My friend and I were recently discussing about where we are and where we actually thought we would land up while growing up....

To be honest, growing up I had a sense of urgency to get out and go places..... to break away from the shackles of society and do something on your own... to build a life for your self... to earn for yourself.... stand on your own feet... be a participant in the world.... I have no idea where or how I got these ideas but I suspect my father had something to do with it... with that in mind I tailored my life... and I loved every minute of that process... ofcourse when failures came along I didnt particularly like it but I still had the sense to move on...

which brings me to the question - what if I was born with everything? as in i had the nice house, the nice car, nice holidays, active social life with my parents... and I didnt really need to work towards anything... would I be this driven? Would I aim to improve myself?? I am not sure....

Which is why I think the best gift you can give your children is the gift of vision... vision into the future for themselves.... something they have to strive for in their life.... something they cant take for granted....

I am sure glad my parents gave me nothing more than education... I dont know whether the next generation will view it similarly...

So I decided to take off to NY to be with friends for the weekend... my uncles passing away stressed me out a lot sitting in DC and I decided to destress myself... and boy am I glad I took the decision....

so off I went to take my first ever train ride to NYC on Amtrack... early in the morning at 5:30.....at first when I reached Washington Union Station I was confused since I didnt find any people at the station... Is this the right Station? Where are the people... turned out it was the right station and I reminded myself that I should not expect to see milling crowd in all railway stations the way I see in Churchgate, Mumbai.

So I landed up at my friends place - to find her son and her sons friend taking a bath .... memories of me scaring baby george during his bath time came flooding back to me... and I immediately jumped from behind the shower curtain on two unsuspecting 4 year olds... luckily for me the 4 year old didnt start crying with terror but laughed along... otherwise I would have soon been declared unsafe around children and that would have been an ignomious end to my weekend plans.... followed it up with a good lunch of dal and chapati... only to follow that with a disappointing exit by US (Yes, I support USA) in the football world cup..... in the evening we strolled to the park where my friend made a failedattempt to fly the kite and made claims about the kite flying that were taller than the actual length that the kite flew to....

next day after a leisurly brunch (yummy Cobb salad) and an unexpected shopping bonanza, I was picked up by my friend and taken to the suburbs of NY ..... and for the first time in my life I got to see actual suburban life in the US... with the white picket fences, large gardens, surrounding forest, the mail boxes which are actual out in the front loan and is actually shaped like a house (yes the one that is there in the Tom and Jerry cartoons) !!! My friend and her three kids were a delight..... especially the little one who was the same age as Baby George... and he spoke so much! I am generally not good with kids ( I only scare them)....so I was really surprised to see that they all kept asking me questions and were curious about me... hahah....

and now I am finally in DC... and will be here for the July 4th weekend... which promises to be a fun event... keeping my fingers crossed....

my uncle passed away...my maternal uncle in South Africa...

I had casually called my mom up to chat with her this morning on the way to work ... and then she told me the news.... I just stopped in my tracks....

It is so difficult to deal with death when you are not near your family... for the moment I hate being so far away.... I hate it....

Ofcourse you cant avoid NY when you are in the States.... I was invited to attend an event in NY by the firm and I was more than happy to oblige... what a city... it just sweeps me with its buzz... in someways like Mumbai... everybody is on the go and keen to get somewhere... I love that about cities....

I was lucky to be put up a hotel in downtown... I grabbed lunch from one of the cafes there and went to Trinity Church and had a peaceful lunch... Trinity Chruch is more than 200 years old and that is where Columbia Univ started... I was quite happy to learn that.... and then trying to find my way to the office I lost my way in Wall Street - and I am so glad I did!! I saw the raging bull, the stock exchanges, the "turnstiles", the bankers and lawyers walking down in their professional finery... amazing sense of being....

The event itself was a women's oriented event - suprised to find the same issues dogging American law firms with respect to women lawyers - where do they go after a family? what about the loss of talent? What can be do to retain them? What do we do to get them back on the highway? Nobody had any answers... we all drank champagne to that!

And then went out for a night out with my friend - which was even more fabulous... got to try some mexican food which was yummy.... and then for a drink at the Ritz Carlton....

Total bliss... and then back to Washington ..... and back to dreaming of going to NY again...

7th day in the United States and what have I done so far?

Well I managed to trigger my fire alarm twice the past two days - once cos I slept off after putting something on the stove and second cos the fire alarm is crazy (it just went off by itself)...

I managed to visit the gym and swimming pool in my building.... very nice... I am yet to use the swimming pool but I am sure I will find an opportunity....

watched USA draw with Slovakia with a bunch of frenzied Americans... actually even I was frenzied cos I was supporting the USA.... felt totally sad about the bad call made by the referee... a mistake and what a loss to the United States...

Seen the whole country debate about the oil spill in the Gulf of Mexico.... damnnn I wonder what India would have done had this happened - actually I dont need to wonder, I saw what they did for Bhopal... but I saw half the country gunning for Obama and half the country defending him.... As some Americans told me - whatever Obama does now will be criticised... and I watched a TV debate where an obvious republican supporter asked sarcastically "but isnt Obama a messiah?" Cant believe this is so personal... and also saw the entire country go up in arms over the republican congressman saying that it is a "tragedy" that BP has been asked to pay 20 billion dollars.... some Amercians pointed out that he is probably funded by BP and was paid to speak that way... so turns out corruption is not limited to my country... it just appears more clean and legal here.... hmmm....

I am yet to see Obama, White House, Hillary or anything to do with the Government... I really hope to do that this weekend or the weekend after that..... all in all my conclusion is that Washington is a peaceful city - somewhat like Delhi (albeit without the dirt and grime)....

Are all footballers goodlooking or is Washinton air making me deluded????

George in Georgetown

So this is week one (Day 2) of my stay in Washington... it all started off chaotic with me missing my car pick up, with no phone connection and just taking a cab to Washington... i managed to reach safely thanks to the nice taxi driver who gave me his phone to use.... and all was well when I reached my apartment which was super cool..... it had a nice feel to it and was fully furnished with internt and tv etc...

and then I did some exploring around the city and realised that I am actually living next to the best part of Washington DC - Georgetown! Georgetown is so quaint looking with so many cafes and small places to shop that it almost feels like I am in Europe.... and today I topped it with a jog in Georgetown along the Potomac river (which sounds very native American to me)....

I have so far not met people in my building - I believe there are people from all nationalities here.... I do hope to make friends in the building....

The biggest challenge is food... I tried cooking today with no sucess ... so I am still eating cornflakes and oats... with some cut fruits thrown in..... and ofcourse there was the dishwasher disaster where it got flooded cos I used the wrong deterrgent.... right now I have called a truce with the dishwater asking it not to spew more foam.... please pleasee.....

Tomorrow I start work.... I am getting butterflies... why is it that after so many years in the profession I still fell like a nervous wreck while taking up a new assignment.... whats the matter with me??

So there is a game I play with Baby George... I catch him, ask him to open his mouth and then ask him "what happened to your teeth?" And Baby George used to get flummexed and start searching for his teeth and totally get confused.....

Now the kid has grown up - so when i recently played the same game with him this is how it went:

Me: Arre where is your teeth?

BG: Looks confused, searches for his teeth and points it out to me

Me: Arre, nahi hai. Kahan gaya?

BG: Theekh Hai, Nahi Hai.

What????? Game over?

So I was in Kerala this weekend to garner some sympathy for my impending trip to the US. So I spoke to my parents (who were obviously weepy), my sister, my sister in law and my brother (who seemed quite nonchalant to the whole trip) and ofcourse to the "brats".... the initial reaction of Christy was "please could you get me a pen back from the US? and not one made in China like tha last one you got me"... ok sir... and then there was Baby George who didnt quite understand the nuances of what I was saying... so I tried to impress upon him that I will be away from him for 6 months (no reaction), I will not meet him for 6 months (still no reaction) and I will not be able to take him out for 6 months (still noooo reaction)... ok change in strategy.... I might as well get him on board with the US trip ... so I tried teaching him the name of the place I was going to visit.... so I taught Baby George "Vava aunty is going to Washing - ton, Washing - ton".... and Baby George after few fumbles got it right and would promplty say "Washington!...

that was until some relatives came over .... and as any self respecting grandparent would do my parents asked him to "perform" for the relatives by asking Baby George "So where is Vavaaunty going?"...... and prompt came the reply "Washing Machine!"...... I ducked under the nearest desk to avoid the gleeful glances of my relatives who apparently did believe that I was going to the Washing Machine.....

I am going to take this out on Baby George when he grows up!

Sometimes I wonder why people behave in a certain way or manner.... I really cant figure out... and I have learned by now no to figure out why people behave a certain way.... people have their own reasons for behaving in a certain way ....

The most important part is how you deal with it..... I mostly react by withdrawing and storing up pent up anger.... only to have it all come out at one go...

I am not sure that is the right way... but that is the only way I function right now....

This is an ode to my co-desk mate - lets call him "Mostly Harmless"...

So Mostly Harmless and me have been co-desk mates for the past 2 years.... we have one long stretch of white table between us... and when we commenced our desk partnership we carefully divided the space into equal halves and did a fair assessment of what kind of items can be put on my side of the desk and his side of the desk....

So off it started off to a very happy co-existence... with pleasantries and smiles exchanged everyday..... until ofcourse Mostly Harmless decided to become a little more relaxed about our carefully devised division of the desk......well the honey moon had to end like any good marriage..... Soon enough I would find papers of Mostly Harmless on my desk.... and even sometimes on my chair.... and if that was not bad enough Mostly Harmless would spread his papers and other paraphernalia under my desk - "technically that was not divided"... so I would suddenly be sitting on top of the "Transfer of Property Act"... or my legs would be resting against Mulla, Contract Act ..... and my protests would be greeted with "Alice, chill..... loosen up"... and my mind would be screaming "yes I will loosen up your neck soon"....

All to no avail... now I sit next to Mostly Harmless having reconciled myself to my fate.... divided as we are by a tall wall of Income Tax bare Act, mixed with some old newspapers, draft documents, old ties and perhaps even some worms.... and when I queried Mostly Harmless about the possibility of vermin growing in the heap Mostly Harmless confidently responded " we have good pest control systems"...

gee thanks..... guess what I am not going to be missing when I am away.....

So I am finally leaving India on June 11 - I thought I had more time in India but it is finally decided that I will be flying out on June 11 and joining work on June 14th... At first my mind immediately started spinning thinking about all the things i had to get done before I left... and then i became numb about it ....

And I thought I would find some people to share my concerns with... so I started calling up people and telling them that I am leaving by june 11.... some ofcourse did as I expected and reacted saying "that is so little time - we need to meet before that".... while others didnt react at all... "oh good" is all they said.... and to them I screamed "hello, how about some emotions here! I am going to be away for 6/9 months and all you can tell me "oh good".. I mean where is your heart??"... and then look at me bewildered and startled.... "you want us to be sad that you are going to be in Washington, New York and London in the next 6 months????" all I manage is a feeble and unconvincing "yes"..

Okkk, so I want a little fuss over me... so sue me.... but after I come back from Washington, NY and London please.... cos I really hope to have fun in these cities.... God help me!

Love and its deconstruction

Growing up I was fed on fairy tales - the hapless princess who is rescued by a prince and they live happily ever after with their "going to grow up to be calvin klein model" babies... Ahh.... the world was such a perfect illusion growing up....

Now nearly having reach the mid 30s my concept of love is being forced to undergo a major deconstruction... so instead of just the hapless princess, we have two hapless overworked professionals who probably deep within want to feel like a prince and princess but end up feeling like the proverbial toad who is waiting to be kissed !! So off they go on their hunt for the perfect mate only to encounter myriad specimens, some of them so bewildering that the wannabe prince and princess recoil back into the safety of their professional life......at least in your professional life the worst that can happen is that your boss turns out to be a phycho but you dont have to take him back home with you..... infact the game of love is so rife with the prospect of failure that many would rather invest in a stable career....

What is happening to my generation? Are we over analyzing? Are we over sensitive? What happened to the simple formula of falling in love?

Is it time to start a new fairy tale series???

So I am sitting at BOB to do some work and the tag line of BOB screams - "Technology by your side"...

Just below that tag line is a handwritten sign which reads "No Paking" (assume it meant to say No Parking)... and as soon as I enter I see people screaming across in chaste hindi saying "printers are not working"... and then I made a simple request which was to give me a xerox of my cheque and the response was "Madam, it will take 10 mins - we have to go to another building to get a xerox"... I will wait I said.... when a reluctant old man came and took the cheque and as if in slow motion went to get my xerox (which I did get finally in 10 mins)... and while waiting I saw a fat little rat running around the wires as if trying to choose the best wire to chew on ..... lucky rat!....

and I thought to myself - there should be some regulation on advertising - they really can mislead people.....

okk my date for departure from Mumbai looms perilously close ...... and soon I will have to fuss over what goes where... not that I have too many possessions... I have all the basic electronics.... fridge, tv, ac etc... which I will hopefully be able to sell off... then there are the other not so material household stuff which I will keep with a friend.... then there is my car which I am tempted to sell.... I mean who will look after the car for 9 months???? Though all my friends are telling me to keep it....

I guess the only thing that I will carry with me are the memories of Mumbai.... and this time there are a lot of special and not so special ones.... but predominately special ones....

But as always life moves on to give you new memories....

I dont need to see any movies... the IPL saga is giving me all the twists and turns needed....

My 300th post!! Pat on the back to me....

This month is all about connecting with people - friends from the past, long lost friends, friends you wanted to be in touch with but could not etc.... when I slowly touch base with these friends I wonder whether I lost out on so many happy memories cos I was too proud to admit my shortcomings or mistakes....

I was having a discussion with some of my friends about women and their position in society.... ofcourse a favourite topic with me.... talk generally veered to motherhood and career after that...

while I said every woman wants the world to see her as an independent woman, every woman also wants to have a home of her own with children etc... well maybe not every woman but lets just say majority.... and that most women dont want to compromise on either but most often women do... either it is societal pressure or just a compromise that a woman makes so that she does not disrupt her family life....

and I said in my experience almost all the women who had got married and were with children had put their career on a back seat.... to ensure that their children get the attention... and they hope that someday they will get back into the saddle ... if there is place then for them at that time in the job world ..... and most of these women are smart go getters and it is tough decision for them to give up a career and watch their peers preen on ahead....

the consensus was that women can kiss their careers good bye after mrriage and children.... but I ask why??????????????????????

So I refused to give Christy any of the chocolates I had got from New York since he had put on weight.... he has become obsessed with chocolates and apparently he ate 20 toffees at one go!! but when I refused Christy cried and I really felt bad....

so to make up I decided to part with something I had bought for myself - a pink shiny pen - which shines even brighter if you hit it... I got it from Natural History Museum and was really proud of my possession....

So I gave it away to Christy who at first didnt want to talk to me and then saw the pen and warmed up to me.... haha... by the end of it he was so excited!! and all bitterness at being denied chocolates was forgotten....

the only variable we didnt factor in was a belligerent Baby George.... he took one look at the pen and decided that he should have it... and wailed and cried till we gave it to him out of pity for our ears.... and promptly Baby George pretended the shiny pen was a sword and started hitting the pen everywhere.... Poor Christy was just left looking at his pen shining brightly in his brother's hands....

All was worth it - cos Later in the day Christy called me to ask me whether I had got it from America - I said Yes and then he asked me how much I paid for it ...

My reply to him - it was Priceless for it got him to talk to me!

I sometimes wonder why people sometimes choose to talk about something or someone in front of you just to make you feel uncomfortable or to guage your reaction.

What do I do? Should I react or just leave it? And assume they meant only well? Or just pity them for being so jobless?