The Art of Being Happy

Well its finally here... this is my 200th post on this blog.... and its quite the optimum time given that it is the end of the year...



End of a year always make me introspect into what happened the whole year... I look back and wonder whether I did all I could and lived in the best way I could have.... and this year I think the overwhelming sense is Yes!.... I could not have done anything better... not to others, not to me or to my job.... I just did what was humanly possible....



and ofcourse as with everything in life there were some disappointments and unexpected turns that come along in life.... and you are never prepared for that no matter how much you have enacted the scene in your head and heart... and finally you just face it boldly and hope to god that "this too will pass".... but then I guess thats the story about everyone's life, isnt it?



Anyways I think this year has given me a lot of things to be grateful about.... I am grateful for the love that people have given me, grateful for the undivided attention, grateful for the friendships that have stood the test of time this year as well, grateful for the bond that I have with my nephews, grateful for the ability to work, grateful for the opportunities that I was given (even if I didnt take them), grateful for the opportunity to love and care for people, grateful for having the sense to retain my own sense of self..... grateful, grateful, grateful.....



and grateful for the lessons i have learned... one of which is the lesson that to love someone (now it could be anyone from your nephews, children, parents, boyfriend etc) is perhaps the most courageous thing a person can do in life.... it is more courageous than going into battle.... and I know that everyone has loved someone or the other at some point in time... so by that definition we are all courageous.....

My New Year Resolution

Not to lose my temper. With anyone. Period.

Baby George

Baby George knows who butters his bread....


My parents are in town .... Baby George at first looked at them suspiciously...... and refused to go to them until they were handing out chocolates .....

ofcourse my sister made the best of the situation.... as any new parent would do my sister dumped her kids on her parents and jazzed off for a wedding.... and my parents were left with the terror that is Christy and the jovial terror in the making Baby George....

and as expected Baby George had only thing in mind.... Food! and he soon realised that my parents were the only ones who could feed him in the absense of his mom ..... so the usually cold Baby George suddenly went and hugged his grandmother.... and when his grandmother fed him "dosa" he smiled very gratefully at his grandmother....

and then the next day morning he was back to keeping away from my parents... the kid sure is street smart....

my fashion consultant

Finally I have decided to take control of my wardrobe..... everybody who knows me knows also that I give very little importance to clothes and my outward appearances... if I could I would end up in any place with random mismatched clothes.... with my hair uncombed (cos I think the frizzy hair looks so cool), my very very basic chappals and just feeling happy in comfort clothes....

of late however I have decided that time has come for me to acknowledge my duty to look good in public.... after I am not bad looking, I have a fairly decent smile (some say it induces happiness in them - he he), ok my body needs a little bit of work but I will get there.... so over the weekend I did some shopping for clothes... I decided to go for clothes that I normally would not go for..... skirts, t-shirts, capris etc.... and I must say that the end result was not too bad.... okkkk when I say that it is not to say that everybody loved it.... it is just to say that I loved the new Me!!....i genuinely felt more comfortable, good, happy and just generally perky.....

Ofcourse not that I didnt seek anybody's opinion on my new set of clothes..... one of them being Christy..... he didnt like my skirt so much cos it had a zig zag design but opined that "you look little nice".....he loved my new hooded t-shirt and even said "you look thin!".... yayay.... after all Christy has no reason to hold back his criticism.... he knows his aunt is still going to be his aunt no matter what.... and so I have decided that Christy is going to be my number one fashion consultant....

Till then - heres to the new ME!!!!!

Soul Music

My friends tell me I am a dreamer..... I have recently started accepting this BIGGGGG revelation... infact I have now become aware of the fact that I dream everywhere..... while doing the security check at the airport (with the police woman saying "Madam, please stop dreaming and come inside") , while eating, while reading, while watching TV etc.....

Well now that this "flaw" has been discovered let me confess that most often when I am dreaming I am contemplating the meaning to life.... I think about issues, about how to solve a specific problem, how to react to a particular situation... its unintentional but in my view each second is then spent productively (ha!)...... not that my dreaming has solved any specific or major issue in the world .... but in my life itself sometimes I get epiphanies while I am dreaming that make my life a lot easier......

Ofcourse the reason for this post is not to exhibit my quirky side... it is to share with the readers One of my fav hindi lyrics which keep playing in my mind everytime I go into one of those dreaming session...It is a song from the movie Masoom- "Tujhe Naraz Nahi Zindagi, Hairan Hoon Main"..... and sometimes that is exactly what I feel.... life has so many twists and turns leaving you happy, sad, burned, rejected, dejected, elated etc etc at different points in time... and you wonder Who in the world is planning all these things for you in life ??? How did this situation ever arise? and everytime I face such situations I keep singing the above words... and in some silly way I find myself smiling.....

There are other lyrics that keep playing in my mind but I shall reserve that for a later post.... At the end of it all as justification for my dreaming I can only recite the lyrics of another famous song by John Lennon "You may say I am a dreamer, but I am not the only one".................

Senseless

I just dont understand some advertisement... there is a famous poultry brand which has the picture of a smiling chicken with an equally smiling pretty girl asking people to only choose "X" brand of chicken...

it just seems absurd that a chicken who is getting killed would smile and ask people to choose that brand.... the worse was when the bird flu hit India.... and advertisements all over showed smiling chickens saying "I am perfectly fine. Eat me!"

Ridiculous I tell you...

So I listen to Hindi music

So, I have flaws... surprise surprise! Yay! Yay! Yay! Bring out the champagne (and diet coke) .... there are too many to count as I have suddenly realised... I eat for no reason, I am ok with my kitchen being dirty for a while, I am ok with my cupboard being messy, I take pangas with taxi drivers, waiters and phone company officials and I generally dont have patience for many things....

Now before you get all preachy and moralistic on me (including teaching me a few things about running a house) I would like to remind each of you that my biggest source of strenth in the department of human flaws is Indian mythology. Mahabharta is full of stories of flawed people... each of the characters have a flaw or a weakness ...... for instance Yudishtar could not lie and hence that became his reason for being such a bad son/husband.... Karna was insecure about his parentage and hence became weak when faced with questions on that... and above all, the single most admired God Krishna's philosophy of the means justifying the end baffles me ... it is subject to so many interpretations..... everybody who doesnt have the justification for their actions would love to join the bandwagon of end justifying the means......

Reading about all these stories makes me believe that I am really not the only one in the world who is flawed... everybody is .... finally the only thing that matters is to "Be Happy"...... and yes I love listening to Hindi music.... so sue me...

My sister asked me to come to the movies with her.... to watch OSO (which by the way is a complete entertainer and a must watch if you want to destress)..... I readily agreed... afterall since Baby George my sister and I have not seen any movie together....

Only that my sister later told "actually I dont want you to come for the movie... just watch the baby while I am away"....

Hmm...... all I can say is that she is really lucky to have me as a sister in her life.....

In other news I got the entire Calvin and Hobbes collection as a belated b'day gift!!!!!!! Yayayayayayayayayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy....

Sorry people - this one is not for sharing with anyone.... infact coming to my house and touching it also will be highly regulated.... first washing your hands, then dipping it in detol, then using special tissue paper to wipe your hands.... frankly the process is too long for anyone to bother coming and trying to read it in my house.....

Instead you are always welcome to read the coffee table book on the buildings of Calcutta....

So many things to say

My mind is brimming with thoughts on many things.... despite my work load my thoughts sometimes meander into the realm of the "societal issues".... for instance child abuse, abandoned children, environment etc..... right now my mind is fresh from a discussion about who contributes more to society - Arts students or the Science students..... well this debate is endless..... often it is said that only those who are bad in maths will go into Arts.... and hence in some way inferior to those who can do maths...

my personal take on the subject is that my teacher in 1st standard hit me so hard while teaching me maths that since then i have a phobia against maths.... so I might have been the next Ramanujam of India but was sadly nipped in the bud by my 1st standard teacher.... well not that everybody is in the same category of a traumatised maths student.... some just like Arts better..... I personally like the Arts subjects more .... I love history and I love imagining what it was like in the era gone by.....

and now to the question of who contributes more to society.... as I gently pointed out in the discussion - the freedom struggle was led by lawyers - presumably just using their sense of justice, connection with people and vision for the country instead of any complicated maths formula.... I wonder whether we could have got freedom by the scientists working overtime to develop the best formula for throwing out the British.... ofcourse this is not to deride the contribution of the great scientists in developing our country ....

both are important in their own right and one cannot do without the other......

Baby George's B'day

Baby George turned 1 y'day... Yay!!!!! And there was a party thrown for him and his brother... ofcourse Baby George didnt know anything about his b'day and felt merry when he saw the balloons floating around.....

Now ofcourse life being a bitch didnt permit me to participate for the b'day party... so I met him today... woke him up from sleep and started singing "happy b'day" to him... he looked confused.... and quietly came and put him head on shoulder..... and my sister commented "maybe he is remembering things from his childhood" implying that he was recollecting the days I spent with him at the hospital.... but I thot Baby George was still in his childhood.....

Anyways I have not yet got him anything.... instead I have taught him the "merry dance"..... where I twirl Baby George around .... he completely loves it!!!! and falls down on the floor laughing.... welll what more do you need.....

In other news I heard Christy was wondering where Vava aunty and his remote control plane have disappeared.... damnnn now that means I have to find a remote control plane in Mumbai... any suggestions people???

Who am I?

No people this is not one of those existential questions? But sometimes I feel like asking myself that questions - basically the questions I am seeking to ask are as follows:

Who the hell am I to judge a man who comes and begs for money? Who the hell am I to cringe at his dirty hands and look away from his diseased feet?

Who the hell am I to degrade a prostitute? Do I even know her background? Do I even know how much her selling her body is providing sustenance to someone else?

Who the hell am I to look down on people who earn lower than me? Do I even consider whether they have had the same opportunities as me? Do I even consider whether if I was in their position whether i would have even reached their state?

Who the hell am I to judge other women? to look at them being subversive to their husbands or just putting themselves last? Do I even consider that they might be happy doing that? Do I even consider whether life for them is as they wanted it?

Who the hell am I to judge an uneducated man/woman? Do I even consider that they are smarter than me? Do I consider that they might havenot got the opportunity?

I mean who the hell am I ???

And also if you are doing all of this - who the hell are you??

Quite a fruity fight

Today morning Baby George and I had our first fight - over a guava!!!! ....

classic case of greed if you ask me(by Baby George) .... Now this what happened.... Baby George's mom was washing his guava and I was peacefully eating mine.... when all of a sudden an innocent looking Baby George walks upto me and being playful by nature I gave him my guava to hold till he got his.... needless to say Baby George refused to give back my guava and yanked it away from my hand like a person possessed..... and this continued till his mom gave him his guava.... his only restriction was that his hands were too tiny to hold both guavas.... so finally like a lost kitten he looked at the guava coming back to me, reconciled himself to holding one guava and grunted away to gastronomic delight.....

In other news it was Christy's b'day y'day.... I called him and sang the b'day song....and ofcourse added "you were born in the zoo"..... heheh... and when I asked him whether he was born in the zoo - he said Yes!... when asked what he wants he promptly said a "Racing Car!" .... and when I said "Oh I was going to get you a remote control plane"... he promptly said " A plane"....

Fickle minded nephews I tell you......

Baby George grunts

Baby George recently got a toy - a pink piglet who walks, shakes its twisted tail and grunts (oink!)...... ofcourse I presented it to both the brothers.... Christy promptly bought out his heaviest car and put it on top of the piglet to see if the weight could be carried ..... Baby George in the meantime was watching from a distance.... until I turned the piglet towards him....... the piglet walked, shook its tail and grunted its way to Baby George.... only that Baby George immediately ducked behind his aunt in fear of the walking and grunting piglet!!!

Well.... seems like Baby George picked up a few points from the piglet... on one of my outings my sister and I ordered icecream..... only to hear very very loud grunts..... we looked around for a pink piglet... only to find that the grunts came from Baby George.... he was grunting for the icecream and refused to keep quiet till we gave him some......

Well some toys teach the wrong things I suppose......

A Sail, Life boat and philosphy

Today I decided to change the landscape of my desk a bit..... Now hanging from my really tiny desk is a picture of a sail boat with the caption "It is not fate that decides where life is going, its all about how you take life and where you take it".... this was donated generously by a friend who believed that I should have a picture of a sail boat on my desk to symbolise that I was going places.... The irony is that for a long time I have not gone to any place other than within my office.....



My desk also underwent a minor change when a junior of mine in the wee hours of the morning drew three elephants on my desk - a papa elephant, a mama elephant and a baby elephant.... it is really adorable if you ask me..... and the papa elephant looks a little drunk and has quite a tilt in his gait......



I am not too much into decorating my desk with paraphernalia from my life... no you wont find baby pictures, my family pictures or even my pictures on my desk.... at the same time i see people whose desks are sooooo well decorated .... pictures of their trip from turkey, a glass given by a "friend", inexplicable flowers that land on their desk etc etc..... sometimes in the middle of the night when there is no one around I go and stare at these pleasant things just to get my mind off the thing that I am supposed to be doing.....

Each time I wish I could be a little more like them ... to have a colourful, fun filled desk.... where things are so lively..... the last time I had something anything lively on my desk was a talking cactus who would shake when you clapped and sing "I am a Cactus, I am a Cactus".... it was really cute and I nicknamed him Carlos.... all went fine until Carlos met Christy.... Poor poor Carlos...he just didnt stand a chance with Christy...... I still weep for him..... I still have not found a replacement for Carlos... If I were ever to decorate a kids room, the room would have clouds..... and a lot of fairies, a lot of colour, a lot of cartoon figures (actually in my own room I would like to have a wall full of Calvin and Hobbes)..... and perhaps a small slide..... where the kids can play when they are all alone..... hehehehe....

If I were not a shark....

In the morning today I had an innocent enough conversation with a friend which brought back some happy memories of my childhood....

now all those who know will also know that I once harboured ambitions of joining politics... just like my dad.... and to this day I believe I will be really good at it.... maybe not the dirtly stab your back politics... but generally talking to people, connecting with the old and young, rich and poor etc.... and I genuinely believe I can predict the mood of the general people..... well ofcourse none of this has been tested and so all that I think about myself may actually come crashing down...

anyways back to the conversation.... I talked about how I will travel across India, wave to people, give inspiring speeches (ofcourse in Shudh Hindi), the locals would feed me ..... Ahh.....

Ofcourse that was until I heard my friend saying "hello...Come back to earth".....

But why should I come back to earth???? I want to dream.....

And they say they abolished slavey in the last century

I am totally convinced that my profession, while being glamorous is actually nothing more than a variant of slavery....... As a lawyer you are constantly called in to transactions which will just craash into smithereens if the lawyer doesnt dance like a plucked chicken who has been put into hot water.... and no matter how much of effort you have put in you will still be called in for an execution - that of yourself....

Sometimes I feel it is all a lost cause..... and as my favourite from "Hotel California" said "We are all prisoners here of our own device".....

October 2 came and went..... and I didnt even feel like it was my b'day... I was sitting in a large five star hotel trying desperately to connect to the net so that I could send out my documents and return back to the main purpose of my visit to the five star (a conference)... .. it was absolutely the most pointless b'day I had had....

anyways all was not bad.... I decided that I would treat myself to a south indian b'fast and ate 3 dosas!!!! with the proper accompaniment of sambhar and 3 different types of chutney .... It was lip smacking good! After my third dosa the waiter came and cheekily asked me whether I would like one more and I said "I wish!".... but after that it was back to work and I returned home and crashed out....

Anyways the other goods news is that after my incessant shouts of "attention", Baby George finally said "Atc..sion"... he repeated this three times!!!! I am so proud of my nephew....

Things that are important to me

You grow up in a society which notifies you early on in life about the things that are important.... the things that you MUST have to have a complete life... they include education (absolute necessity), house, car, enough money, spouse, children.... and sometimes in the quest for those very things we forget why it is you need these things... we all just go about it in a perfunctionary manner - something we just have to do .... but I think it is important to recognise the few fundamentals that you live by so that you realise how lucky you are or how unlucky you are....

Things that are important to me are:

a. My own identity - I dont believe anybody can take away your identity without you yourself wanting to lose it.... but still there may be situations when you might be forced to give up things that are important to you in order to adjust/compromise with someone you love. I just hope I dont have to give up my identity for any reason.

b. Ability to go out alone - this is absolutely critical for me I think... I dont think many people would enjoy the same things I do and somehow I feel obliged to entertain them while doing things I like doing... something like shopping, or even sitting at a coffee shop.... or even going on my crazy photo tours.... I just like the fact that in mumbai I can go alone to all these places... many people would judge me for being alone... but thats the way I want it

c. Ability to help people important to me - Its important for me that I am able to be there for my loved ones... and there are few of them in my life that I absolutely treasure and I hope I am able to be there for them as much as I want to

d. Being with trustworthy people - I am by nature very naive... though I have learned from my mistakes that not all people who come into your life wish the best for you I have steadfastly hung on to the belief that most people are trustworthy.... and the sad reality is not many people are.... and now even more than anything I hang on to the people who I trust the most ...

e. Its important to be true to yourself... even if you behave as if you are the queen with others... you must be true to your self... yes I screwed up in the past and now I am making amends for it... it actually lessens your stress.....

f. Its important to realise that you are quite dispensable .... no matter what the situation everybody moves on in life.....

g. Its important to get hugs from children once in a while.... they are innocent and when they hug you that means they love you.... and It is important to feel that once in a while ...

h. I think it is important to love with all your heart ........ whatever it is you love - your job, your partner, your siblings, your books, your alone time......

i. Finally it is important to realise that there is always someone better than you and someone worse than you... it is important to realise that someone somewhere is always going to be better than you and someone somewhere is going to be worse than you... it is important not to get overwhelmed by both....

I dont know whether I will practise any of the above... but it is always good to have a list of important things in life.....

Fly Off

I want to fly off again - and this time my wish list inlcudes the following:

a) Varanasi or Benares- Now everybody talks about these places as if it is Gods own land... I guess in a way it is what with all the sadhus running around the place..

b) Srinagar - mainly cos it is a dangerous place and I am in a dare mood

c) Madurai - cos of the temple architecture

Finally I dont think I will go anywhere - anytime I get free I shall spend a day with my sister and nephews... they deserve that..... but a wish list is always fun...

When Baby George became Hulk Hogan

Baby George gets angry. Very Angry. When I squeeze his "Achacha" in front of him......

Ok.. this is what happened..... I was as usual making merry with Christy.... and in the process held him tight and squeezed him ... now I didnt notice that Baby George was in a corner watching all our moves closely..... and then suddenly I see a puffed up, angry Baby George with his fists clenched and face totally wrinkled up in anger standing in front of me...and grunted and scowled at me with no mercy.... like Hulk Hogan - a tiny little one, ofcourse.... and saved his "Achacha" by falling on top of me....

It was totally adorable.... and nice to see such love between siblings.... touch wood....

Things I Hate.. sorry Dislike

There are many things I hate.. for instance I hate not having had a Saturday to spend with Baby George and Christy, I hate that my sister and me cant go for movies anymore now cos of Baby George, hate that I cant just speak up many times about something that I feel strongly about, hate that I am really scared of being hurt by the people closest to me, hate that I am sometimes unable to keep the promises I made to myself etc etc... but today it is about things I hate in others.... actually hate is too strong a word so I will use the term dislike....so here goes....

I DISLIKE:

a. people who lie - especially the ones who lie without any reason.

b. people who dont make efforts to sustain a relationship

c. people who emotionally blackmail

d. people who are condescending - mainly a sign of inferiority but still hate that

e. people who flash their money as an achievement

f. people who cling on to their better halves

g. people who pretend to know it all

h. people who are not natural and put up a show

i. people who ignore their better halves at parties

j. people who compare their better halves with others

k. people who dont bother with their parents

l. unncessarily accented people

m. men who hit women

n. women who refuse to be independent

o. couples who ignore others

Oh Calcutta!

I was in Calcutta over the weekend.... I have had a decade long romance with this city... and I have never been to that city till now..... and I finally managed to see some parts of the city....

I am fascinated by Bengal ... from the time I learned about our freedom struggle I have always wanted to go to Bengal and see where it all started... and then I met the Calcutta people in Law School and got even more fascinated by Cal... the city seemed to develop a loyalty amongst its inhabitants.... everybody always wanted to go back to Cal.... there has to be something about that city....

I find Bengal very interesting - their obsession with language (which is sometimes annoying), their literary achievements, their passion for food..... something that I totally gel with... and by coincidence or design most of the people in my life are bengalis or someone associated with Cal.....

I went for a whirlwind tour of the city - first to the 2nd hoogly bridge, then to the Howrah Bridge, Victoria Memorial and then St. Pauls Cathedral..... and my pictures prove that... and you know you have reached Bengal when you hear the rounded words ... I knew I had when the driver told me "Your lOggage is in the BHack"

Watch Out! Walking Baby on the prowl

Baby George has started walking.... yes at 9 months he took his first baby steps..... and he was so excited about it the first few times that he would turn around, look at his mom, giggle in excitment, promptly lose his balance and fall down on his bum... well those are days of the past now.... now Baby George is the king of the living room.... and prowls the length and breadth of the living room in search of food.... so no matter where you are eating you will soon find an eager, drooling and aggressive I must add Baby George at your feet asking you to give him food...

Baby George has also learnt to play with adults... he soon realised that my hand bag is my most precious possession..... so in one of my "zoned out" moments, Baby George picked out the camera cover, started walking as fast as his 10 month old legs could with the sole aim of taking my camera cover away from me.... and he would merrily look back to see if I was following him... and giggle through out till I caught him..... and followed up the exercise by taking my hair brush, lip stick etc etc...

Baby George's first words were "Tata" and "Achacha"..... I will explain... Tata, cos he wants to go out everytime anyone else does.... and Achacha (means elder brother) signifying his admiration for Christy who is his hero in life....

Ah... the ways of Baby George are strange... in the meantime, please keep your food and hand bag safe from the walking baby on the prowl.....

Goa over the weekend

It was Goa over this weekend.... but I got to see very little of the place... was extremely busy through the day....

But this post is not about that.....this post is about the few things I discovered ....

I discovered that while you might want to forget the past, when you meet people from the past they will always remember you for your past... not your present.... and you do the same for other people... and no matter how much better you are doing in life or how much happier you are doing in life your past is what defines you with some people...

I realised that in life it is very rare to find people you look upto..... I suppose in a way I was clueless about what I wanted to do simply because I had no one to look upto.... and once you find that you will always have that in your life no matter where you go....

I realised that more people get, the more people will want..... we just have to strive to be better.... even better than ourselves.....

I realised that I can indeed stay up late two days in a row!

I realised that going out dancing and drinking with my 20 something colleagues is enjoyable!!!!

Most of all I realised that nobody is perfect - including the ones I look upto.....

Public Speaking and Me

When I was a child I used to get petrified if someone asked me to speak in front of a crowd.... you know the usual mess would start in your brain - am I looking too fat? is my dress too short? Is my face really oily? Am I appearing like the biggest idiot on earth?

All sane questions in an insane moment... over time I conquered that fear and gradually became very comfortable with public speaking... I could go on stage and try and engage with the crowd... so much so that I thought I was the next Indira Gandhi.... waving to the crowds and throwing flowers... I still maintain I will be good at that...

Ofcourse that is all when I am totally prepared for such a public speaking requirement..... I can practice, I can perform, I can engage... and not when I am called imprompto on stage... that is when I shrivel up once again... I cant speak.... and when compared to all the witty speakers I end up looking like a bumbling fool....

Anyway the point of it all is that recently I was called to speak in front of a crowd of about 100.... and i am still reeling from the bad performance there.... I ended the day screaming to myself - WHY COULDNT I HAVE NOT SHUT UP????

Spartan

I wish I was spartan.... you know the type who uses words sparingly to describe a feeling.... yet those words are packed with a punch that delivers the message right on the nose.......... now I am not exactly that creative to think about spartan, witty, pack-a-punch word..... But there are some words that I use to describe how or what I want to convey...

The first set of words that I use regularly are the words "Not Yet".... so when anyone asks me "are you getting married?" I reply Not Yet!.... "are you going on a world tour?" Not Yet Mate.... "are you going to buy that 15 crore pent house?" Once again Not Yet... I learned these words from a girl who was sitting next to me on my flight to New York from London.... for some strange reason she started talking to be at the fag end of the flight... and since I am mostly whoosy when the flight lands I was holding on to my seat when she asked me "Are you married?" ... and I answered "No".... and she replied saying "Not yet, you mean".... and I looked at her and said "Yeah. Not Yet." There is such a postive ring to the words "Not Yet"...something that tells you that maybe it has not happened yet but will soon happen or will happen sometime when you want it to.... I just love the feel of these words.....

The other powerful phrase I have used is "This too will pass".... a reminder that no matter what times you are going through, good or bad, it will pass..... it also keeps you grounded in that you are reminded not to get too proud of your good fortune because in a second all of that can be snatched away... and when it happens you can remember that "This too will pass"... what a wonderful phrase.... and to all the hard working money minded lawyers (that includes me) who plug away on their computer on Sunday these words are a good relaxant - "This too will pass"... ofcourse you know you are fooling yourself since the work load will never die but for the moment you can visualise the light at the end of the tunnel...

And yes you can judge me all you want for me relying on simple words to get through life.... but whatever it takes to take the load off....

All in the Family

Family matters.... and guess how I know it ? Cos I realised that I am no different from my mom and dad when it comes to small small things....

For instance I went for a short weekend break to Kochi where I met up with my parents.... and I was excitedly carrying around my camera and clicking away.... and in what I thought would be a life changing revelation I told my mom that I think I will pursue photography seriously.... quite contrary to my expectation my mom replied " yeah even I had such lofty ambitions. You remember your childhood pictures? They were all taken by me. I gave it up because in India photography was too expensive"... Now that was a life changing revelation to me.... I am just like my mom in this respect.... my baby pictures are truly the best pictures I have seen of myself... I look like an adorable, cute little baby smiling and laughing always... and now I know it has to do with my moms photography skills rather than me being photogenic.....

and I am observing the same thing in the new generation.... Christy has a creative bent of mind.... while he may wreck many many things he has a pretty good sense of colours..... he once gave me a painted cup which was actually so beautiful that I wanted to keep it.... and he regularly draws cars, gardens, people etc... and recently he even won a painting contest.....

Ofcourse Baby George is yet to develop his skills... but one skill that he has inherited from the family is the love for food!... If Baby George could walk he would have been the first one to run towards the food counter.. unfortunately he has to rely on adults who dont go as fast as he wants and he is left with no option but to kick his legs in the air to show his extreme disappointment at not been fed..... and once the food is given to him, he doesnot even tolerate a one sec break of your hand going back from his mouth to the plate to gather food again.....

And here I was thinking I am so different from my family... I am not... I am just a more recent version of them....

India at 60

Ofcourse Independence day came and went...and like most Indians I slept through the "midnight hour" and woke up to watch our erudite PM wax eloquent about the plans he has for our country.... now my friends always consider me to be extra patriotic and little over the top with the India stuff... and while I believe I am much less of that now I have few things that make me really proud of my country... and I know many wont agree with this... but heck! we are a nation of 1 billion people.... so here goes my list of things I am proud of India at 60

a) I am proud of the country's educational system - yessss I know it lacks a lot of child specific development oriented courses blah blah blah but I think for a developing country to achieve so much in terms of just education is a marvel.... I see Africans and Arabs coming and studying in India... and I geniunely believe Indian education system equips an Indian to go out and face the world with confidence...

b) I am proud of the fact that India has one of the strongest IT industry in the world...

c) I am proud of the fact that in the last 15 years our country has progressed so much economically... Indian are just more prosperous and raring to go....

d) I am proud of the leaders that India has produced... especially people like Nehru, Sardar Patel (his RSS leanings notwithstanding), Ambedkar, Sarojini Naidu, Indira Gandhi (albeit minus her evil doings).... I am especially proud of Nehru's emphasis on self reliance as the theme for India .... and I truly believe that it is the foundation of industrialisation coupled with the education system that has enabled Indians to make a mark for themselves...

e) I am proud of our beaurocrats... Before you jump please let me explain... one of the courses I did at LSE was the difference between Indian economic development and the south east asian countries....and one of the fundamental reasons why India didnt crash like they did was because we had a very well educated, aware and intelligent set of people sitting at the helm of affairs in Delhi.... we developed but at our own pace..... if not for them we would have become another failed story

f) I am proud of my democracy.... I take it for granted.... I love it that we can make it work despite our population and our differences...

g) I am proud of press in India.... they may have their bad points but they are there to check governments and the evil in society...

h) I am proud of the diversity in my country... I love the fact that there are so many people to meet, so many different cuisines, so many different dress styles, so many different places to go to...

Even as I write this I am aware of the various things that are wrong in my country.... but somebody needs to remember that surviving as a democracy is in itself an achievement.... lets remember that for one day at least....

Kerala over a weekend

I will support you

I know it is really rare and it is priceless when it happens but one of things that make life worth living is when someone says the words "I will support you".... now it can be ranging from emotional support to financial support..... whatever be the instance these words act like a balm ..... soothing all the emotional pain that you are going through.... and I think I vouch for every person when I say - there is nothing more calming in the world than hearing the words "I am here for you" or "I support you".......... I just wish everybody would hear it more often...

I guess that is why God brings us into this world with two support systems... your parents.... and then S/He adds on the siblings so that they can support you in addition to your parents....

Dont know why I thought of this but I just felt like sharing this thought... and for those who have supported me and who will support please know I really appreciate it...

Fine Tissues

I have bought these really realllyyyy realllyyyyy expensive tissue paper..... and I really didnt intend to buy it.... it was one of those situations where I liked to cover of the tissue box, picked it up, went to the check out counter, popped my eyes when they told me that the price was above Rs. 100, quietly paid and then walked out of the shop mulling my fate....

Now this box sits pretty on top of my fridge.... for the longest time I didnt feel like opening it...... I needed a reason to open it up... so there it sat - all pretty and nice.... and finally when I opened it up and took one really expensive tissue paper I felt like laying it on my bed and asking it to relax - it was soo fine, soft, perfumed.... it just didnt deserve to be used for wiping my face or anything else...

So that is the status right now... The tissue box is as it is... and I wipe my face on the towel now....

Christy's Philosophy

Christy is at a stage where he is asking about life and death... so recently he asked my sister some really pertinent questions..... which went like this...

Christy: "So you die when you are old?"

Sister: "Yes. When people become old, they die."

Christy: "So I wont die now cos I am not old?"

Sister: "Yes. You wont die now"

Christy: "So that means, because I am young, I wont die even if I jump from the building?"

Well.... what do you say to a kid who thinks like this......

Ofcourse his brother is completely engrossed in growing up... he has started standing up with a little bit of help.... and he loves every minute of standing up... and his aunt loves it to... so now I go meet him and start commanding "Attention" (while simultaneously holding down his hands in attention position) and "At Ease" (while simultaneously crossing his hands at the back)... and Baby George laughs at his aunts antics..... between you and me I love Baby George's smile the best... his smile is so welcoming... so warm... so genuine... he is smiling cos he is really happy to see you..... I just love it when he smiles when he sees me....

Defending Law School

There are few things I am proud of in my life.. one of them is my education... particularly my law school education...

despite such pride for the first few years after law school I would downplay law school a lot... "yeah, its overhyped", "the profs are all very bad"... etc etc.... things however changed when I went to LSE.... at one of my visits to a pub with a group of lawyers, one Indian lawyer came up to me and made general conversation... all went fine till I told him that I am from law school.... it was if the air had sucked out all humanity out of him.... he was practically screaching.... "I know you law school types.. who think they are better than us... you guys are nothing special... you dont even know the law"..... while earlier I would just keep quiet and not react but this time I just could not fathom the fact that I was away from my country, in a cosmopolitan city, in the most international city in the world, and I have to hear some insecure nasty lawyer talk ill about my law school???... No Way!... I just could not take it... I just turned to him and said "Sour Grapes".... ofcourse he flared up even more....

and recently I met someone at a party where yet again this conversation surfaced again.... the person was like "I have met some of you law schoolites...some are in my law firm as well... I frankly dont know what is so special about you guys.... I am not even sure you know how to practice law"..... I looked up from my plate and told the person 'Well, what is special about us law schoolites is that all the partners in all the top law firms are law schoolites. I guess there must be something about us ".......... he ofcourse went on the defensive and went on and on about how law schoolites are brilliant etc..........

I am not one for flaunting anything in my life... but I do not like anybody putting down anything in my life either.... I am extremely proud of my life and if anybody thinks I should not be then so be it.... but please help yourself out of my life then...... I wont mind one bit....

Where do you work?

You know you are a lawyer when:

a) "Leaving early" means leaving at 10 p.m;

b) when the highlight of the day is deciding what to order from the nearest eating joint. Should it be the tandoori chicken with dal or the roast chicken with diet pepsi. Yay!

c) When you notice the flickering light bulb in your office before you notice the non functioning fridge in your house;

d) When your parents start praying for your soul;

e) When you are excitedly told "Please take Sunday off!";

f) When you start correcting spelling mistakes of a menu card at a restaurant;

g) When you hear foreign investment in your sleep and you wake up screaming "FIPB and RBI approvals needed!!!";

h) When you reply to your cousins email saying "This is in response to your mail dated ..." and only stopping when you are reminded about how dorky you might appear to your cousins;

You gotta to love it!

Next round - Being Consultants

Rat Race

Sometimes I feel it is so easy to be swelled up by the great race called the rat race... where everybody is running towards the finish line so that they can get the best acclaim in life - to be called the BEST RAT by the rest of the rats!....

Now mind you I am also in the rat race... I am not for one sitting on the sidelines and claiming to be a creature other than a rat.... I am one and will continue to be so till my EMI does not dictate my work life balance...

But what I dont like is the rat race coming into my personal life.... everybody judges - including me - but I hate the fact that the judgment is so easily passed .... recently a family friend visited me in Mumbai and asked me "Do you have your own house?" Nope. "Do you have your own car?" Nope. "Do you have a cook?" Nope. Next thing I knew she had gone around telling everyone in Kerala how poor(!!) I am.

While it made me laugh I began to wonder - will I ever be considered rich without having a car, a flat and a cook? Will I ever be considered as successful without achieving titles? Will I ever be considered happy without showing the ingredients of the happiness?

Being Cheerful

Today somebody commented about how I am always cheerful.

And that made me lose all my cheer. There is something very ominous about a very cheerful person - either they are brimming with some evil deep inside - like all serial killers or they will completely loose it at a very young age of 40 - like one of those endangered communities where all the folks turn senile.

Ofcourse I think the person was completely wrong. I am not always cheerful. I sulk early morning. I hate bad service and shout at my telephone company pretty often. I also shout my fridge when there is no food for a late night. And most recently I shout at the imaginary enemy hiding in my DVD player who ensures that when I want to watch a movie the DVD player goes bust.

So there I have my demons.

Why are lawyers miserable?

An interesting article in a foreing magazine on why lawyers are miserable. While I think being a lawyer is fantastic I do realise that to an outsider it must look like a suicidal job. But this article was really funny.

____________________________________________________
The juxtaposition of two stories in The Times last week - one reporting that top-flght City lawyers were charging as much as £1,000 fln hour for their expertise, another that a quarter of
lawyers wanted to leave their profession - raised a pertinent question: just why are those in the
legal business so miserable?

The Law Society has recently been trying to provide an answer ,but its "quality of life" review, aking the form of workshops, debates and online surveys,has been dragging on inconclusively like a complex fraud case and also seems to have missed some vital evidence from across the pond. You see, as with everything else, America has been doing lawyer dissatisfaction bigger and
bet~~r than us for decades. Polls have at various times established that not just a quarter, but up to 40 per cent of US lawyers want to leave their profession; and whereas British lawyers are only just waking up to the fact they are miserable and want to die, their American counterparts
have been alert to it since 1989,which saw the publication of J. Qeborll Anon's Running From
he. LawrWhy Good Lawyers are, Getting Out òf the Legal Profession. Indeed, there are now almost more books, articles and websites dedicated to the subject of legal despair than there are American lawyers. Which is saying something, given that the USA has more lawyers than people. And last week, to help the Law Society get to the point, I spent two bleak days siftng through the lierature, a process that made it clear City lawyers are unhappy because of:
1. the dehumanising hours.
Remember that bit in The Firm where Tom Cruise's character is told that if he even thinks of a
client in the shower, he should bil it?
Not only can one imagine this actually happening now - lawyers generallý charge on the basis of
bilable hours, and annual targets can: be brutal - but the shower might even be taken in the offce.
Many City firms offer beds and washrooms in offces to enable staff to work .loIlg!!~
While those entering the profession may be prepared for this- an excessive workload is seen as '
a rite of passage - many don't seem to realise that their reward for sellng the best year of their lives is simply the' privilege of being

a:Iowed to sell the rest of their lives in the capacity of partner.Which, of course, negates the
only advantage of being a lawyer:the cash: Leaving aside the question of whether money can
make you happy, it is prett obviousit won't if you have no time to spend it .
2. the yawning gap between their intellgence and the mind-numbing nature of their work. The word "lawyer" may trigger images of attractive people making clever arguments in wood-panelled courtrooms, but most spend the majority of their time in back offces draftng and redrafing small print that almost no one will read. At least if you flpped burgers
for a living you'd have the satisfaction of giving people momentary pleasure.
3. the yawning gap between the ideals of those entering theprofession and the reality. Some
go into law because they dream of fighting injustice, but discover on entering that most of what lawyers do benefits big business.
Others enter the profession because they are seduced by the apparent glamour of the trade, as
portrayed in Ally McBeal and LA -Law, only to find that the work is about as glamorous as getting a verruca (cf point 2). Then there are those graduates - as much as 47 per cent of" the profession, according to a recent survey - who drift into the job because thty don't
know what else to do, assuming vaguely that it might be fun, and find on entering that it is about,is amusing as breaking a limb in a traffc accident (cf point 1). '.
Repeatedly. For 90 hours a week.

4. the cumulatively lowering nature of the work. We all end up being shaped by our careers. ,
Journalists become rude,incorrgible gossips. Police offcers start believing what they read in
the Daily Mail. Lawyers, meanwhile, become competitive, aggressive, judgmental, analytical, ..
adversarial, emotionally detached, paranoid of being sued and, worst of all, pessimistic. Being a good lawyer involves assuming that people wil do the most awfl things and that treachery is to be expected. It's inevitable that this negativity eventually seeps into their personal lives.
5. the vortex of hatred that envelops them entirely. I'm not only referring here to those
surveys that put lawyers among poliicians and journalists as the least popular of professionals.
I'm also referrng to the fact that lawyers despise each other (cf point 4), despise themselves
(cf points I, 2, 3,4), are despised by their clients (for charging too much, not always winning
cases) and, in return; despise their clients back.

Handling others people's' problems, unless you are Mother Theresa or Esther Rantze,n,
-eventually becomes tedious, especially when most of those problems relate to money.
6. the self-inflcted nature of their suffering. Because of the way City firms work, most senior
. lawyers, as well as having to spend too long doing too much dull work, are under intense
pressure to attract new business. When dissatisfaction kicks in, it's implified by the fact that the work' making them unhappy is self-imposed. It's like waking up to find someone drillng a hole
into your head, only to realise the sadist wielding the Black 'n' Decker ' is actually you.
Looking back over this list, I realise little of it is going to elicit much sympathy. Somehow, I can't
see the Red Cross diverting resources away from Darfur to come to the rescue of professionals earning £1,000 an hour.
But humaú"misery isn't relative, and I can't help thinking these problems could be solved. All City firms need to do is take a moment or take a gooolook at themselves. But that must ( be
diffcult when time is (so much) money.

Favourite Songs

I used to always be scared of telling me people my kind of music... yes, for fear of being judged as a person with "no taste" or for having "plebian taste"... so most often I would pretend to like some arty music, where I would be waiting for the music to start and looking around I would realise that the music has already started ... infact I am 20 minutes late in realising it... so I have decided that I shall stop pretending and just claim some music as mine - I like it and that is all that matters!!!! So booo! to all you judgmental people....

So here is the list of my all time favourite songs:

1) Layla by Eric Clapton - I love this song cos it is so sexy. Pity I am not called Layla. Or can I change my name for one song?

2) Come Undone by Duran Duran - This song sort of puts me in a mood to enjoy a quiet evening... ah...

3) Black Magic Woman by Santana - Period.

4) Horse with no name by America - Very different. Very catchy

5) Come as you are by Nirvana - Awesome. Period.

6) Aisha by Khalid - Once again, can I change my name for one song?

7) Have you ever loved a woman by Bryan Adams? - Yes, have you?

8) Hazard by Richard Marz - Special cos it was my room mate, Anna, who introduced me to this song and with extreme patience explained the whole meaning of the song. Have to say, everytime I listen to that song, I feel I am back in my hostel room in law school squatting on Anna's bed. Sorry Anna for all the squatting but thanks for this song.

9) White Flag by Dido - Just love her voice

10) I feel good by James Brown (I think!) - Yes, I do feel good most often.

11) Girl by Beatles - Yes, I wish I was that girl they were singing about.

12) La Isla Bonita by Madonna - I can actually sing this song!

13) Jesus to a Child by George Michael - I am just mesmerised by this song

14) My All by Mariah Carey - I cant get enough of this

15) Spin the Wheel by George Michael - Ok, besides being gorgeous Georgy can make a girl rock

16) Maria by Santana - Dont you just feel sexy? Even if you are not a maria?

17) Englishman in NewYork by Sting - just sheer brilliance!

18) Rent by Pet Shop Boys - My fav oldie !

19 ) La Luna by Belinda Carlie ( excuse the spelling) - Just dance!

20) Sing by Travis - it encourages me to sing!

Thats just the twenty that comes to my mind. More later.

Loved this picture - Had to share it.

This is Nehru Place from the 11th floor.... who would have imagined that there would be so much fo green in the heart of mumbai...

I always find it difficult to assess whether people like me or not... actually I dont trust my assessment... so while I might have gone around thinking everything is perfect in my equation the other person had a totally different take on it.... so I am really reluctant to readily accept any evaluation of people liking me.....

and more so with kids.... I am just not sure whether they like me or not ... Christy baffles me sometimes.... he sometimes calls me up to say that he misses me.... but the next time he sees me he starts hitting and biting me .... and I come away feeling completely confused.... and now it is the turn of Baby George.... given the fact that I was the first person in the world to hold him my mom feels that I will always share a special bond with him.... I disbelieve that... firstly cos I generally dont consider myself to be great with kids (although my friends say that I am great with them) and secondly he is a baby!! how much does he know about the nurse who held him and me .... and recently when I was showing one of those home videos of Baby George and me my friend immediately quipped "he likes you so much"... what??? no way.. he is just playing .... ...

and today when I went to my sister's place, my sister tells me that Baby George heard my voice from the other room, listened for a while and then smiled... my sister was completely shocked.... and after a while of playing, Baby George refused to go to sleep ... and when he did he kept raising his head to see whether I was around.... and ofcourse the standard routine of following me around the house continued today as well....... and me being me I stood in differents parts of the room just to see whether he would actually come to me... and he did!!

After all this I came away thinking - Does Baby George really like me that much??? Nah... he is probably bored of routine ....

Yet another rainy morning when Alice stepped out with her camera to capture Mumbai... Was really fascinated by the remnants of a fort in Bandra and which still had portugese writing on it!!! Ofcourse the words "AMIDON99" just below it adds no value to it and only enhances the feeling of dilapidation... the fort has an amphitheatre where concerts can be held but is in such a bad shape that you will spot only canoodling couples there... this despite a board saying clearing "No anti social activities"...

The last picture happened by mistake when the winds brought the umbrella in front of the camera... but net effect I liked....

Time to change this blog?

Talking about change I am slowly beginning to consider closing this blog down and shifting to an anonymous blogger mode... While I excitedly sent out my blog details to all and sundry when I created it I now feel I should have just kept my mouth shut about it. Like a friend immediately wrote back "I am glad to see you are willing to share your feelings in public". That should have been my cue.

Nowadays I am extremely concious about the fact that somebody reading this may be someone who is not my friend. Maybe a misplaced fear but one that is there nevertheless. And there are also so many things I am not able to discuss on this blog cos there are some things that are just private.

Hmmm......

Of late I have been thinking about changes that happen in one's life..... as a child you are never prepared to face changes .... as an adult sometimes you keep hoping for a change in your life... most often one is never prepared for that change - good or bad... sometimes the long awaited change comes at a time when you really dont expect it anymore despite longing for it....

Personally there have been many changes in my life ... looking back, however painful it might have been at that time, I dont think I would have wanted life any other way.... for instance the biggest change in my life was the shift from Oman to Kerala... while I love India blah blah blah, for me the shift was a complete nightmare...

I found it extremely difficult to adjust to a life in Kerala..... found it difficult that I could not cycle around (lest people start talking about you), found it difficult that there was no place where one could go and play bad minton or just play carroms, found it difficult to understand the new people I was getting to know, found it difficult to understand why money was all of a sudden of paramount importance in one's life, found it difficult to understand why I was not taken to school in a school bus (my school didnt provide me that service)..... I just found it difficult. Period.

Over time I gradully adjusted to India and finally found my place only in law school... I am now as comfortable in India as Baby George is in his swing cot..... I love the pace, the chaos, challenges.........

The other big change in my life was ofcourse law school... it was a wonderful change that was due for a long time.... and quite honestly after Kerala it was like I was let up from under water to breathe...... and breathe I did..... and then ofcourse as a result of that I came to Mumbai to work and everybody knows my feelings about Mumbai...

the other big change in my life was my study in London for a year.... It was such an exciting yet anxiety inducing time for me.... I was ecstatic about having got the scholarship to LSE... I was even more ecstatic that I would get to live in London for a year... I remember excitedly packing up my stuff, selling my beautiful low seater chairs, shipping my antique chair to Kottayam, saying goodbyes to all and sundry and heading out to the UK as excited as Baby George gets when he sees food..... what a one year I had... I learned so much, travelled so much, met so many people, studied spanish ....... whew!

And sometimes you see changes happening in another persons life and that affects you ... like my sister shifting to Mumbai and now being a die hard Mumbai fan.... I cannot think of a time without her now...or my friends who all shifted out of Mumbai one by one cos of educatio, marriage or just a change of city.... or the entry of Baby George into this world..... all of them have affected my life in some way or the other....

I guess there will be many more changes in my life - some good some bad....

Change is constant. Thankgod it is.

Today when I went to meet Baby George, he was hidden behind a large suitcase... he was trying to decipher the large object in front of him and only gave up the quest when his aunt stormed in... what surprises me is that Baby George is always stunned to see me... he keeps observing me for a while trying to make sense of this moving blob in front of him.... and then he lets out a smile....

and the latest in Baby George's life is that he has two tiny teeth.... they are so tiny that you cant make out that they are there unless you allow him to bite you.... actually you dont need to allow him he will anyways bite you.... and as always he again followed me around the house and came up to the door when I was leaving for office... this time I carried him all the way upto the taxi and made him say good bye to me..... ahh..I love such moments...

The One Fetish

I have finally come to terms with the one fetish I have in life - Shoes!... I buy shoes as if my life depends on it.. so I have shoes for rains, shoes for summer, shoes for winter, shoes for office (ofcourse!), shoes for trekking, shoes for formal dinner and myriad other activities that I keep thinking I will undertake....


But recently my fetish for shoes has had quite a painful outcome.... After nearly 3 months I decided to splurge on shoes and trotted off to Metro Shoes... and purchased what I thought were really nice looking pair of shoes... I mean my feet looked nice in them and I could walk in them (in the shop at least)..what more do I need?..... and excitedly wore it in office the next minute... except I didnt stop to consider the effect wood pannelling in my office would have on my dainty little shoes.... I kept slipping and kept holding on to anything (including humans) to prevent a complete humiliation....


and off I stormed to the shop to exchange my one minute old shoe.... and got in its stead another dainty pair of shoes... well I looked nice in them, I could walk in them (I checked on wooden panneling as well)... what more do I need??.... and excitedly wore it in office the next minute.... this time I didnt stop to consider whether the shoes would actually fit me!!! It feels as if the shoes are baying for my blood and I walk around as if I am making my feet do some penance for some past sin....


Penance and me dont look too good together.... and now it is too humiliating for me to go back and change my shoes once again ...

There are two options for me - never wear my shoes again which is completely scandalous to my middle class mentality or become as thin as Victoria Beckam so that my entire body fits into the shoes.. ofcourse in the process I can look like I am doing penance for having ever eaten in my life... hmmm...

Mumbai in the Rains

I love the rains and unlike most mumbaikars I love mumbai in the rains.. yes it is slushy, dirty, traffic jam inducing etc etc but look around people - Mumbai actually looks gorgeous! ... I love the rain anywhere but since this is my city I get to kick back and enjoy the rain from my house.... ofcourse in my home in Kottayam I get pampered with home cooked food when it rains.....

so once the rains lashed mumbai like it was going out of style I decided to venture out and capture the mood in mumbai..... and as un- expected my camera discharged just when I took it out ..... so once again I was stuck with a dilemma - to take or not to take..... and finally went with the first option.... in the process I got to see a rain drenched mumbai in all its beauty... and for the first time I went into Prince of Wales museum ..... it is quite nice I must add.... and got to see beautiful parts of Ballard Estate, Horniman Circle, The Naval Dockyard........ and ofcourse there was Taj Mahal hotel and Marine Drive which I didnt capture........

But this was more like a trial run for me... I want to do a proper photo tour soon.... with more planning... and capture Crawford Market, Chor Bazaar, Ban Ganga, Victoria Terminus........ anybody game???

People Like Us

One of the most irritating things I find about people is when they give me the "people like us" dialogue... Let me explain....

sometimes you are just sitting around discussing and dissecting problems in life - for instance that leaky tap in your house, or the maid that steals your sugar or what will happen in two years....or the perennial problem that women have to discuss about - Weight!!.... and then suddenly the person most affected by the problem inlcudes you in the problem by saying "for people like us it is so difficult"..... and I go completely mad hearing this.... and I feel like screaming - "Listen! Dont inlcude me in your problems. My problems are mine and I have enough of them so I cant be bothered about your problems that you think is a problem for me as well."

Ofcourse that rarely happens and most often I just turn away and change the topic... next time I should probably say "yeah, who would have thought being so damn good looking would cause so many problems".... that way the person also feels good and I come away looking good.....

Thats a plan.

Wondering Years

Thanks to Zee cafe I now get to catch reruns of famous serials which have been discontinued. One of my all time favorites is "Wonder Years". The show started when I was in school I think and I actually caught up with it only when I came to law school.

Wonder Years takes me to a place of yearning. Mainly I yearn for the things that Paul, Winnie and Kevin have in the serial - a place where you grew up since you were small, a place where your best friend is just across the street, a place where the girl/boy you like lives across the road and a place where you somehow have the space to discover yourself. As always my biggest grouse in life is that I never grew up in a specific place where I could come back to as home, where I could catch up with my childhood buddies and never realise that times have changed since I left town. I doubt whether the new generation in my family also have that since they also keep moving around with their parents.

In law school, I would also feel jealous of my friends who would relate stories of them meeting with their childhood friends over the school break... my friendships actually began in law school and I cant recollect any friend from childhood who I am in touch. It is slightly difficult when you have shifted countries I guess but still.... I yearn for those things that I cant have...

Perhaps its important to focus on the fact that I have changed homes so many times that I can adjust in any place and make new friends easily....

Why am I not excited?

India is all poised to have its first woman president. By all stretch of imagination I should be excited and feeling proud of the fact that women have come so far in this country. But I am just not excited about this new development. the reasons?

Firstly, I will miss Kalam. I remember when I was studying in London people all commented about how India has a rocket scientist as the president. They saw India as being the country where scientists are honoured in this manner. And honestly I felt good that people made such an association.

Secondly, I dont know enough about the new nominee. Having heard about her background it appears to be her closeness to a specific No. 10 that has propelled her to this post. Not a good sign ever.

Thirdly, I feel Indian public doesnot have a voice in this matter. Going by the polls, it appears that people still prefer to have someone like Kalam in the presidents office.

Fourthly, I am always averse to people being promoted cos of gender. While I promote equality I hate the slogan of equality being used to gain advantage. In this specific case however gender may be a secondary consideration.

I also find it extremely ironic that India, with all its backward policies with respect to women, have been more than willing to accept women leaders. I know there is a touch of sentimentality attached to the same but women leaders have stayed put in the political spectrum. And like Time Magazine said India is in all but name being run by an Italian lady with no college education!!.

The dichotomy in India is amazing!

Am I fat or thin?

Now it is a tradition between Christy and me. Everytime I meet him after a week of dieting I ask Christy (with some trepidation, ofcourse) "Christy, am I fat or thin?"... Christy looks me up and down and always replies "Fat!!"... and without fail this routine ends up with me chasing Christy around the house and finally pinning him down and squeesing him till he gasps "You are thin, Vava aunty"... Ahh...Victory... the only time Christy was ever polite to me was when I was leaving Kerala when he told me "You are little thin" (whatever that means) mainly cos he was feeling sad that i was leaving... I hugged him tighter that day...

Christy being so whimsical, I decided to co-opt Baby George early on to my side... my game plan was to train him from 7 months itself to make sure that he always says "Thin!" when I ask him the question.... and so I pounced this question on an unsuspecting Baby George... he was precariously standing up (holding on to my hand) when I popped the question "Baby George, Am I fat or thin?".... expecting only a knowing nod or a smile from him which can be interpreted to mean only yes.... instead, as if on cue, Baby George reached out and grabbed my cheeks!! as if saying "look at these cheeks. Ofcourse you are fat!"...

But never one to go down without a fight I also zestily grabbed his cheeks and said "You are also fat!".... Baby George smiled....

Baby George Ka Gussa

Baby George is really growing up.... My sister tells me that he has completely rejected baby food (e.g. farex) in favour of idlis, chapatis and fried rice..... and seeing the portions he eats I suspect he is going to be a bouncy round baby soon..... and he craves for the same things that we crave for... recently in one of our outings, my sister and me were having icecream... Baby George immediately started kicking his legs in the air and leaned across to my ice cream cone... and when we refused to give him he started crying as if we have been denying him food all his life.... he only relaxed when my sister gave him little bits of icecream ... we also quickly ate up our ice cream and Baby George soon forgot what he was crying for...

Baby George has also started crawling now... he follows me around the house... not to mention following my sister surrepticiously into the kitchen and scaring my sister no end.... and now he has realised that some members of his family actually go out everyday and while doing so say 'tata' to him... he clearly thinks he should also be going out like the others ... the other day when I said tata to him to leave for office, Baby George mustered up all the strength he had in his 7 month old body and crawled all the way to the door.... and plonked himself right at my feet and lifted his hands up for me to take him with me.... I am not one to show to emotions... But was that cute or what???? Ofcourse his mother then picked him up and took him to the stairs lulling Baby George into believing that he was also going out just like us...

Why does he want to grow up so soon??? And that too come to office????

Rain Rain...

Where are the rains????? In all my years at Mumbai I have never wished for the rains so much... its sultry and hot and I find it difficult to sleep in my house.... ofcourse I have the option of fitting in an AC in my house but given my new environmental activism I prefer not to increase consumption of electricity... in any event, the tradition has always been that the heat would come close to boiling point and then the rains would douse it out....

But not this time ... apparently the cyclone "Gonu" in Oman has distracted our sweet little monsoons to go to the gulf rather than come to Mumbai.... What the heck???? And apparently rains have reached Punjab and Shimla while the rest of the country is reeling under a heat wave.... and this is what I want to know - What does Punjab and Shimla have that Mumbai doesnot? Why this step motherly treatment? Why? Why?

And I have made a bargain with the monsoons... if they come soon I shall take pictures of Mumbai in the rains... showing monsoons in all their glory.....

Another women centric post... consider yourself warned...

I was recently watching the Donald Trump serial "the Apprentice". I like watching it cos it sort of shows you the kind of things that can go wrong and makes you feel that you are not the only one who screws up once in an while.

In one of the episodes I watched, the finalists were two women... One was an older woman who was married with kids and the other was a younger woman who was not yet married.... and at the final interview session, the 'Donald' asked both of them as to why they want to win.... and the older married woman said of the other younger woman "she wants to win cos she doesnt have anything else in her life to look forward to other than this job".....

That comment just potrayed what is a very common place occurence in society... how women turn on women .... so in case you are single and unattached you welcome such comments from attached people... and in case you are attached your single friends find you weird ... and most career women look down on the stay at home moms or the housewives saying they are not doing anything with their lives.... when all of the above is so untrue!!!! none of these women are more useless or useful due to these things... they are all women who are doing what they love best at that point in time..... to respect that is not asking for too much, I think.....

I dont know who is wrong and who is right... but I do know that women are the worst enemies of women... I doubt whether a single man would look at a married man and make fun of him... or viceversa... Men perhaps dont view each other differently cos of one's relationship status....
Why are women so ready to berate another woman?

P.S. Trump chose the younger woman in the end. Perhaps he also realised that a woman who is so sexist should not be in his team.

Innocence of Children

well what do you know... Baby George didnt recognise me... I blasted into the house hoping to see Baby George smiling but instead all I got were curious stares from Baby George.... and I tried my best to make him remember me..... I picked him up, played with him, made him fly - but he still stared at me..... stared at me in a way that speaks "I know you from somewhere..."..... so I decided that the best way to revive his memory was to recreate a chaotic scene in kerala along with his brother... so christy and I (with baby george tucked safely in my arms) started yelling and jumping around.... and contrary to my expectations Baby George made an upside down smile and started crying!!!!...

The amazing part was that he hugged me even tighter while crying... he didnt let go of me even when his mother came to pacify him... he just kept holding on to me.... perhaps saying "why did you scare me vava aunty. I have just taken a flight and am jet lagged now".... finally I gave him my finger to bite and he calmed down.... and then he let out a small smile.....

Kids are so innocent.... they turn to the ones they are attached to even if they are the ones that scare them.... which reminded me of a story my sister related about Christy at the age of 3.... after having received a sound beating from my sister, Christy went back to my sister and complained about her to her!!!! So innocent...

As for me, I am healing my bitten finger by soaking it in hot water.... the scary thought is what if I have to give my finger to bite everytime I scare children ???? ..........



kids are so innocent... they turn to the ones they are attached to even if they are the ones that hurt them.... so innocent....