Christy is at a stage where he is asking about life and death... so recently he asked my sister some really pertinent questions..... which went like this...
Christy: "So you die when you are old?"
Sister: "Yes. When people become old, they die."
Christy: "So I wont die now cos I am not old?"
Sister: "Yes. You wont die now"
Christy: "So that means, because I am young, I wont die even if I jump from the building?"
Well.... what do you say to a kid who thinks like this......
Ofcourse his brother is completely engrossed in growing up... he has started standing up with a little bit of help.... and he loves every minute of standing up... and his aunt loves it to... so now I go meet him and start commanding "Attention" (while simultaneously holding down his hands in attention position) and "At Ease" (while simultaneously crossing his hands at the back)... and Baby George laughs at his aunts antics..... between you and me I love Baby George's smile the best... his smile is so welcoming... so warm... so genuine... he is smiling cos he is really happy to see you..... I just love it when he smiles when he sees me....
Sunday, July 29, 2007
Sunday, July 22, 2007
Defending Law School
There are few things I am proud of in my life.. one of them is my education... particularly my law school education...
despite such pride for the first few years after law school I would downplay law school a lot... "yeah, its overhyped", "the profs are all very bad"... etc etc.... things however changed when I went to LSE.... at one of my visits to a pub with a group of lawyers, one Indian lawyer came up to me and made general conversation... all went fine till I told him that I am from law school.... it was if the air had sucked out all humanity out of him.... he was practically screaching.... "I know you law school types.. who think they are better than us... you guys are nothing special... you dont even know the law"..... while earlier I would just keep quiet and not react but this time I just could not fathom the fact that I was away from my country, in a cosmopolitan city, in the most international city in the world, and I have to hear some insecure nasty lawyer talk ill about my law school???... No Way!... I just could not take it... I just turned to him and said "Sour Grapes".... ofcourse he flared up even more....
and recently I met someone at a party where yet again this conversation surfaced again.... the person was like "I have met some of you law schoolites...some are in my law firm as well... I frankly dont know what is so special about you guys.... I am not even sure you know how to practice law"..... I looked up from my plate and told the person 'Well, what is special about us law schoolites is that all the partners in all the top law firms are law schoolites. I guess there must be something about us ".......... he ofcourse went on the defensive and went on and on about how law schoolites are brilliant etc..........
I am not one for flaunting anything in my life... but I do not like anybody putting down anything in my life either.... I am extremely proud of my life and if anybody thinks I should not be then so be it.... but please help yourself out of my life then...... I wont mind one bit....
despite such pride for the first few years after law school I would downplay law school a lot... "yeah, its overhyped", "the profs are all very bad"... etc etc.... things however changed when I went to LSE.... at one of my visits to a pub with a group of lawyers, one Indian lawyer came up to me and made general conversation... all went fine till I told him that I am from law school.... it was if the air had sucked out all humanity out of him.... he was practically screaching.... "I know you law school types.. who think they are better than us... you guys are nothing special... you dont even know the law"..... while earlier I would just keep quiet and not react but this time I just could not fathom the fact that I was away from my country, in a cosmopolitan city, in the most international city in the world, and I have to hear some insecure nasty lawyer talk ill about my law school???... No Way!... I just could not take it... I just turned to him and said "Sour Grapes".... ofcourse he flared up even more....
and recently I met someone at a party where yet again this conversation surfaced again.... the person was like "I have met some of you law schoolites...some are in my law firm as well... I frankly dont know what is so special about you guys.... I am not even sure you know how to practice law"..... I looked up from my plate and told the person 'Well, what is special about us law schoolites is that all the partners in all the top law firms are law schoolites. I guess there must be something about us ".......... he ofcourse went on the defensive and went on and on about how law schoolites are brilliant etc..........
I am not one for flaunting anything in my life... but I do not like anybody putting down anything in my life either.... I am extremely proud of my life and if anybody thinks I should not be then so be it.... but please help yourself out of my life then...... I wont mind one bit....
Saturday, July 21, 2007
Where do you work?
You know you are a lawyer when:
a) "Leaving early" means leaving at 10 p.m;
b) when the highlight of the day is deciding what to order from the nearest eating joint. Should it be the tandoori chicken with dal or the roast chicken with diet pepsi. Yay!
c) When you notice the flickering light bulb in your office before you notice the non functioning fridge in your house;
d) When your parents start praying for your soul;
e) When you are excitedly told "Please take Sunday off!";
f) When you start correcting spelling mistakes of a menu card at a restaurant;
g) When you hear foreign investment in your sleep and you wake up screaming "FIPB and RBI approvals needed!!!";
h) When you reply to your cousins email saying "This is in response to your mail dated ..." and only stopping when you are reminded about how dorky you might appear to your cousins;
You gotta to love it!
Next round - Being Consultants
a) "Leaving early" means leaving at 10 p.m;
b) when the highlight of the day is deciding what to order from the nearest eating joint. Should it be the tandoori chicken with dal or the roast chicken with diet pepsi. Yay!
c) When you notice the flickering light bulb in your office before you notice the non functioning fridge in your house;
d) When your parents start praying for your soul;
e) When you are excitedly told "Please take Sunday off!";
f) When you start correcting spelling mistakes of a menu card at a restaurant;
g) When you hear foreign investment in your sleep and you wake up screaming "FIPB and RBI approvals needed!!!";
h) When you reply to your cousins email saying "This is in response to your mail dated ..." and only stopping when you are reminded about how dorky you might appear to your cousins;
You gotta to love it!
Next round - Being Consultants
Wednesday, July 18, 2007
Rat Race
Sometimes I feel it is so easy to be swelled up by the great race called the rat race... where everybody is running towards the finish line so that they can get the best acclaim in life - to be called the BEST RAT by the rest of the rats!....
Now mind you I am also in the rat race... I am not for one sitting on the sidelines and claiming to be a creature other than a rat.... I am one and will continue to be so till my EMI does not dictate my work life balance...
But what I dont like is the rat race coming into my personal life.... everybody judges - including me - but I hate the fact that the judgment is so easily passed .... recently a family friend visited me in Mumbai and asked me "Do you have your own house?" Nope. "Do you have your own car?" Nope. "Do you have a cook?" Nope. Next thing I knew she had gone around telling everyone in Kerala how poor(!!) I am.
While it made me laugh I began to wonder - will I ever be considered rich without having a car, a flat and a cook? Will I ever be considered as successful without achieving titles? Will I ever be considered happy without showing the ingredients of the happiness?
Now mind you I am also in the rat race... I am not for one sitting on the sidelines and claiming to be a creature other than a rat.... I am one and will continue to be so till my EMI does not dictate my work life balance...
But what I dont like is the rat race coming into my personal life.... everybody judges - including me - but I hate the fact that the judgment is so easily passed .... recently a family friend visited me in Mumbai and asked me "Do you have your own house?" Nope. "Do you have your own car?" Nope. "Do you have a cook?" Nope. Next thing I knew she had gone around telling everyone in Kerala how poor(!!) I am.
While it made me laugh I began to wonder - will I ever be considered rich without having a car, a flat and a cook? Will I ever be considered as successful without achieving titles? Will I ever be considered happy without showing the ingredients of the happiness?
Saturday, July 14, 2007
Being Cheerful
Today somebody commented about how I am always cheerful.
And that made me lose all my cheer. There is something very ominous about a very cheerful person - either they are brimming with some evil deep inside - like all serial killers or they will completely loose it at a very young age of 40 - like one of those endangered communities where all the folks turn senile.
Ofcourse I think the person was completely wrong. I am not always cheerful. I sulk early morning. I hate bad service and shout at my telephone company pretty often. I also shout my fridge when there is no food for a late night. And most recently I shout at the imaginary enemy hiding in my DVD player who ensures that when I want to watch a movie the DVD player goes bust.
So there I have my demons.
And that made me lose all my cheer. There is something very ominous about a very cheerful person - either they are brimming with some evil deep inside - like all serial killers or they will completely loose it at a very young age of 40 - like one of those endangered communities where all the folks turn senile.
Ofcourse I think the person was completely wrong. I am not always cheerful. I sulk early morning. I hate bad service and shout at my telephone company pretty often. I also shout my fridge when there is no food for a late night. And most recently I shout at the imaginary enemy hiding in my DVD player who ensures that when I want to watch a movie the DVD player goes bust.
So there I have my demons.
Friday, July 13, 2007
Why are lawyers miserable?
An interesting article in a foreing magazine on why lawyers are miserable. While I think being a lawyer is fantastic I do realise that to an outsider it must look like a suicidal job. But this article was really funny.
____________________________________________________
The juxtaposition of two stories in The Times last week - one reporting that top-flght City lawyers were charging as much as £1,000 fln hour for their expertise, another that a quarter of
lawyers wanted to leave their profession - raised a pertinent question: just why are those in the
legal business so miserable?
The Law Society has recently been trying to provide an answer ,but its "quality of life" review, aking the form of workshops, debates and online surveys,has been dragging on inconclusively like a complex fraud case and also seems to have missed some vital evidence from across the pond. You see, as with everything else, America has been doing lawyer dissatisfaction bigger and
bet~~r than us for decades. Polls have at various times established that not just a quarter, but up to 40 per cent of US lawyers want to leave their profession; and whereas British lawyers are only just waking up to the fact they are miserable and want to die, their American counterparts
have been alert to it since 1989,which saw the publication of J. Qeborll Anon's Running From
he. LawrWhy Good Lawyers are, Getting Out òf the Legal Profession. Indeed, there are now almost more books, articles and websites dedicated to the subject of legal despair than there are American lawyers. Which is saying something, given that the USA has more lawyers than people. And last week, to help the Law Society get to the point, I spent two bleak days siftng through the lierature, a process that made it clear City lawyers are unhappy because of:
1. the dehumanising hours.
Remember that bit in The Firm where Tom Cruise's character is told that if he even thinks of a
client in the shower, he should bil it?
Not only can one imagine this actually happening now - lawyers generallý charge on the basis of
bilable hours, and annual targets can: be brutal - but the shower might even be taken in the offce.
Many City firms offer beds and washrooms in offces to enable staff to work .loIlg!!~
While those entering the profession may be prepared for this- an excessive workload is seen as '
a rite of passage - many don't seem to realise that their reward for sellng the best year of their lives is simply the' privilege of being
____________________________________________________
The juxtaposition of two stories in The Times last week - one reporting that top-flght City lawyers were charging as much as £1,000 fln hour for their expertise, another that a quarter of
lawyers wanted to leave their profession - raised a pertinent question: just why are those in the
legal business so miserable?
The Law Society has recently been trying to provide an answer ,but its "quality of life" review, aking the form of workshops, debates and online surveys,has been dragging on inconclusively like a complex fraud case and also seems to have missed some vital evidence from across the pond. You see, as with everything else, America has been doing lawyer dissatisfaction bigger and
bet~~r than us for decades. Polls have at various times established that not just a quarter, but up to 40 per cent of US lawyers want to leave their profession; and whereas British lawyers are only just waking up to the fact they are miserable and want to die, their American counterparts
have been alert to it since 1989,which saw the publication of J. Qeborll Anon's Running From
he. LawrWhy Good Lawyers are, Getting Out òf the Legal Profession. Indeed, there are now almost more books, articles and websites dedicated to the subject of legal despair than there are American lawyers. Which is saying something, given that the USA has more lawyers than people. And last week, to help the Law Society get to the point, I spent two bleak days siftng through the lierature, a process that made it clear City lawyers are unhappy because of:
1. the dehumanising hours.
Remember that bit in The Firm where Tom Cruise's character is told that if he even thinks of a
client in the shower, he should bil it?
Not only can one imagine this actually happening now - lawyers generallý charge on the basis of
bilable hours, and annual targets can: be brutal - but the shower might even be taken in the offce.
Many City firms offer beds and washrooms in offces to enable staff to work .loIlg!!~
While those entering the profession may be prepared for this- an excessive workload is seen as '
a rite of passage - many don't seem to realise that their reward for sellng the best year of their lives is simply the' privilege of being
a:Iowed to sell the rest of their lives in the capacity of partner.Which, of course, negates the
only advantage of being a lawyer:the cash: Leaving aside the question of whether money can
make you happy, it is prett obviousit won't if you have no time to spend it .
2. the yawning gap between their intellgence and the mind-numbing nature of their work. The word "lawyer" may trigger images of attractive people making clever arguments in wood-panelled courtrooms, but most spend the majority of their time in back offces draftng and redrafing small print that almost no one will read. At least if you flpped burgers
for a living you'd have the satisfaction of giving people momentary pleasure.
3. the yawning gap between the ideals of those entering theprofession and the reality. Some
go into law because they dream of fighting injustice, but discover on entering that most of what lawyers do benefits big business.
Others enter the profession because they are seduced by the apparent glamour of the trade, as
portrayed in Ally McBeal and LA -Law, only to find that the work is about as glamorous as getting a verruca (cf point 2). Then there are those graduates - as much as 47 per cent of" the profession, according to a recent survey - who drift into the job because thty don't
know what else to do, assuming vaguely that it might be fun, and find on entering that it is about,is amusing as breaking a limb in a traffc accident (cf point 1). '.
Repeatedly. For 90 hours a week.
only advantage of being a lawyer:the cash: Leaving aside the question of whether money can
make you happy, it is prett obviousit won't if you have no time to spend it .
2. the yawning gap between their intellgence and the mind-numbing nature of their work. The word "lawyer" may trigger images of attractive people making clever arguments in wood-panelled courtrooms, but most spend the majority of their time in back offces draftng and redrafing small print that almost no one will read. At least if you flpped burgers
for a living you'd have the satisfaction of giving people momentary pleasure.
3. the yawning gap between the ideals of those entering theprofession and the reality. Some
go into law because they dream of fighting injustice, but discover on entering that most of what lawyers do benefits big business.
Others enter the profession because they are seduced by the apparent glamour of the trade, as
portrayed in Ally McBeal and LA -Law, only to find that the work is about as glamorous as getting a verruca (cf point 2). Then there are those graduates - as much as 47 per cent of" the profession, according to a recent survey - who drift into the job because thty don't
know what else to do, assuming vaguely that it might be fun, and find on entering that it is about,is amusing as breaking a limb in a traffc accident (cf point 1). '.
Repeatedly. For 90 hours a week.
4. the cumulatively lowering nature of the work. We all end up being shaped by our careers. ,
Journalists become rude,incorrgible gossips. Police offcers start believing what they read in
the Daily Mail. Lawyers, meanwhile, become competitive, aggressive, judgmental, analytical, ..
adversarial, emotionally detached, paranoid of being sued and, worst of all, pessimistic. Being a good lawyer involves assuming that people wil do the most awfl things and that treachery is to be expected. It's inevitable that this negativity eventually seeps into their personal lives.
5. the vortex of hatred that envelops them entirely. I'm not only referring here to those
surveys that put lawyers among poliicians and journalists as the least popular of professionals.
I'm also referrng to the fact that lawyers despise each other (cf point 4), despise themselves
(cf points I, 2, 3,4), are despised by their clients (for charging too much, not always winning
cases) and, in return; despise their clients back.
Journalists become rude,incorrgible gossips. Police offcers start believing what they read in
the Daily Mail. Lawyers, meanwhile, become competitive, aggressive, judgmental, analytical, ..
adversarial, emotionally detached, paranoid of being sued and, worst of all, pessimistic. Being a good lawyer involves assuming that people wil do the most awfl things and that treachery is to be expected. It's inevitable that this negativity eventually seeps into their personal lives.
5. the vortex of hatred that envelops them entirely. I'm not only referring here to those
surveys that put lawyers among poliicians and journalists as the least popular of professionals.
I'm also referrng to the fact that lawyers despise each other (cf point 4), despise themselves
(cf points I, 2, 3,4), are despised by their clients (for charging too much, not always winning
cases) and, in return; despise their clients back.
Handling others people's' problems, unless you are Mother Theresa or Esther Rantze,n,
-eventually becomes tedious, especially when most of those problems relate to money.
6. the self-inflcted nature of their suffering. Because of the way City firms work, most senior
. lawyers, as well as having to spend too long doing too much dull work, are under intense
pressure to attract new business. When dissatisfaction kicks in, it's implified by the fact that the work' making them unhappy is self-imposed. It's like waking up to find someone drillng a hole
into your head, only to realise the sadist wielding the Black 'n' Decker ' is actually you.
Looking back over this list, I realise little of it is going to elicit much sympathy. Somehow, I can't
see the Red Cross diverting resources away from Darfur to come to the rescue of professionals earning £1,000 an hour.
But humaú"misery isn't relative, and I can't help thinking these problems could be solved. All City firms need to do is take a moment or take a gooolook at themselves. But that must ( be
diffcult when time is (so much) money.
-eventually becomes tedious, especially when most of those problems relate to money.
6. the self-inflcted nature of their suffering. Because of the way City firms work, most senior
. lawyers, as well as having to spend too long doing too much dull work, are under intense
pressure to attract new business. When dissatisfaction kicks in, it's implified by the fact that the work' making them unhappy is self-imposed. It's like waking up to find someone drillng a hole
into your head, only to realise the sadist wielding the Black 'n' Decker ' is actually you.
Looking back over this list, I realise little of it is going to elicit much sympathy. Somehow, I can't
see the Red Cross diverting resources away from Darfur to come to the rescue of professionals earning £1,000 an hour.
But humaú"misery isn't relative, and I can't help thinking these problems could be solved. All City firms need to do is take a moment or take a gooolook at themselves. But that must ( be
diffcult when time is (so much) money.
Tuesday, July 10, 2007
Favourite Songs
I used to always be scared of telling me people my kind of music... yes, for fear of being judged as a person with "no taste" or for having "plebian taste"... so most often I would pretend to like some arty music, where I would be waiting for the music to start and looking around I would realise that the music has already started ... infact I am 20 minutes late in realising it... so I have decided that I shall stop pretending and just claim some music as mine - I like it and that is all that matters!!!! So booo! to all you judgmental people....
So here is the list of my all time favourite songs:
1) Layla by Eric Clapton - I love this song cos it is so sexy. Pity I am not called Layla. Or can I change my name for one song?
2) Come Undone by Duran Duran - This song sort of puts me in a mood to enjoy a quiet evening... ah...
3) Black Magic Woman by Santana - Period.
4) Horse with no name by America - Very different. Very catchy
5) Come as you are by Nirvana - Awesome. Period.
6) Aisha by Khalid - Once again, can I change my name for one song?
7) Have you ever loved a woman by Bryan Adams? - Yes, have you?
8) Hazard by Richard Marz - Special cos it was my room mate, Anna, who introduced me to this song and with extreme patience explained the whole meaning of the song. Have to say, everytime I listen to that song, I feel I am back in my hostel room in law school squatting on Anna's bed. Sorry Anna for all the squatting but thanks for this song.
9) White Flag by Dido - Just love her voice
10) I feel good by James Brown (I think!) - Yes, I do feel good most often.
11) Girl by Beatles - Yes, I wish I was that girl they were singing about.
12) La Isla Bonita by Madonna - I can actually sing this song!
13) Jesus to a Child by George Michael - I am just mesmerised by this song
14) My All by Mariah Carey - I cant get enough of this
15) Spin the Wheel by George Michael - Ok, besides being gorgeous Georgy can make a girl rock
16) Maria by Santana - Dont you just feel sexy? Even if you are not a maria?
17) Englishman in NewYork by Sting - just sheer brilliance!
18) Rent by Pet Shop Boys - My fav oldie !
19 ) La Luna by Belinda Carlie ( excuse the spelling) - Just dance!
20) Sing by Travis - it encourages me to sing!
Thats just the twenty that comes to my mind. More later.
So here is the list of my all time favourite songs:
1) Layla by Eric Clapton - I love this song cos it is so sexy. Pity I am not called Layla. Or can I change my name for one song?
2) Come Undone by Duran Duran - This song sort of puts me in a mood to enjoy a quiet evening... ah...
3) Black Magic Woman by Santana - Period.
4) Horse with no name by America - Very different. Very catchy
5) Come as you are by Nirvana - Awesome. Period.
6) Aisha by Khalid - Once again, can I change my name for one song?
7) Have you ever loved a woman by Bryan Adams? - Yes, have you?
8) Hazard by Richard Marz - Special cos it was my room mate, Anna, who introduced me to this song and with extreme patience explained the whole meaning of the song. Have to say, everytime I listen to that song, I feel I am back in my hostel room in law school squatting on Anna's bed. Sorry Anna for all the squatting but thanks for this song.
9) White Flag by Dido - Just love her voice
10) I feel good by James Brown (I think!) - Yes, I do feel good most often.
11) Girl by Beatles - Yes, I wish I was that girl they were singing about.
12) La Isla Bonita by Madonna - I can actually sing this song!
13) Jesus to a Child by George Michael - I am just mesmerised by this song
14) My All by Mariah Carey - I cant get enough of this
15) Spin the Wheel by George Michael - Ok, besides being gorgeous Georgy can make a girl rock
16) Maria by Santana - Dont you just feel sexy? Even if you are not a maria?
17) Englishman in NewYork by Sting - just sheer brilliance!
18) Rent by Pet Shop Boys - My fav oldie !
19 ) La Luna by Belinda Carlie ( excuse the spelling) - Just dance!
20) Sing by Travis - it encourages me to sing!
Thats just the twenty that comes to my mind. More later.
Monday, July 09, 2007
Sunday, July 08, 2007
I always find it difficult to assess whether people like me or not... actually I dont trust my assessment... so while I might have gone around thinking everything is perfect in my equation the other person had a totally different take on it.... so I am really reluctant to readily accept any evaluation of people liking me.....
and more so with kids.... I am just not sure whether they like me or not ... Christy baffles me sometimes.... he sometimes calls me up to say that he misses me.... but the next time he sees me he starts hitting and biting me .... and I come away feeling completely confused.... and now it is the turn of Baby George.... given the fact that I was the first person in the world to hold him my mom feels that I will always share a special bond with him.... I disbelieve that... firstly cos I generally dont consider myself to be great with kids (although my friends say that I am great with them) and secondly he is a baby!! how much does he know about the nurse who held him and me .... and recently when I was showing one of those home videos of Baby George and me my friend immediately quipped "he likes you so much"... what??? no way.. he is just playing .... ...
and today when I went to my sister's place, my sister tells me that Baby George heard my voice from the other room, listened for a while and then smiled... my sister was completely shocked.... and after a while of playing, Baby George refused to go to sleep ... and when he did he kept raising his head to see whether I was around.... and ofcourse the standard routine of following me around the house continued today as well....... and me being me I stood in differents parts of the room just to see whether he would actually come to me... and he did!!
After all this I came away thinking - Does Baby George really like me that much??? Nah... he is probably bored of routine ....
and more so with kids.... I am just not sure whether they like me or not ... Christy baffles me sometimes.... he sometimes calls me up to say that he misses me.... but the next time he sees me he starts hitting and biting me .... and I come away feeling completely confused.... and now it is the turn of Baby George.... given the fact that I was the first person in the world to hold him my mom feels that I will always share a special bond with him.... I disbelieve that... firstly cos I generally dont consider myself to be great with kids (although my friends say that I am great with them) and secondly he is a baby!! how much does he know about the nurse who held him and me .... and recently when I was showing one of those home videos of Baby George and me my friend immediately quipped "he likes you so much"... what??? no way.. he is just playing .... ...
and today when I went to my sister's place, my sister tells me that Baby George heard my voice from the other room, listened for a while and then smiled... my sister was completely shocked.... and after a while of playing, Baby George refused to go to sleep ... and when he did he kept raising his head to see whether I was around.... and ofcourse the standard routine of following me around the house continued today as well....... and me being me I stood in differents parts of the room just to see whether he would actually come to me... and he did!!
After all this I came away thinking - Does Baby George really like me that much??? Nah... he is probably bored of routine ....
Saturday, July 07, 2007
Yet another rainy morning when Alice stepped out with her camera to capture Mumbai... Was really fascinated by the remnants of a fort in Bandra and which still had portugese writing on it!!! Ofcourse the words "AMIDON99" just below it adds no value to it and only enhances the feeling of dilapidation... the fort has an amphitheatre where concerts can be held but is in such a bad shape that you will spot only canoodling couples there... this despite a board saying clearing "No anti social activities"...The last picture happened by mistake when the winds brought the umbrella in front of the camera... but net effect I liked....
Time to change this blog?
Talking about change I am slowly beginning to consider closing this blog down and shifting to an anonymous blogger mode... While I excitedly sent out my blog details to all and sundry when I created it I now feel I should have just kept my mouth shut about it. Like a friend immediately wrote back "I am glad to see you are willing to share your feelings in public". That should have been my cue.
Nowadays I am extremely concious about the fact that somebody reading this may be someone who is not my friend. Maybe a misplaced fear but one that is there nevertheless. And there are also so many things I am not able to discuss on this blog cos there are some things that are just private.
Hmmm......
Talking about change I am slowly beginning to consider closing this blog down and shifting to an anonymous blogger mode... While I excitedly sent out my blog details to all and sundry when I created it I now feel I should have just kept my mouth shut about it. Like a friend immediately wrote back "I am glad to see you are willing to share your feelings in public". That should have been my cue.
Nowadays I am extremely concious about the fact that somebody reading this may be someone who is not my friend. Maybe a misplaced fear but one that is there nevertheless. And there are also so many things I am not able to discuss on this blog cos there are some things that are just private.
Hmmm......
Friday, July 06, 2007
Of late I have been thinking about changes that happen in one's life..... as a child you are never prepared to face changes .... as an adult sometimes you keep hoping for a change in your life... most often one is never prepared for that change - good or bad... sometimes the long awaited change comes at a time when you really dont expect it anymore despite longing for it....
Personally there have been many changes in my life ... looking back, however painful it might have been at that time, I dont think I would have wanted life any other way.... for instance the biggest change in my life was the shift from Oman to Kerala... while I love India blah blah blah, for me the shift was a complete nightmare...
I found it extremely difficult to adjust to a life in Kerala..... found it difficult that I could not cycle around (lest people start talking about you), found it difficult that there was no place where one could go and play bad minton or just play carroms, found it difficult to understand the new people I was getting to know, found it difficult to understand why money was all of a sudden of paramount importance in one's life, found it difficult to understand why I was not taken to school in a school bus (my school didnt provide me that service)..... I just found it difficult. Period.
Over time I gradully adjusted to India and finally found my place only in law school... I am now as comfortable in India as Baby George is in his swing cot..... I love the pace, the chaos, challenges.........
The other big change in my life was ofcourse law school... it was a wonderful change that was due for a long time.... and quite honestly after Kerala it was like I was let up from under water to breathe...... and breathe I did..... and then ofcourse as a result of that I came to Mumbai to work and everybody knows my feelings about Mumbai...
the other big change in my life was my study in London for a year.... It was such an exciting yet anxiety inducing time for me.... I was ecstatic about having got the scholarship to LSE... I was even more ecstatic that I would get to live in London for a year... I remember excitedly packing up my stuff, selling my beautiful low seater chairs, shipping my antique chair to Kottayam, saying goodbyes to all and sundry and heading out to the UK as excited as Baby George gets when he sees food..... what a one year I had... I learned so much, travelled so much, met so many people, studied spanish ....... whew!
And sometimes you see changes happening in another persons life and that affects you ... like my sister shifting to Mumbai and now being a die hard Mumbai fan.... I cannot think of a time without her now...or my friends who all shifted out of Mumbai one by one cos of educatio, marriage or just a change of city.... or the entry of Baby George into this world..... all of them have affected my life in some way or the other....
I guess there will be many more changes in my life - some good some bad....
Change is constant. Thankgod it is.
Personally there have been many changes in my life ... looking back, however painful it might have been at that time, I dont think I would have wanted life any other way.... for instance the biggest change in my life was the shift from Oman to Kerala... while I love India blah blah blah, for me the shift was a complete nightmare...
I found it extremely difficult to adjust to a life in Kerala..... found it difficult that I could not cycle around (lest people start talking about you), found it difficult that there was no place where one could go and play bad minton or just play carroms, found it difficult to understand the new people I was getting to know, found it difficult to understand why money was all of a sudden of paramount importance in one's life, found it difficult to understand why I was not taken to school in a school bus (my school didnt provide me that service)..... I just found it difficult. Period.
Over time I gradully adjusted to India and finally found my place only in law school... I am now as comfortable in India as Baby George is in his swing cot..... I love the pace, the chaos, challenges.........
The other big change in my life was ofcourse law school... it was a wonderful change that was due for a long time.... and quite honestly after Kerala it was like I was let up from under water to breathe...... and breathe I did..... and then ofcourse as a result of that I came to Mumbai to work and everybody knows my feelings about Mumbai...
the other big change in my life was my study in London for a year.... It was such an exciting yet anxiety inducing time for me.... I was ecstatic about having got the scholarship to LSE... I was even more ecstatic that I would get to live in London for a year... I remember excitedly packing up my stuff, selling my beautiful low seater chairs, shipping my antique chair to Kottayam, saying goodbyes to all and sundry and heading out to the UK as excited as Baby George gets when he sees food..... what a one year I had... I learned so much, travelled so much, met so many people, studied spanish ....... whew!
And sometimes you see changes happening in another persons life and that affects you ... like my sister shifting to Mumbai and now being a die hard Mumbai fan.... I cannot think of a time without her now...or my friends who all shifted out of Mumbai one by one cos of educatio, marriage or just a change of city.... or the entry of Baby George into this world..... all of them have affected my life in some way or the other....
I guess there will be many more changes in my life - some good some bad....
Change is constant. Thankgod it is.
Thursday, July 05, 2007
Today when I went to meet Baby George, he was hidden behind a large suitcase... he was trying to decipher the large object in front of him and only gave up the quest when his aunt stormed in... what surprises me is that Baby George is always stunned to see me... he keeps observing me for a while trying to make sense of this moving blob in front of him.... and then he lets out a smile....
and the latest in Baby George's life is that he has two tiny teeth.... they are so tiny that you cant make out that they are there unless you allow him to bite you.... actually you dont need to allow him he will anyways bite you.... and as always he again followed me around the house and came up to the door when I was leaving for office... this time I carried him all the way upto the taxi and made him say good bye to me..... ahh..I love such moments...
and the latest in Baby George's life is that he has two tiny teeth.... they are so tiny that you cant make out that they are there unless you allow him to bite you.... actually you dont need to allow him he will anyways bite you.... and as always he again followed me around the house and came up to the door when I was leaving for office... this time I carried him all the way upto the taxi and made him say good bye to me..... ahh..I love such moments...
Tuesday, July 03, 2007
The One Fetish
I have finally come to terms with the one fetish I have in life - Shoes!... I buy shoes as if my life depends on it.. so I have shoes for rains, shoes for summer, shoes for winter, shoes for office (ofcourse!), shoes for trekking, shoes for formal dinner and myriad other activities that I keep thinking I will undertake....
But recently my fetish for shoes has had quite a painful outcome.... After nearly 3 months I decided to splurge on shoes and trotted off to Metro Shoes... and purchased what I thought were really nice looking pair of shoes... I mean my feet looked nice in them and I could walk in them (in the shop at least)..what more do I need?..... and excitedly wore it in office the next minute... except I didnt stop to consider the effect wood pannelling in my office would have on my dainty little shoes.... I kept slipping and kept holding on to anything (including humans) to prevent a complete humiliation....
and off I stormed to the shop to exchange my one minute old shoe.... and got in its stead another dainty pair of shoes... well I looked nice in them, I could walk in them (I checked on wooden panneling as well)... what more do I need??.... and excitedly wore it in office the next minute.... this time I didnt stop to consider whether the shoes would actually fit me!!! It feels as if the shoes are baying for my blood and I walk around as if I am making my feet do some penance for some past sin....
Penance and me dont look too good together.... and now it is too humiliating for me to go back and change my shoes once again ...
There are two options for me - never wear my shoes again which is completely scandalous to my middle class mentality or become as thin as Victoria Beckam so that my entire body fits into the shoes.. ofcourse in the process I can look like I am doing penance for having ever eaten in my life... hmmm...
But recently my fetish for shoes has had quite a painful outcome.... After nearly 3 months I decided to splurge on shoes and trotted off to Metro Shoes... and purchased what I thought were really nice looking pair of shoes... I mean my feet looked nice in them and I could walk in them (in the shop at least)..what more do I need?..... and excitedly wore it in office the next minute... except I didnt stop to consider the effect wood pannelling in my office would have on my dainty little shoes.... I kept slipping and kept holding on to anything (including humans) to prevent a complete humiliation....
and off I stormed to the shop to exchange my one minute old shoe.... and got in its stead another dainty pair of shoes... well I looked nice in them, I could walk in them (I checked on wooden panneling as well)... what more do I need??.... and excitedly wore it in office the next minute.... this time I didnt stop to consider whether the shoes would actually fit me!!! It feels as if the shoes are baying for my blood and I walk around as if I am making my feet do some penance for some past sin....
Penance and me dont look too good together.... and now it is too humiliating for me to go back and change my shoes once again ...
There are two options for me - never wear my shoes again which is completely scandalous to my middle class mentality or become as thin as Victoria Beckam so that my entire body fits into the shoes.. ofcourse in the process I can look like I am doing penance for having ever eaten in my life... hmmm...
Sunday, July 01, 2007
Mumbai in the Rains
I love the rains and unlike most mumbaikars I love mumbai in the rains.. yes it is slushy, dirty, traffic jam inducing etc etc but look around people - Mumbai actually looks gorgeous! ... I love the rain anywhere but since this is my city I get to kick back and enjoy the rain from my house.... ofcourse in my home in Kottayam I get pampered with home cooked food when it rains.....
so once the rains lashed mumbai like it was going out of style I decided to venture out and capture the mood in mumbai..... and as un- expected my camera discharged just when I took it out ..... so once again I was stuck with a dilemma - to take or not to take..... and finally went with the first option.... in the process I got to see a rain drenched mumbai in all its beauty... and for the first time I went into Prince of Wales museum ..... it is quite nice I must add.... and got to see beautiful parts of Ballard Estate, Horniman Circle, The Naval Dockyard........ and ofcourse there was Taj Mahal hotel and Marine Drive which I didnt capture........
But this was more like a trial run for me... I want to do a proper photo tour soon.... with more planning... and capture Crawford Market, Chor Bazaar, Ban Ganga, Victoria Terminus........ anybody game???
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