Incredible India - Amritsar!

I went to Amritsar with a backlog of impression created by Bollywood movies .... tall strong punjabis, who for no rhyme or reason break out into a bhangra, call everyone "Pappi" and make chaas in a washing machine....

While I am sure there are remnants of these in the Punjabi culture as well I got introduced to a different side of Punjab... the spiritual and emotional one....we covered Wagah Border, Jallianwala Bagh and Golden Temple at Amritsar.....

Wagah Border was crowded... one would expect to see very little activity in an Indo-Pak border but there were millions of shop keepers, flag sellers, policy, trucks, tourists... all jostling to get to a glimpse of the Pak border and in the case of shopkeepers to sell memorabalia....we walked through the cordon of security...it was a long walk.. interrupted by policemen on horses.... who checked everyone... and then a walk to the actual "venue" .... the border that i.... the place was packed.... As I was India I was made to stand with the crowd... my friends who were foreigners were made to sit in a separate enclosure... for fear that they would be lynched perhaps.... as soon as we entered I could hear bollywood music playing.... and that was enough for the crowd to go crazy... ladies flowed onto the road and started dancing... to be only encouraged by the border security force... and when the actual ceremony began everybody starting screaming "Vande Mataram"... and I could see and sense a swelling of national pride... I joined in too!!!! and there started the attempt to drown out all noise from the Pakistani side.... we screamed, clapped, stomped, shouted, sang... all in an effort to drown out the Pakistani side... and we succeeded.... after all they had only about 4 visitors and we had 400 visitors.... so do the math people.... at the end of it the ceremony was extremely respectful when the flags lowered ..... although I just could not understand the rationale for so many of our soliders to keep marching up and down and stomp their feet on the ground... and they did it so many times.... I felt bad for the ground since they were not gently at all....

Next stop was the Jallianwala Bagh the next day... it was not in my itinerary but I requested to see it .... and it was easily the most touching part of our trip... the site where General Dwyer stood and ordered his men to kill unarmed people is marked prominently.... and there are some walls which still have bullet marks and the Government has indicated it in a square white box...... I strolled around... knowing the weight of history that this place carries..... I tried to come to terms with this part of my history... this place that turned the freedom struggle on its head in India.... i read testimonies of people who were there that day... and as much as I could hold back I did.... but my foreign friends actually cried.....we walked past another wall.... and a mother was explaining to her 5 year old son about what happened in the place and the reason for the bullet marks.... her son turned innocently and asked "where is the person who killed all of these people?".... he is dead, replied the mother..... somehow telling the son, dont worry, nobody will harm us now....

We finally went to the most enduring picture of Amritsar.... the Golden Temple... built with 10 quintals of gold it was again a seat of tremendous political and religious upheavals... as soon as I entered the place I wanted to know which structure had been destroyed in Optn Blue Star... my guide pointed it out to me... but in a hushed tone told "we dont talk about it".... i got my cue.... we walked around the marble courtyard... checked out the volunteer kitchens where oridinary people make food for even more ordinary people.... I witnessed jalebi making session... and then was told by an elder punjabi person (whom people called pappi) to eat the Jalebi... I protested saying I was on a diet... and he told me in a very grandfatherly way to shut up and eat.... for some strange reason I completely felt at home.... I was not offended... I liked him taking liberty with me....made me feel like I belonged.... even if this place was miles away from my own home....

Amritsar didnt disappoint me.... I think I was disappointed only because I had not come to this place for so long in my life....

Incredible India - Jallianwala Bagh!

Incredible India - Wagah Border!

Incredible India - Delhi!

Tuesday, October 18, 2011

So now Team Anna is going to control our foreign policy as well??? Wow....

lots of things happening in life... some good, some crazy, some really crazy....

So Christy and Baby George called me up.... they were prodded by my sister to congratulate me.... Christy was perfect...except he didnt know what he was congratulating me for... and Baby George started off grand... "Congra......" he grandly said...and then he let it trail off having forgotten what he was supposed to say to me....

And then both of them forgot to wish me on my bday..... but Baby George was highly enthusiastic and screamed Happy Bday!!!... my sister was surprised and asked him who he was wishing.... after a little doubt he clarified.. "Vava aunty"... yayay.... that made my day....

Somethings in life are indeed free and more precious....

I miss my nephews....

There are just some people who will always remain where they are....

Hi World... I have been missing in action for a while... well many reasons for it... some good some bad... all in all, zero sum game...

one of the things I dislike is to go for formal parties where everyone is "smoozing" around...you know the type of party where there is a lot of air kissing and no meaningful conversation.... it is about everything and nothing at the same time.... almost without fail the conversation starts with 'oh the markets have been brutal today'...... which most certainly makes me scramble to safer pastures... not for anything but the fact that it is such a boring topic to discuss at night.... but that is the pitfall of a corporate life... it is all about externalities... the show and show off of it....

In other news I am actually worried about this government... I mean I believe in the policies of the Congress party.. and think that Congress is the only viable option right now... but the way the Government is scrambling from one crisis to another is really worrying..... it seems as if the Government does not have a head... it is moving all around in the hope of finding its head.... I am really worried... will this bring back communal forces in our country??? will this boost the support for BJP?? I sure hope not..... as I keep saying.. given a choice between a corrupt but trying not to be government and a government which sponsored killings... I would very happily choose the former.... to think the BJP is going hammer and tongs at this government when its own stable is far from clean... and added to that they fete Modi as if he is the answer to all our prayers.... yes, he might be a good administrator ... but that does not make good the wrong he connivived to do in Gujarat... the fact that he advised the Government machinery to keep quiet when law and order was at its worst is a sign of an oppportunist government ... not a good government....

Few reasons why I hope Modi will never make it to national stage..... first off, he does not have global appeal... can you imagine Modi being acceptable to a group of malayalis? or him understanding what Kerala wants... Modi appears too much of a Gujarati...he keep extolling the vitues of Gujarat and how much progress there is... but the fact of the matter is that Modi already had a good thing going when he started out... he inherited a state which had surplus and a business community which was good at making money.... would he have the same success rate if he were to be given a state like Sikkim... that is the challenge.... and that requires a lot of knowledge about India... which I genuinely dont find Modi having right now... and finally, the blot of the riots will never leave Modi... he is always going to be the person who ensured that helpless women and men were killed by certain miscreants only because it suited him politically... I cannot forgive a man who did that... I sure hope India never does... if he were to become PM, then like the British would say "God save the country"....

It actually works!

I am sorry

One of the recent incidents in my life opened my eyes to how prejudiced I am even though I put up a facade ....

It was a tough negotiation that I had to attend... for a personal matter...and hence didnt have all the confidence that comes with knowledge of law... it was for a purely personal matter and I knew the other side was going to negotiate hard... I checked around... and I was told by several "experienced" people that I should not go alone... why???... "cos you are a woman" they lamented.... so? ... "nobody would take you seriously then"....ok... "you should go with a man - optically that will make the other side feel that you cant be taken for a ride"...

I started asking for some "male" presence to take along for my meeting... I pleaded with my cousin, my friends and every conceivable trustworthy male.... since it was last minute many were unable to attend..... I was distraught.... and scared.... what if I am not able to handle myself....what if the other side chews me up and spits me out..... and looks at me and says "ha, you, a woman, could even think of speaking like this?"... and I would walk away with tears flowing... yes, I am very bollywood in my thinking...

Till a (male) friend asked me.... you are a lawyer in the top law firm of the country... you do this for a living... and you are scared of negotiating??? and that too in Mumbai??? Who told you such nonsense...

And now comes the time for me to say sorry.... Sorry that I believed people who sought to scare me ... who sought to make me believe that I would be handicapped if I am a woman....that I am not as good as a man even if I am more educated ....

I am sorry God for not believing what you have created... for not believing in the talent that you have given me... for undervaluing me..... Really Sorry....

It is sad but true that sometime people who are closest to you are likely to be most jealous of you....

I sometimes get irritated with questions... some questions just make me want to throw the candle stick (if it is nearby) at the person....some of these questions are:

a. Where are you going?
b. Who are you going out with?
c. How much do you earn?
d. Whose party are you going for?

Everybody loves a sacrifice

Its amazing how people in this country loves a sacrifice... take Mahatma for instance... he developed a cult status on account of his many fasts.... and then there was the supreme sacrifice made by Sonia Gandhi when she declined the PM post... well I would have thot it was politically astute for her to do that ... but people hailed her as the next Mahatma... and then there is the latest - Anna... his sacrifice of food has set affluter a million shouts ... and people are ready to die to ensure that this mans sacrifice is not in vain...

What is it with India and sacrifice?? an individual is elevated only if there is a sacrifice...

Hazare ki hazaron kwaeishein aisi .... Seriously will the demands never stop?

Ohhhhh my world!!! What in the bl$#@% hell is happening... the whole country is going crazy about this "Anna fast"..... and slamming the government for showing the undemocractic side... let me put some facts straight...

a. Anna was not restricted from protesting... he was restricting from attempting suicide... now in a democracy every government has the right to stop any activity if that will lead to mass hysteria... and unproductive disruption....

b. Anna and team were given the right to give their view point... their demand was for a joint committee to draft the bill... which the Government honored... and took their view point... now why are the demands increasing...

c. Once you have given your view point then leave it to the highest authority in the country, i.e. Parliament, to decide on the law... why highest you ask? because you and I voted for such a body.... and if you dont trust the very body that you voted for then please change it....

d. Is it democracy to demand that only your draft is right....if 10,000 people out of a billion people say it in a concerted manner, does that mean it is right??? So if I dont listen to your demand, then you force me to meet your demands by fasting??? Is that democracy?? To force me to do what you want?? who is being autocratic here???

e. What is Anna's cause?? Is it crusade against Corruption?? if so the whole country is one on this... but if your movement is against the government then sorry nobody is behind you... Anna fighting against the Government is like India fighting against itself...

f. Lastly, the opposition has conjured up images of emergency.. .and called it the second freedom movement... pleaseeee... freedom from what?? freedom from the Parliament which is sitting in session for you?? freedom from the very people you have voted??? this is not some alien force that you are fighting against... the Government is government of the people, by the people, for the people.... and if you dont like it change it next year...

Why are we confusing issues??? Corruption must go... but the Parliament must not.... Anna, Manmohan, Sonia, Advani will all go... what will and should remain is the Parliament....

There is something so disturbing about finding an alien thing in your backyard... so as much as there was expectation that oil would flow into Mumbai today I saw it live and felt completely disgusted..... it has reached the shores and honestly I didnt see any official machinery around to prevent it...

As they say... this is probably the best India can do ... I mean in the middle of crimes, 2G scams, polticians who have to be protected where would the officials be bothere about protecting the environment.....

To think, a city as big and rich like Mumbai faces this threat... what hope is there for other cities....

London burning... me hurting...

Such is life....

Watched The Great Gambler - an old AB film which is my latest craze... The man had charisma... But no matter what this movie was completeley stupid... It had good locales, songs, sex appeal etc... And in some way inadequate for me since it didn't show mumbai... Which is what I love abt the old movies... It shows old mumbai ...

The whole movie is turned on the fact that certain people are after a highly confidential state secret... Which turns out to be nothing more than a technology which is useful to protect the coast line.... The technology apparently detects enemy ships and before the enemy ships reacg the coast, it is burnt from a distance...

Wow... I wish our police had watched this movie before - at least the constant stream of ships getting docked at Juhu involuntarily would be detected early...

Hugh Jackman.... Delicious at any age.... in any form....

At least some things in life are mind numbingly good to look at ......

The stock exchange always lets me down.... Whenever I expect from my investment is rarely given when I expect it.... Infact when I am least expecting a return the stock exchange surprises me.... And gives me more than I expected...

Can we say the same about our investments in human relationships?
Afterall as with stocks we are also taking a chance on each of our relationships
... We really can't foretell whether the relationship will bear any dividend or not... And whether ur investment is going to be appreciated or whether it will sink....

I guess that is the thing with investments - be it the stock market or personal relationships.... There is always potential to be surprised....you never know which relationship is going to giving you the dividend... Just when you least expect it....

Are we sexist or what????

"Pak Bomb lands in India" screamed the headlines.... well not an actual bomb .... it was a back handed compliment to Rabbani Khar, the young attractive foreign minister of Pakistan..... and then Headlines Today interviewed her ... where the foreign editor actually asked her... "what is your priority? Is it family, foreign office or polo??"!!!!! Would this question have been asked if the foreign minister was a man with 10 kids at home??? Sir, what is your priority? Is it the 10 kids at home or the fragile Indo - Pak relations?? And what did the interviewer expect her to answer... No no.. I am the foreign minister in name only... I actually represent my husband and only give time to Indo - Pak relations when my kids are asleep at 9 p.m....

Seriously India.... grow up....

On the other hand I did like the headline of Pak Bomb lands in India.... wonder why no such headlines are screaming out when Karzai lands in Delhi.. Afghan Bomb lands in Delhi.... perhaps that is because bombs land in Afghanistan and not from Afghanistan....

Prisoner of ones own device

So one of the outcomes of the robbery in my house is that I have set up a ultra crazy alarm system in my house.... so everynight I am supposed to switch on, go to sleep soundly and when you wake up you switch off the alarm system and proceed with your day as it is...

Now for the catch... things do turn crazy if you forget to switch it off when you wake up.... so there was the minor incident in my house.... where I woke up in the middle of the night and sought to grab a glass of water.... only to be "alarmed" back into my bedroom.... I screamed my way back to the bedroom....

I finally came out only after I had switched off the alarm from behind the door with ony one extended arm braving the space outside my bedroom.....so for a period of time I was a prisoner of my own device....

Things for life from Sports

Swimming:
When you are in deep water - breathe...... and you will float up...

Running

Dont look back... always keep your eye on the finish line.... if you look to who is catching up with you you will most certainly fall back... if you dont, you will most certainly be the first one to finish.....or at least you will finish

Cycling

Release the fifth gear when the task seems uphill... you will release reserves of energy to enable you to take go up the hill....

Yoga

Sometimes you have to be in the weirdest of positions to get the maximum benefits....

What shows for the 35 years I have been on earth??? well I dont want this post to turn out to be a ego boosting exercise... but one of the person I have become.... some of the key changes in my life ...

- I coloured my hair, straigtened my hair, lost my hair and then decided to leave it alone for a while....

- I lost 17 kilos over a period of 1 year... gained 7 of that back in 6 months while on secondment....but then fun has not measure...

- I lost a bit of my innocense.... though I suffer from this malady still...

- I have become more hesitant in making friends.... fragile relationships are a way of life...

- learned to treasure my family....

- love kids more.... I now like children till they are 9....after than I dont like them that much....

- become more concious of public perception

- travelled a lot.... and still want to ...

- loved and lost... still worth it...

- aspired more...

- learnt politics is not really for me...

- loved Mumbai... and then began to see its seamy side....

- realised that some things are just not going to change... the best is to accept it...

- learnt that I am not a super human being... I clearly cannot be invisible....

- learnt that sometimes it is best not to react....

- learnt that I am not always the most controlled person....

Slaps of Mumbai

The last post seems ominous now... given that Mumbai has been rocked by 3 bomb blasts yet again.... and this time I was in a car at Dadar west when the bomb blasts happened ... I heard the blasts... thot they were unusual... and figured it might be somebody bursting crackers... and went my way.... and realised that something had happened only when I got the message that blasts had happened....

As I say... I am even more convinced that Mumbai lives on Ram Barose.... yet again citizens who were anxious to go home get caught in the middle of this all.....

Mumbai delivers slaps to people once in a while... be it the bomb blasts... train blasts... the floods.... every now and then Mumbai acts as a great leveller.....both rich and poor get affected... so you could be driving in your fancy audi and be stuck along side a yellow and black taxi ..... both of you trying to inch your way forward in the traffic jam......

Perhaps that is the reason people in Mumbai dont show off.... they know that everything can be taken away in a minute.... and that you are no different from the others...

After the November 26th attack in Mumbai there was a stream of angst from the public.... who the hell is protecting us??? how can terrorists armed to the teeth sail across the border and hold the city hostage???? where were the powers that be who were supposed to protect us???? Anger poured out into the streets of Mumbai and evryone discovered their voice....

The anger remains but the voice doesnt... as with everything else in Mumbai the chaos has overtaken the fears... people just got swept away once in the business of making a life...

The toughness of life of a mumbaikar becomes manifest day in and day out to me.... starting with the morning newspaper walla who doesnt come to your house on time... to the lady who cleans your house.... to your cook... your life is a well oiled machinery completely dependant on the professionalism of individuals who probably dont know the meaning of that english word.... what works in Mumbai is the "zabaan"... the words carry more strenghth in this city than the written code... throwing lawyers like me redundant.... I trust my maids to come to my house on time... I trust my maids not to steal from me... I trust my maids not let people into my house... I trust their zabaan.... as much as they trust my zabaan that I will pay them a certain amount of money every month.... in some strange way Mumbai is running on the strenth of the "zabaan".....

You come out to the streets of mumbai and you see life operating in an "organised chaos" basis... there is some rhythm to the chaos.... horns blaring, cars stalling, kids crossing, buses plying, street vendors selling magazines... everybody wants a place in the streets of mumbai... to get on with the business of making a life... and I keep wondering to myself... what prevents another attack on Mumbai?

I mean who is to stop a mad man from running across the street strapped with bombs and blowing himself up... who is to prevent another sea borne attack? everyday you come upon wide gaps in the city's machinery which could have converted into a full fledged attack...and as I drive away I keep hoping that no crazy person with the intent to kill has noticed the gaping hole in the thin fabric of mumbai life....

and I wonder what keeps the city going.. and I can only express it one word ... everything in this city runs on "Ram Barose"... in the faith that God will look after one and all... if you die, then God just wanted you to die that way... if you lived, God just wanted you to live for something....

I wonder whether there is any other city in the word where 20 million people live on sheer faith.... as they say God Knows... or should I say Ram Knows....

In a strange sense what you really thought was most irritating is actually the most important aspect of your life....

I also realised that I am much too poor for my desires.....

Mumbai Musings

Its tough living in Mumbai... everybody agrees.... when they get the time to think about the questions that is.... everybody is in a rush.... rush to get to office, rush to make it back home, rush for the movie, rush before the rains start, rush before the traffic gets bad... rush rush rush....

the Neeraj Grover murder case has been hitting the headlines....for good reason.... the macabre murder shocked everyone... more so because these were people just like you and me who committed the murder.... my parents also weighed in on the issue... according to my dad all 3 parties were wrong... all three??? huh?? what did the victim do?? I pondered loudly.... I should have expected my dad's reply... "why did he go and spend the night at her house? when they are not married?? if you do such things you will get killed" hmmm....I wonder whether that was a subtle message to me from my dad...

in other news my tata sky plus goes blank when the rain starts... nwo I would have thot that they would have enough research done to withstand mumbai monsoons... instead it goes completely blank even during the lightest rains... so I was completely pissed off.... and called customer service .... blah blah blah I complained... only to hear the person tell me... "madam there is nothing wrong with tata sky. What is wrong is your expectation from Tata Sky. Dont expect it to wrok during the rain"..... whattttt?????????????????

Mumbai is a tough place to live in... slowly your good humour also loses sheen... and probably sleep... and added to that there will be no TV during the sleepless nights.....