A while back I had a discussion with a client enroute to a meeting.... we were in a foreign country and my client was greatly appreciative of the country's roads.... and then almost predictably said 'why cant we have all this infrastructure in India. Sometimes I wish the British had stayed on and we would have a better life'.... and almost immediately I shook my head and said 'no no no.... I am glad we have control over our own country'.... my client argued back.... why? Indians are useless at managing anything on their own... look at the mess we have created in the country (mind you this was an Indian arguing back)......My response was not unusual but something that I have been exposed to ...'look around us... look what years of colonialism has done to our confidence... our physche.... we still wish we were white skinned... we still believe that our products will not be as good as the product made by a white man... we still cant believe we are capable of innovation... its almost like 300 years of colonial rule just made us forget the great strides made by Indian 5000 years ago when the greatest thing the British had ever built was the stonehenge...' and then concluded emphatically 'I dont ever want to feel that I am not good enough compared to a white man/woman'.....

more recently at a dinner thrown by Britishers, I was complimenting the British for having helped develop India's legal system and education system..... and uncharacterstically my British friends said 'we must have done terrible things to your country as well'... and I repeated what I had told my client in a very toned down manner 'it just affected our confidence as a nation'...

While some may disagreed with my analysis I distinctly feel that the people of India still view India as being a land where incompetent people live.... I mean in this country we headline successes made by American Indians abroad to feel good about ourselves... and for that split second every Indian child who reads that report feels 'ok, I can also do it even though I am from India'.... We Indians feel that somehow we are not destined for greatness - that whatever success we have achieved is on account of luck rather than our own talent for innovation......

I am myself guilty of feeilng apologetic of where I come from... and making derogatory comments about India in part to preempt any form of derogatory comments from the listening party....

I would like to believe that I am no longer apologetic... and now when asked where I come from I proudly declare 'I am from Mumbai'... no apologies, no pretensions. just fact.

do I feel better? Hell ya!