My friend in Mumbai lost her parent just after Diwali.....for me this is the second death in a span of 4 months - so many changes to fathom...

And being away from home at these times is really difficult.... and more so with friends.... a certain unwanted distance comes in when one is not in the same city.... so with friends unless the friend reaches out to you most often you are not aware of what exactly the friend is feeling... and because the family has just gone through the tragedy you also do not want to bother the friend and her family with your phone calls from UK..... yes, it would have been different if I was in India - I would have been able to just go over to their place and just be in the background... there is something so impersonal about phonecalls in the time of tragedy..... I dont know... ofcourse it is worse if you dont call at all... but everytime I call I always wonder whether I am intruding and inconveniencing them..... and somewhere you think that the friend has a husband and family around so you are probably not missed anyways...

I might be wrong in my thinking... and probably not acted in the best way in the past on account of these thoughts.....I dont know....