picture he is lying dead...

its inhuman to say the least...a small boy killed only cos he is the son of someone... is that justifiable in any case?? was it not possible to show compassion???

Finally, what was Prabhakaran doing including his son in the war zone.. shame on him...

OMGGG... I see the VHP, BJP and RSS going the hinduvata way... a really retro step to get the votes back in...

I was hoping for a mature BJP to come and fight it out... why do they just not see this as being detrimental to India? focusing on religion to get the attention....

on the other hand I am hoping that this will alienate the entire country and they will not get to power... I am also scared that it may not that way and the BJP and its allies will come to power with a thumping majority...

why is politics so complicated???

I confuse myself sometimes......

Failure is the most underrated experience in the world!!

What failure does for you no one or thing can do for you... it is the most essential part of development and success.... yet we fear failure the most... why? cos we are not sure whether this failure means the end of our efforts....

you know what... it means the end only if you decide it is the end....

A friend who was going through a bitter break up told me that after having a cloud hanging over for the last 2 years, finally saw beauty all around one fine day.... and the world just appeared more beautiful and peaceful....

its a breakthrough that everyone one of us has gone through at least once in their lives... and in my view its a milestone in ones life... when you put the pieces of your life back together and rise up again....

when was the last time you did not feel any fear?

To Love, is it to love with the understanding that you are prepared to lose what you love? can you love knowing that this is not permanent? or can you love only if you know for sure that this is worth investing in?

that is the thing about life - the changes that it brings about.... and you never know the turn it is going to take.... in the process you loose a lot of things that you held dear in your life.... and sometimes even wonder why it came into your life only to go away...
 

My visit to the Dhobhi Ghat

advice from a father to a daughter on the anvil of her marriage....

whilst family is important, always remain a true professional - both are consistent...

now why dont I hear this more often??? especially to a generation of women professionals like me??? why do I constantly have to figure out which gang I belong to? the modern woman (implying career oriented women who are independent) or the traditional kinds (who would presumably give up career after husband and kid)... why cant I just be me... whether it is as a career oriented woman or a traditional woman or both sometimes???

Please can the world give me back my choice??? and can my father just tell me the above as well... that as a man he does not feel the need to choose either one ....and that he sees me as a completely perfect woman no matter what I choose....

I have just been approached to be a mentor to a young professional... she is all of 22... and bursting with enthusiasm I am sure at having joined one of the prestigious firms.... in short, as a mentor, I am supposed to help her navigate her career... and hopefully help her achieve heights of success..

If I were to look at my career progress and think about the advice I wished I had received, here is a list:

a. dont be afraid of enquiry... it might not amount to much but you have to keep an inquisitive mind
b. dont be afraid of getting it wrong first time..... just make your best effort no matter
c. be open to feedback
d. WORK comes first for the first 3 years of your life... then other things can come up...
e. Always keep your boss informed..
f. Be proactive...
g. dont hestitate to ask for work
h. Never tell the Boss you need downtime...

I am sure there are more.... for now I am hoping that I will get it right with this young associate...

ok change in gears.... reversal is in order.... hmmm... Alice, get a grip and decide...

would you ever walk away entirely from a person with whom you have had a mental connection with?

BJP.... why are you so in disarray.... how can you bring back Rajnath Singh... do you have no one more credible?? why do you waste an opportunity to be a party with a difference....

all this is going to benefit the congress.... which is happy situation for congress but not for the country.... one needs a viable alternative to make democracy work...

on another note, how touching was Rahul Gandhi's speech at Jaipur..... obviously playing to the gallery.... but seriously, it was very touching.... and a reminder of the sacrifices that these kids have seen in their lives.... I always tell people... they were just born into the family... and they have seen two violent deaths and myriad attacks on their character.... is it possible to live sanely in such situations?? i doubt it ....

have I really stumbled on it??? will I go through with it??  is the universe prodding me to???

Lincoln, Gandhi....

Both superb failures in their careers as lawyers... and yet the greatest leaders...

there is a sudden spurt in the number of people viewing this blog.... I am confused.... am I suddenly a celebrity blogger? and I dont even know about it?? well all I can say is... how about leaving some comments on my blog if you are actually reading it?

No country for women

It appears India is no country for women... the gang rape has brought about the worst and best in India.... on one hand is the spontaneous outburst of reaction from the common man.... the scores of men and women who came out on the streets of India to protest this declining safety record for women... and then there are the politicians who came out and the most ghastly things about women....

RSS chief says rapes happen only in India and not in Bharat, despite evidence to the contrary.... and then he says that women are meant to do the household chores... and that if they dont look after the husband then the husband is entitled to leave them and go..... and then ofcourse the shocker from Asaram who thinks a rapist would stop raping if the woman begs him and calls him brother....

Now that the skeletons are out, perhaps its time to acknowledge that there is no country for women....

The Delhi Gang Rape has caught India by storm... and for the first time I feel such agitation is needed to draw attention to this problem.... rape is always such a sensitive topic... prevention rather than cure is always the norm...

Growing up the only thing i used to fear in my life was rape.... to me that represented the ultimate humiliation of a girl... the subjugation, the sexual abuse and the exercise of power over a woman was to me the greatest fear I had... added to that was the societal acceptance that yes, you could get raped... something in the attitude also spoke about how as a woman you should prevent it from happening... and if it did happen then you need to figure out why.... it seemed, at that point in time, to be the worst possible thing that could happen to a woman...

that fear never left me... I went to law school and the one thing that happened was the fact that I dont need to feel helpless in the face of sexual assault... and that if you are raped that does not mean that it is your fault... that the man can be challenged....that there is life after rape... I felt calmer and stopped including this in my list of things to be afraid of... but the fear never left entirely.... Benazir Bhutto in her autobiography specifies that she herself was so scared of rape that many times she would not step out of her room at Harvard if there was man in the hallway .... so it was not just me... every woman feared this.....

most recently, when the robbery happened the first thing that crossed my mind was what if the robber had decided to attack me... and till today I do not know how I would have reacted if I was attacked....and thank God everyday for sparing me....

I have always felt strongly about rape and rape victims... many times helpless in the wake of what I consider is a societal attitude... movies depict rape as an "easy option".... an easy weapon to use against woman and her family.. its almost like she doesnt matter in the game of life.... and she can be swept aside by any man for any reason....

When will start viewing women as human beings????

New Year

2013 is finally here...now back in my youth I would have imagined 2013 to be so far ahead in the future that the images of the future as shown in the movie "Back to the Future" with flying cars and sky signal stops etc... well no country in the world is close to that kind of a lifestyle... India is far far behind ....

how was 2012?

well year end introspection is always good .... 2012 was very frankly a mixed bag.... a lot of ups and downs... and at the end of it, all incidents seemed to have shaped me in some way or the other... I was as always my over imaginative self... imagining the worst even in cases where there was really no need... with all my friends lamenting that I am an otherwise normal person.... except for my over imagination.... well that being said, 2012 was challenging in its own way.... and nice and pleasant in other ways... 2012 surprised me ... I was mature when I least expected me to be... I realised how far I had come as a person when I put my head down and realised that i had moved on in many ways...

2013.... how would I like it to be? my simple answer.... just surprise me...