The topic of friendships seem to be occuping my thoughts these days.... recently a person I had not been in touch with for the past decade due to some misunderstanding or better understanding (one never knows) mentioned to another common friend that I had stopped talking to them!

and given all the angst that I have been facing with friendships lately it got me thinking about what does it take to preserve a relationship? When do you walk out of the relationship? What is the final straw that finally breaks your tolerance level and makes you want to get the person out of your life?

And finally, can a broken relationship be mended? Can you ever get back to what you had?

In my book, between friends if there is lack of respect or appreciation, then that is the last straw. And my threshold is quite high... so somebody has to demonstrate a lack of appreciation or respect consistently for me to break off....and lack of respect can be demonstrated in many ways - not making the time, not keeping in touch, not participating in the happy moments, not understanding what is important to your friend,not making the effort to be nice..... so if I am the one who is making all the effort to keep the friendship going then after sometime I switch off... so it comes as a surprise to me when people actually get surprised that I moved away - since they didnt think anything great about the effort I was making! or if I am constantly berated or pulled down then that is a sign that I should not associate with this person... I mean really what is the point if you really feel bad about yourself and your life when you are with this person....

Also these factors change with age... after a certain age you really do not want to make an effort.... you are too busy with your life and you just dont see the need to put up with rubbish...

can a relationship be mended? I have not been successful at that yet... maybe if the hurt is really minor and the person does make enough of an effort with me then probably....now I dont mean to say that I dont have fights with friends at all... I do... but even when I do my focus always remains on the larger picture....that this is a relationship that is worth investing in... and I expect that from the other person as well...so if both of you are mature then you are to move past that fight.... and if it doesnot happen then I really move on....

i really dont know... someone said that to have a good friend you need to be a good friend first....and that you are lucky if you have 2-3 good friends in your life....most of the people you consider friends fall by the wayside in the course of your meandering life.....

all I can say is - how true....